Laugh With Me

The other day I went out to eat with my friend her young teenage boy and the bean. We were chatting along then somehow the conversation got on the topic of my amazonian self.

My darling friend said very casually "yeah, you're an amazon."

My reply "yup, I am."

I love this woman for her frankness and comfort with such topics (body issues are just the tip of the iceberg). She has had body issues in the past and has embraced herself. Being around her and some other women lately who do not have social hang ups with talking about size weight and other body issues has been liberating. She realized that she did not want to be the thin woman or the woman with smaller boobs. Her body is beautiful and I will joke with her about her small ass any day.

Some folks in the past have tried to prescribe a "fix" or share their tips to a flatter tummy and a perky ass. With all their good intentions I am not looking to be fixed or told "no, your not big." I understand this response it is the socially acceptable thing to do and say. Unfortunately to me it seems like a washed out conversation. Why not say "yeah, you're a big girl. your husband loves your cottage cheese butt. work it."

If I really wanted to I would eat minimally and work out frantically and I could look like those airbrushed women that most strive for. I did work hard for that ideal body when I was 13 and ended up with a slimmer body and an eating disorder. I was so body obsessed in early college that I could hardly go out socially or to classes sometimes because I didn't look the way I wanted (fearing others judgment or ridicule heard and unheard- a kind of anthrophobia) . I am done with that. My body is a big part of who I was and who I am. (lol)

I am an almost six foot woman of Swedish and Scottish decent who packs a soft 218 lbs. When I talk about my size, or crack a joke about it I am not being self deprecating I am embracing it in my own backwards way. Laugh with me don't tell me to stop, or walk away with your fingers in your ears singing "LALALA - I don't hear you".

I do not want my daughter to idealize anything but her healthy self big or small. I do not want my son to have a limited view of femininity and beauty.

Laugh with me people, I am big and beautiful.

Think Global, Birth Local

(editorial from the new issue of The Birth Project Issue VI Spring 2008)

This spring ACOG (American College of Obstetrics and Gynocology) released their updated statement on home birth (reprinted on pg. 12), generally reiterating that they oppose homebirth as well as individuals and organizations who offer or support such options for women and families. We have a few great articles responding to this ACOG statement. This statement is not supported by much of the research; in contrast, research shows that homebirth and freestanding birth centers are statistically safe and actually produce better outcomes overall.

Also this spring many meetings were held by home birth midwives and those who support them discussing The Big Push for Midwives (see pg. 26 for web link), debating the future of midwifery in the United States. Check out their website for more information about the issues around the legislating midwives. Some are in favor of this movement towards “legalization” and some are against it. There are members of the “medical” community opposed to anything that would support homebirth options but also within the homebirth community some see legislation not as progress but as restriction on their practice and how they are able to serve women and families.

What most people don’t realize is that in some states the right to make the decision to birth at home and birth centers have been taken away from women and families. As seen on Good Morning America on January 2008 unassisted homebirth is something that women are turning to when they cannot find a midwife to attend to them at home. Some also make the decision to have an unassisted homebirth in areas where midwives are available for personal or sometimes financial reasons since homebirth care is usually paid out of pocket. Like other women’s reproductive rights issues, we need to ask: should it be a case of choice, availability and safety? One would think...

On the internet many bloggers are also discussing/debating these hot birth topics and more. There is a buzz of something going on. We are talking about it too, here in The Birth Project.

Most think or assume that birth and birth culture is fine and dandy (more or less outside of the fear of pain that the majority of women have). Many times I end up having conversations about birth with expecting parents, in either doula consultations or in my childbirth education class, friends and family, or even sometimes strangers (although I don’t go out of my way to get on this topic with strangers, it just sometimes comes up). I can see it in their faces that they are realizing that birth, birth culture, birthing decisions, and birth politics are not fine and dandy. They are complicated, multi-layered, politically charged shades of gray, with the eye of the storm - mothers, babies and their families, usually unaware of the huge conflict spinning around them. There are issues- health care issues, human rights issues, women’s rights issues, safety issues, ethical issues, legal issues, psychological issues, emotional issues, physical issues, even environmental issues.
~
One of the many books on my reading list this spring is actually not about birth. It is Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver. It makes a ”passionate case for putting the kitchen back at the center of family life and diversified farms at the center of the American diet”. This book speaks to the idea of eating local and seasonal to, among other things, reduce one’s carbon footprint. So what do agricultural sustainability, and carbon footprints have to do with birth politics you ask?

It is all about how we live and think. Like sustainable agriculture, birth is about business. If we eat more local and seasonal it causes economical issues for the businesses (corporate farms, trucking, packaging, etc.) and employees of those businesses that grow and transport food all over the world. On the flip side local farmers, markets, dairies etc. would be more supported. If more women birth at home or in birth centers a large portion of hospital revenue will take a economical hit along with the companies that make and distribute much of the equipment used at hospital births as well as the income of the doctors that do deliveries in the hospitals. Again on the flip side community midwives would be supported and if the demand were higher for these birth settings momentum could be made for insurance coverage and more accessibility for all who seek alternative birth options, potentially reducing insurance premiums. The waste byproduct from the equipment and apparati at hospital births is many times that of home and birth centers. So again, it is also an environmental issue - reducing the human carbon footprint.

On this beautiful spring-y day (finally!) I ask you to open your mind to the big picture. Think big and also with empathy for the whole picture on both sides. The only way we can hope to move forward is to work together (see the well written open letter to ACOG on page 13). I also ask you to incorporate this kind of thinking to other aspects of your life - how you eat, if you recycle, speak of politics, how you parent, and so on.

Act with thought and empathy for all.

We are dedicating this issue to midwives since May 5th is National Midwife Day. If you have had a midwife in your life and feel so inclined, send her a letter of appreciation this May. It is hard, amazing work that these women take on ~ send them some love to help get through that next sleepless night. The month of May is also International Doula month so send them warm fuzzies too.

Life and Death

One of my life obsessions and fears is death. It may be why I work in birth and have a desire to do hospice work at some point in my life.

The collection of photographs is by German photographer Walter Schels, 72 Faces of Life and Death is a beautiful window into a part of our existence that most choose not to think about. There is a link at the end of this article where you can view some portraits from the collection. What a fascinating project.

Dare I say "childfree"???

It was recently brought to my attention a blog thread debating about "childfree". Read it here

Since the comments were closed I thought I would share my thoughts here.

First regarding the taxes for schooling issue: I homeschool my kids and I happily pay my taxes for the schools that we are not using because the kids that use those schools will some day be adults. Adults that will be most likely join the work force and be paying taxes into social security that I will (hopefully) someday get. These children will grow up to be adults that may become the nurses that wipe my ass if I become old and need assistance or maybe they will just come and sit with me and chat in the home (I hope I do not end up in a home but it could happen- you never know). The fact of the matter is that even the "childfree" adults reaped the benefit of taxes for schooling as children going through the school system.

Second regarding the infertility treatments: This one seems really out of left field. From the information I have most infertility treatment is NOT covered by insurance, it is an out of pocket cost for the desire to have children. When infertility treatments may be covered by insurance and you are concerned about it bringing up your insurance cost- it can be equated to my insurance costs being higher to support that cost of people who need extensive medical care because they choose to eat like shit their whole lives and not take care of themselves. I try to eat healthy, take care of myself and rarely use the medical system or pharmaceuticals. It is a crap shoot when dealing with private insurance. Fat unhealthy people ore more of a problem than folks who choose infertility treatment - other than the fact that once conditions usually takes a person out of the population and the other can add a person to the population.

Third regarding the cost of Childbirth: Ha ha ha... where do I start? I totally agree that the cost of childbirth in this country is disgusting. I am a birth activist and a birth worker and could really expand on this but I will keep it short. Childbirth is major revenue for most hospitals. As with most things it is a business and a business that makes $$$. I agree that it should not be about $$$ and about proper health care but like the second point I take a chance when I get insurance coverage that I am paying for a lot of shit for a lot of other folks that I have no control over. I had my second child at home and paid for it out of my own pocket a whole whopping $2000 (that is for prenatal, birth through 3-4 postpartum visits) for amazing care. More thorough, attentive and personal care than I got "in the system" with my first birth which the birth alone was $6000 (i cannot imagine how much the total was with prenatals, testing, ultrasounds, and that one postpartum visit). This is a ten year old article but not too much has changed in ten years and what has changes is not for the better - birth centers closing, the c-section rate going up to 30% and womens choices being taken away. Choices that would lower overall childbirth costs.

Fourth the pity factor: I do not pity you at all. The "childfree" have a freedom I do not have. They do not have the weight of raising another human being not to be an asshole. They do not have the stress of fighting with little irrational people. That is your choice and right as a "childfree" person and I would not change a damn thing about my life and the choices I made to have my children. I was pitied by my "childfree" friends when I had my unexpected child at 25 but from a distance. It was hard and it sucked and no one was there to help me. I am very aware of the "childfree" culture. I have changed diapers in the front seat of cars with the door open for room in hail storms because the bathroom did not have a changing table, I have breast fed my child on a toilet in a restaurant, I have gotten looks of contempt for taking my quiet well behaved children places, among other things. So you get no pity here and I do feel that most of you that feel pitied are being a little too sensitive - be a duck and let it roll off your back if they pity you then it is their ignorance. Let it go.

Fifth in regards to the "you had ‘em, they are your problem, expect nothing from me, and by-the-way, could you make them shut up?": This made me think of when I went out to brunch with some friends of mine (with out quiet well behaved children - we were armed with mini princesses to distract them) and a few tables over there was a family with an adult that was mentally impaired that had tendencies of turrets. This person was loud at times, very loud. I thought it was great that these folks could go out as a family including that special needs family member. Should I have interrupted this family and asked them to "shut up" their special needs adult member for the sake of my perfect civilized brunch experience? Do I mind that I pay into their health care needs? Do I not hold the door open for them as it takes them three times as long to get out the door because they are also disabled? We must remember that our culture generally looks on our elderly as we look at our children. Should I say to the "childfree" "expect nothing from me or mine as you get older and may need assistance, and by-the-way wipe your own ass"?And as for myself, I expect nothing but the same patience and understanding for myself and my child that you would offer any other human being.

This debate reminds me of my thoughts on vegans (sorry if i offend any vegans out there). We are privileged to live in a society that we have the opportunity to be so picky and opinionated about what we and others eat. Many places you eat what you have or die be it rice or rat. We are also privileged to live in a society that we can have such idealistic and lofty separatist ideas of family and society. Many places you would live in a 900 square foot house with your parents, aunts, grandparents and other extended family breeders and "childfree" alike working towards sustaining.

I did find many of the comments on the original blog post ill-founded generalizations and misinformed. I do not care if you are "childfree" that is your choice so live your "childfree" life but do not do things like go to the Corner Brewery (a family friendly brew pub) and bitch about kids being there. You have every other bar in town that is not family friendly. The "childfree" have the majority of public places built to their needs not mine as a breeder. We do not live in a family friendly culture.

I need to go garden now while my crotch droppings and the neighbors crotch droppings play delightfully together. Have a lovely Sunday.

family friendly culture

This came to me on one of my email lists. Find the full article here. This is yet another grand example of how ridiculously un-mother-child-friendly our culture is.

A Maryland judge sentenced a breastfeeding mother to a night in jail or a $150 fine, after she asked to postpone her jury duty.

Elizabeth Jett's baby boy Henry was less than 12 weeks old when she was called for jury duty. "I think it's a case of priorities. Taking care of your children should be your first priority. Jury duty can always come later," Jett said.

Jett asked to postpone and serve during the Summer, when Henry would be older and her mother, a full-time teacher, could take care of him and his five-year-old brother.

The Carroll County judge said Jett was in contempt of court, which Jett thought was unbelievable. "I was just shocked. I couldn't even put it into words," she said.

Legislation that would allow nursing mothers with children under the age of two to be excused from jury duty was introduced for the second time. When the plan was proposed in 2004, many lawmakers shot it down.

Brian Frosh, Chair for the Maryland Senate Judicial Proceedings Committee, said the law would cause more people to try to postpone their duties, "If you start saying, we're gonna excuse people for breastfeeding, you've gotta say ok to kidney dialysis, chemotherapy and all the other maladies that afflict the human condition."

Frosh said the law already gives judges broad discretion to excuse residents from jury duty, "So what we want is for judges to use their discretion liberally."

As for Elizabeth Jett, she has since asked for a waiver, because she can't afford the fine. The judge in the case, Barry Hughes, did not want to comment. The jury commissioner hung up on Andrea McCarren, as soon as she identified herself as a reporter.

In the state of Maryland there is an exception for members of the military:

Are members of the military exempt from jury service?

There is no automatic exemption for members of the federal or state military services. You may claim such an exemption if your jury service on the date requested would unreasonably interfere with the performance of military duties or affect adversely the readiness of the military unit. The form certifying these requirements must be completed by the commanding officer or supervisor of the person requesting exemption.

In the state of Maryland there is an exemption for employers (i guess if your job is important enough):

The date on which my employee is to report for service is one when we absolutely need the employee's services. What can be done?

The period for jury duty can be adjusted, with some restrictions. If your employee is called for jury service on a date not good for your business, most jurisdictions will allow the employee to re-set the date to report for service. You may be asked to document by letter the reason for the postponement. While one postponement usually will be granted, the employee will be expected to be available on the re-set date.

A request for postponement should be made as early as possible. The court will have less flexibility to grant postponements as the day of actual jury service approaches

~

As of July 2007 twelve states have statutes specifically addressing breastfeeding and jury duty. Here is a document put together by Melissa R. Vance, JD, Legal Advisory Council on Breastfeeding and Jury Duty.

Here is a website that promotes family-friendly jury duty legislation. One step towards making a family friendly culture.

On that note and completely off the topic of jury duty I want to give many thanks to our local watering hole The Corner Brewery for a family friendly pub! I know it has meant so much to so many families in this area to have a place to go and have a pint with some friends without having to stress about "who are we going to find to babysit the kids???" Thank you.

it is almost april and...

we are expecting 3-6 inches of snow tonight. (one for the road eh?) a good excuse to get the fireplace fired up (lol).

today i got my house professionally cleaned!!!! i love barter. i believe it is the way to go. if anything it has been totally worth going to massage school to be able to barter for cleaning, painting, computers, coffee, you name it.

not only are my bathrooms renovated (wall paper gone and painted) but they are CLEAN.

there is something so beautiful about a clean that someone else did along with food that someone else cooked.

and it is scrabble night! yay!

victoria secret nursing bras???

why do i find this disturbing?

ok, let me clarify. i LOVE that bra and almost (but not really) wishes i was still nursing so i could buy this bra. and i am so excited that victorias secret is hopping on the band wagon for supporting (lol) breastfeeding mothers. but can we get some real models please?

would it be that hard to get a model that we could not see her ribs? this is not am image that new mothers need to be inundated wtih when looking for a sexy nursing bra. and yes i said sexy.. like smokin hot. i personally want mamas to feel sexy and smokin' postpartum in usually their plumper than usual selves.

also how does this help those mamas who are nursing and need to eat 300-400 more calories than they did when they were pregnant growing that baby. looking at this photo evokes the desire to sustain on water and cigarettes personally speaking.

wait a minute here is super model cindy crawford who DID have kids and proudly shows the badge of motherhood - stretch marks. i grabbed this image from this news blip. unfortunately the had to say "Unsightly: Cindy Crawford's stretch marks" under a super close up of her belly. i say rock on cindy crawford for wearing your bikini!

on a side note i would love to take a photo of this news organizations editors ass and do a close up on their unsightly butt pimples and cellulite and write about it in people magazine. for real.

if you have never checked it out here is the real Shape of a Mother.

what is blogging?

looking back i have taken a bit of the lazy woman's blogging style as of late. so here i am back in full force.

i am trudging through putting the next issue of The Birth Project together. i am trying a few new layout options (get a copy and check it out!) and i am dealing with temporarily not having access to the software i need on our new-to-us-used computer. i may mention here that i love and rely on technology but i hate it so. it makes my skin crawl. we have some really great pieces this time around. it will once again be a super "eeeeekkkkk" moment of excitement when we pick it up from out super awesome local printer.

the monkey has been getting nightly phone calls from a new friend of his that lives about a half hour from us, so we dont see them often enough, and the boys talk about their band that they are going to start. tonight it was decided that they will not form until christmas but will practice until then. it was absolutely adorable to eves drop on their conversation. the monkey was so geeked to be getting phone calls and it seems that this may become a nightly ritual. so cool. oh, the monkey is the drummer btw. sweet!

i measured the kids the other day and the bean has grown about an inch and a half since january. mind you in january i splurged and took the bean to value world and got her a garbage bag of new-to-her clothes and some of them are already too short. damn skippy! luckily i was prepared and bought some pants to roll up for now so they will fit in the fall. smart cookie i am.

on the homeschooling front- i swear february through april are a wash for me every year. i find also when i teach at work i am lack luster this time of year also. hmmmm..... maybe i am a bear and need to hibernate through these dreary months of torture. mind you we are having a record snow year for the first time since 1880 and it is supposed to snow this weekend (***sniffle***sniffle***tear runs down cheek) i am so done with this and so are the kiddos. we are all bouncing off the walls and dreaming of digging in the dirt (the beans favorite animal is the beloved worm) and growing and eating beautiful heirloom vegetables.

funny story: last week the kids had a big and the monkey threw up once (poor monkey) but it was the middle of the night and he saw it coming and mindfully asked for a bucket to have next to him just in case (always thinking ahead, that kid). when it did occur he was sleeping on the floor (he sleeps on the floor everynight training for his future as an adventurer) in my office which is a small room off our bedroom. the stench aweful - really it was like no words could describe. it was contained in the bowl provided and i quickly went to dispose. as i was coming back the monkey says "i lost my tooth" my reply "i didnt just flush it down the toilet, did i?". immediately i was trying to figure out if it was inappropriate to leave a quarter in the toilet for him in the morning. but no worries he had it in hand. whew. so the monkey is gap faced at the moment and has 1 week to self extract his other front tooth for the health of the tooth that has already come in behind it.

i have been working out again at the beautiful rec center. i have been lifting weights 3 times a week and riding the bike. training to roll with the cool kids of bike ypsi. i have come to accept that yoga, running and pilates are not my thing. they bore me really. i have found my groove and am rolling with it. it helps that the rec center is like a spa and i LOVE the in locker room hot tubs and dry sauna. it also helps that the last two times i was in the hot tub i was mistaken for a 20 and 23 year old by some older (50's) women. nice!


last update:we have been watching lost. we are through the second season and are starting season 3 tomorrow thanks to lovely wendy. it is a date night every night with lost. we snuggle up on the poof chair and watch 2-3 episodes. and i somehow kick the PSII remote (we use the PSII for the dvd player) and i either somehow put subtitles or a foreign language setting that we do not know how to undo. i find john locke to be personally inspiring. and makes me want to read john locke philosopher. i hear this is the addictive part of lost- all the little connections to this and that. how interesting.

i am writing this while watching (psudo-watching really) mythbusters and i just need to mention here that kari is a very attractive young lady. her bio photo is really cheesy and does her no justice- too done up.


AND most importantly MY BATHROOMS ARE DONE!!! wall paper gone (thanks to andy!) painted and decorated!!!!!! whooohoooo!!!

done with my catch up post. happy spring.

Food Find

Post easter dinner food find:
Cold ham leftovers with ready whip whip cream.
yum.

dinner

i feel a pot luck dinner party in my future. i put my fire pit together this weekend and gave it a whirl. so...... who is up for a spring dinner and fire???

(yes we have scrabble too ;)

warning: birth video (but a really neat one :)

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Another Reason to Hate Golf (sorry dad)

Read about it here.

Do's and Dont's of New Baby Care

I came across this blog post and for a brief moment thought of incorporating it into my Newborn Infant Care Class.

The Big Push for Midwives

check this out.

the ant and the sperm

there is an ant that likes to hang out on my bathroom floor. just one ant. he roams around on the same two tiles. he does not seem to care for company nor does he seem to have purpose. but he is there greeting me, with my pants around my ankles. it does not seem to phase him and i am glad to not interrupt his time. he amuses me and makes me think of spring. so the next time nature calls i can only hope my friend is there to greet me.

then there is my husband. the lover of science. he would be totally content living in the middle of nowhere with few humans around and those that were would need to be able to science speak. he with nature and a temperature controlled dome of reptiles, fish, amphibians and random cultures of wingless fruit flies and aquatic insects to feed to the previously listed specimens. but this evening my man of science was compelled to use his 7 year olds discovery channel microscope to view his own sperm. although the resolution was not great it did work. he was giddy and eager to share. i feel closer to my darling husband and his swimmers. it does make me wonder though all the households with kids microscopes how many have been used to view sperm?

spring is creeping in..maybe.

PUZZLE DONE!! now off to get puzzle glue and hang it on the wall. i have carried this puzzle around for 10 years started it 4 or 5 different times but with small kids it was not a good idea. so ten years later it is done and only one piece is missing.

the bathroom is sluggin along. i didnt touch it today. could not tear myself away from the puzzle.

my garden is on my brain. it will be a year of canning, freezing and tinctures. planning on how much we can grow and where. our soil is crap so i am thinking container garden and a lot on normal street.
i did find a meat csa that i need to follow up on. apparently you would get a mixed box of meat a month. (i just love the way that sounds ;) it is on my todo list to call calder and get on their delivery list. i have been doing door to door organics and i am going to hold on to that until the markets open. with the whole local thing i cannot imagine giving up bananas and avocados.
i did bust out my bread maker and for some reason it is making some poopy bread that turns into a cruton in 12 hours. so i have to dink around with that or just get into the old fashioned way of making bread. but the nice thing with the bread maker is that i can make pasta dough- another one of my goals. and super bonus the ypsi coop carries local (w/in 100 miles) flour. i still want to take my kids out there one day. it is about a 45 minute drive to linden mi but if i tie it into a visit to the fenton ladies then they will be all on board.

all this food talk is motivating me to do my pantry remodel i have wanted to do and i did buy an electric nail gun yesterday (for my mom) so we are good to go. all i need is my mason jars and freezer bags and a jug of five o'clock vodka (for tinctures).

i see a kitchen overhaul in the future but first things first - the bathroom.

mid-winter

february in michigan is brutal.
so i have started a 1500 piece puzzle. ( a few weeks ago actually but i feel like i have hit the good mojo on it) and i have begun the redecorating of my bathroom. the removal of the wall paper has begun. painful as it is. it is moving in the right direction. stacey, in all her lovely self, helped me remove the wall paper we didnt get it all but go most. we will be hacking away at it again tomorrow, then hopefully we will bust out with the painting. pumpkin but the bean disagrees so we shall see. then it is off to remove the beans bedroom wallpaper and the family room wall paper. i love stacey being off of school this semester! i will get my house done. yay!

it dawned on me

i was chauffeuring the kids around the other day and my brain was a-buzzing on many things then it popped into my head that:

if one is pro-choice on the abortion issue then one should also be pro-elective c-section.

elective c-section is where a mother can ask for a c-section for no reason other than choice. it is a topic of debate since the c-section rate is now at 31% and rising. many think of it like electing for cosmetic surgery. but many of these women do not do it for looks but from fear, misinformation or even convenience. not all mind you some do it for health issues

i am not a fan of elective c-section but it is a womans choice of how she brings the baby into the world. just like it should be her choice whether to bring the child into the world at all. it is not my place to dictate to others what is right for them i can only be supportive and offer information.

hey a week later and again sleep deprived

no sleep in two days and i am ok. should be in bed. but thoughts flood my brain and i want to scream, laugh, cry.
i want to be four years old again. when i had everything figured out.

i was at a birth last night and today. my clients are well and settling in as a new family. but all day as i walked back and forth in the hall of the hospital i had to pass a group of people, an extended family, sitting. heads hung faces blank in sadness and denial. it seems the newest member of their family- a grandchild, niece, nephew, son or daughter- died that morning in childbirth. i over heard a phone conversation of "they took the baby with forceps wrapped it up and took it away. they dont know what happened". all day my heart has been breaking for that family especially a woman i have never met. today her heart was ripped out. at home i am sure they had a nursery set up for the homecoming. a room that may sit untouched for sometime or be torn apart immediately in rage. her milk will come in her body will physically have to heal while her arms are empty. i could not imagine.

and just now as i type i get a lovely text message from the family that became today.
"thank you so much 4 sharing in our journey. our girl is so perfect. you were so wonderful today. thanks again!!!"
a beautiful new family that is starting the long amazing rocky road today. her milk will come in and her arms will be full. the new parents will be tired.. no exhausted- but so in love with their beautiful gift.

sleep deprivation

when i am sleep deprived- not like a bad nights sleep but more like a birth interrupting two nights of my sweet slumber- i get nauseous and head-achy. then it is amazing how i bounce back to normal (or so it seems) after a cup of coffee. BUT then 3pm creeps up and i CRASH!!! irritability gets me through the evening morphing into conversational delirium. my kids may think i am a poopy grouch on the verge of dementia but it was all worth it.

photo update in the new year

i am not too sure about this 2008 thing. we got off to a bumpy start but here are some highlights so far.

there was the monkeys birthday party that was once canceled. it was a bug theme and in the dish of the party was salt and vinegar crickets and barbeque larvae. and yes both my boys ate them with relish. i was not so adventurous. the monkey is really into watching bizarre foods on the travel channel. now he is on his way to his own bizzare food show. the good thing is that i could get him to eat most anything if i just present it as a "bizzare food".















the bean inherited the now forever to be kept devil pjs. believe it or not but just 10 minutes before this photo the monkey was wearing these pjs. yes he wore a size 4T pj until he was 7. he could not quite snap the crotch but wore it with pride hood and all. this was a big moment. (btw that is my bedroom wall of shocking terror in the backgroud- yes it needs to be painted in all my free time)










here is my beautiful monkey boy who turned 7 this year! i am so proud of him and the young man he is. with a heart the size of china. he loves animals (of course), science, math, drawing and is teaching himself how to read. and then there is the funky tooth. he feels like he is a shark with his two rows of teeth.












and i baked pies and chocolate chip bacon cookies. the cookies were devoured before they were able to be photographed. but they were good. the pie was made with brookes amazing crust recipe that the monkey raved over when she brought us food during "the illness". i just love the "bake-king" pan- i dont know where it came from so if it is yours i will wrestle you for it if you want it back.

one of those days

sometimes....
it is not that you wake up
on the wrong side of the bed
you are on your side
in your own bed
it is justthat your children
are wrestling on your head

better than sci-fi and then some practical information

meet dumbo. this is a deep sea octopus. i am passively watching blue planet on animal planet while researching homeopathics for newborn jaundice. my brain works best while multitasking.

back to my thought. the deep sea is an amazing and curious place with such strange and fascinating creatures. what many dont know about me is that out of college i went straight to university at michigan state university and was in the lyman briggs residential college of natural sciences planning to major in marine biology. i dropped out after my first semester with a 1.3 gpa. i might have done better if i went to more of my university classes. i went to the briggs classes more often because they were in my residence hall. i wish i could say that i was partying but for me at that time college didnt work. i had no business being there.

i do not think that my future was to be in marine sciences but i do find sea life so freaking cool. i would love to go down in one of those deep sea submersibles. claustrophobia aside to discover and see first hand this creative life that bends our assumptions of life and where we came from.

and here is what i found so far on newborn jaundice:


There is a research that has concluded that a slight elevation in bilirubin may actually be helpful in preventing bacterial infections in newborns. Bilirubin also has the ability to function as an antioxidant in the brain. According to Dr. Sylvain Dore of Johns Hopkins School of Medicine, "When women breastfeed, the babies have higher levels of bilirubin and are healthier. Babies with higher bilirubin levels are more disease-resistant. Bilirubin also protects against retinopathy in premature babies."

Aconitum napellus (Aconite)
Aconite is used for jaundice that appears acutely and suddenly. Another keynote is jaundice from fright (mother or baby).

Arnica montana
Arnica is indicated for jaundice that is caused from a difficult or traumatic birth. Baby often has bruises. If baby is bruised or swollen, use this remedy as a preventive.

Chelidonium
Chelidoniumis a prominent liver and jaundice remedy in which there is marked lethargy and sluggish bowels.

Lycopodium clavatum
Lycopodium babies are irritable and constipated. The belly rumbles loudly and is full of gas. They are worse from 4 p.m. to 8 p.m.
Naturally, homeopathy and natural medicine offers relief and cure to countless other 'challenges' that await new parents. It is my hope that the use of remedies will continue to grow in popularity as parents become educated and familiar with all that homeopathy has to offer.

built for this work

it has been an insane week and i have not made it to the fitness center since sunday but plan on going tonight. the only thing that is saving me from guilt was the birth i attended two days ago. it was a doula job but a homebirth. it was with a midwife i really like working with and a second time mama.

this mama once she started cookin' was amazing. following her body into some great sweeping movements from dangling to squatting to rocking back and forth. she moaned, she screamed, she growled she let it all go. i was in the role of physical support of which she demanded everything she needed from me. it was one of those moments in this work that she and i were both thankful i am about 6 feet tall and 200 lbs. being a counter weight to a very mobile laboring mom is no easy task. i am happy to say i got out of it with no big back issues but some definitely sore muscles.

neti pot

i have heard of these strange things for years. i remember the six feet under episode where ruth explains what a neti pot is - i was fascinated but not enough to try one.

since my recent invasion of my person by viruses and bacteria unknown i have had a lingering infection of sorts in my left maxillary sinus. leaving me with mild pain/annoyance of the sinus cavity and the upper left molars and occasional ill tasting snot but no stuffiness fortunately. occasionally i would get the nagging fear of an infection penetrating into my brain like a nasal botfly in a wildebeest.

being at the end of my rope with this "sick" thing i busted out and got a neti pot. i was good and read all the instructions (somewhat unusual for me) since i had a great fear of gagging or choking while attempting to irrigate my sinus cavities. (which i did a bit and donn came in to see if i was ok only to turn and gag himself at my watery snot puddling into the sink) side one was a but clumsy and i kept checking in the mirror to see if i was doing it right, hence the choking from ill head positioning. side two on the other hand you would think i was a master.

when done i did as i was told - "gently blow your nose" and i think i heard the angles sing. my tooth pain had lifted and my sinuses felt good for the first time since 2007!

so i am sold on the neti pot and once i am done with all the "nasal wash" packets from my SinuCleanse kit i will be looking into investing in my own REAL neti pot of my own.

now the question is the next time my kids get snotty will i be able to talk them into trying it???

ok, i had to include the "cool neti pot with hot chick" photo.

off the beaten track. if you want to see a botfly being removed from a human eye click here

awesome movie

Flight of the Navigator- now on the hallmark channel. we love the 80's.

IVF burgers and poop cars

how much meat do you eat?

i figure as a household my family of 4 eats about 120 lbs. of meat a year. that is 30 lbs. per person (although the bean maybe does not count as a whole consumer). After reading this article it is motivating me to purchase more local meat. i have thought about it but when budgeting i do "cut corners" and buy the cheaper product. trader joes 80% 20% ground beef and the cheaper ground turkey (i love ground turkey).

i think that the amount of meat we consume is reasonable. i get very creative with meals - butternut, rice, onion, garlic and kidney bean enchiladas with cumin and chili powder with a side of avocado with red onion and lemon. the monkey loved it.

i was looking into the raw diet a few days ago. i dont think i could ever go raw- i love cheese too much. but i do like the idea of eating raw more. it is an interesting idea. one thing i did find on most of the raw sites was the interest in poop as the detox effects of the raw diet kick in. very interesting photos. i liked the recipes on this site www.goneraw.com

i like food. i like good food. i like meat. i like cheese. we can eat more sustainable for the environment - we can make that investment. but raw is just not our thing nor is being vege. the fact is we are all going to die someday and i am going out eating bacon and stilton.

ohhhhh... bacon and stilton chocolate chip cookies???? there is an experiment for you.

body issues

i recently took the plunge and joined the washtenaw community college health and fitness center and I LOVE IT! i have been almost every day this week. now i am contemplating spending the money for the unlimited childcare. it is $35 a kid. the alternative is $10 for the first kid and $6 for the second PER VISIT. and if i do the unlimited it can just be part of our morning routine and i can go every day.

one thing that i noticed is that i am a wee bit tweeked by nudity. odd considering what i do for a living. it is no thing for me to see a naked woman in labor. i can support her, get on my knees and towel her off, clean the blood off her inner thighs, hands on help with breastfeeding..... i am all good. even when i give massages no big deal.

i was walking through the locker room at the wcc and i hear someone say "hi kate" i turned it was my neighbor and she was naked. i was taken by surprise- i felt my eye contact with her was like a five ton brick. we briefly chatted and i went around the corner to put things in a locker and walked back by her and she had her under garments on and i stopped to chat further.

every time i have gone to the fitness center i have changed in the one changing room they have there. when i get out of the shower i am ok walking through with the "oversized" towel wrapped around me. mind you this "oversized" towel barely fits around my amazon frame. i have a little peek-a-boo action on the side.

the interesting thing is that we are naked people at home. it has actually been a very conscious decision for me to have my children used to the naked body and not tweeked by nudity. i want them to feel comfortable in their bodies clothed or not. i do not want the naked form to be a mystery to them or to make them uncomfortable. a reaction maybe to my own upbringing.

another player into my reaction is the issues i have with my own body. i was a large kid in school since kindergarten. i was a size 14/16 by the age of 11. my mother and i would shop in the mens section of the gap and then then hemming at home. between that and my glasses that squished into my chubby cheeks, the fact i am a tall gal and my social awkwardness i was not swimming with friends. then i discovered my eating disorder, grew a bit and slimmed out- i was getting compliments left and right. i even had boys hitting on me - which totally freaked me out. (it still does actually - if it ever happened that is).

i have had body issues most of my life and struggled with food and negative body consciousness for 19 years. intellectually i know that it is irrational but the mind is a funny thing. the silly desire for a flat tummy, to be able to find fashionable clothes easily, the thought of not worrying about the belly roll (i do not care if the muffin top is "in" i just cant go there).... i have a friend that has a t-shirt that she got from henrietta farenheit that says "start a revolution stop hating your body" the funny thing about this is they dont make that tshirt big enough for ladies like me. it is american apparel sizing which is small medium and large for third world dwarves. i would like to wear hip t-shirts too (that are not mens tees).

i loved watching the "what not to wear show on tlc when they had a larger framed woman on and the hosts got schooled in the issue with fashion availability for larger women. it was great. and did you know that on average i have to pay $10 more for tall and plus size for clothes than the average jane. take note when you are looking at your next catalog of j. jill, eddie bauer or lands end. and most catalogs only go up to size 12 or 14 anyway.

so, i hope that maybe along with getting healthier and fitter maybe my experiences int he locker room can help me get over my body hangups.

I HATE TOILETS

ok, it is not really that i hate toilets, i hate cleaning toilets. i would much rather dig a hole in the yard and stick a box with a hole over it. when it starts to funk fill it in and dig another.
yes i admit in the winter it may be a little drafty on the bits but i am ok with that if i do not have to clean the porcelain crusted with dried urine from my ill-aimed boy child and dried poop splatters from the intestinal explosions that occasionally visit our family members.

but the birthday party is coming and clean toilets must be had so i get on my knees and bow down to the porcelain thrown and do my duty as a good house wife, scruba-scrub-scrub. (i really have to laugh at calling myself a house wife- it just does not fit. how about house diva. i like that. i do sing my songs of hatred while i clean so it would fit. or house goddess. or house master. or she who do-ith all. or mama on the edge!)

air of authority

tonight i taught my cbe class. i am loving it more and more as i go on and getting more comfortable to boot. now this can be a good thing and a not so good thing. getting more comfortable makes the class more interesting and even more informational for the couples but then i teeter the line of casual liberties.
when i was getting "trained" in teaching i was told to hold an air of authority in my teaching which usually that may be a good thing but when trying to educate and instill confidence in mothers and couples to trust their bodies and the process of birth i say pppfffttt-shaw to holding an air of "authoritative knowledge". i think if you try to present that to your listeners than what is your message? i offer what i know and they can take it as they will. some will embrace it, some will be upset by what i say and some will just be plain offended and think i am full of shit. so be it. i offer no false pretenses and i am not trying to convince anyone of anything.
when one talks about sex, vaginal fluids, pooping, vomiting, moaning, diarrhea, circumcision, vaccinations, placentas, hemorrhage, gonorrhea, death, life, and birth for a living there a a point were you just need to let loose. it is what it is people- just get down and have a baby.

its been awhile.

happy new year.
our family rung in the new year with some wicked viruses. big daddy was under the weather the kids got the sniffles and i got knocked on my ass the day i put my ALACE exam in the mail. i was sick for about 12 days 7 of which were really bad and 5of that 7 i could not get out of bed. some would say i should have gone to the dr. but my body just needed to ride it out. theories of why i got it so hard was that i have been burning the stick at both ends for too long (about two years) and i needed to slow down. big daddy thinks that i got two illnesses at the same time. i think the universe and my body was say "enough already lady".
whatever it was there was definite good that came out of the misery. (there were times i was weeping i was so miserable and tired of being sick). i had some absolutely lovely people step up to help with remedy suggestions (homeopathics) and followed up with me every day, folks brought by some great food (there was a point where the kids were on their own and scavaging crackers and peanuts for food), my husband stepped up like superman, i got really motivated to organize and simplify the house once i was better, i got over my apprehension to cancel appointments and i missed my first birth.
That last one was painful but a good lesson. i cannot do everything all the time perfect and make everyone happy. something about service work like i do you have a nurturing nature that can borderline doormat if left unattended. i have left my nurture nature unattended. boundaries are the theme for 2007 and being ok where i am and with what i am doing in the now. there are things i want to do but circumstances are not favorable and i am ok with that. i kick ass at what i do and i love it so that is where i am now.
not to be too stewart smiley. i love who i am and what i do and where i live and i would not change a damn thing about my life. i am so proud of my kids who are totally awesome and so cool to be around, i am very proud of my husband and am thankful for being married to my best friend who i can share everything with (i just dont see him enough but that will come). ok, done with the sappy stuff. it is my positive step into this new year. it all good.
today is catch up day and the kids are throwing down for my attention as i type away. so enjoy the snow and enjoy today because you could get hit by a bus tomorrow. ;)

THIS IS MADDNESS!

i am so heated by this that i am almost in tears. i really thought we were beyond this.

but it did say that the makers of a prostaglandin compound funded the study, and would be helping fund the next one, along with NIH.

a new year

it has been a hard, stressful, amazing, busy, painful year.

my children have grown and are becoming amazing people. many babies have come into my life this year most professionally but also some wonderful friends have joined the ranks of parent hood this year. it was a year of loss on both sides of our family and life changing events. both of our lives have been busy with work and school (a wonderful change and hope for a satisfying future and feeding a passion for big daddy). we have bent to the changes that have come our way with strength as a unit and as individuals.

i am blessed for all i have and welcome this new year with an open mind and an open heart for all it has to offer.

mad at discovery channel

for those of you who has on demand please do this test for me.
go to discovery health
go to pregnancy
watch the 2 minute piece on epidurals
then watch the 8 minute piece on "natural chldbirth"

*spoiler*
nothing to surprising about the epidural one

BIG FAT BUT
the natual childbirth one went from this mom wanting to have a natural birth 1)laboring in bed to 2) having pre eclampsia and needing mag sulph to 3)getting some drug i think ( i was livid at this point) to the vaginal birth and then4) talking about her tearing and the 6 week recover of the trauma (mind you epidural moms do tear also but they didnt mention it). wtf?

i immediately got on the discovery channel site and emailed them my disgust that the biased promotion of societal dysfunction. please if you feel as i do email them and get that shit of the cable airwaves.

tonight

i believe in santa. and i hope it lasts ..... i am tired of being a grown up.

scrooge

i must admit it is a scrooge year this year for me. i am trying to pull myself up from my bootstraps but it is an effort.

i am looking forward to tonight - getting ready for santas arrival. this is the first year the bean is really understanding what is going on. it is really cool actually.

most of the shopping/gift preparing is done. i am very excited to give my dad and his wife their gift. we get pretty creative with them and i think i topped the list this year.

i think this is the last year we will be getting away with the easy christmas. i think next year the monkey may get more creative in trying to see or get record of evidence of santas arrival. i have hear of parents having to get very creative fulfilling their childs need to have proof. rigging video cameras, bells on the roof (yes i know of someone who did that) and many more elaborate deeds. the monkey tried to go that route this year- video camera but i nixed it. maybe next year with some planning it could be a cool addition to the spirit of the season.

off to give the xmess eve bath- cant be taking stinky kids to grandpas house now can we?

disbelief

i am looking at 80-ish pages of weight that i will be leaving on this desk to be mailed out tomorrow by a lovely lady- then in a few weeks hopefully i will hear that i am totally done with this nightmare certification.

really it was not that the certification was a nightmare it was that the timing was a nightmare. i decided..... no I did not decide- circumstance decided that i would be doing these two certifications at the same time while 1. working 2. running a household of four and 3. homeschooling my kids. not to mention there have been two deaths in the family this fall. this past year has seemed like a mad scramble... kind of like an hour and a half labor where the mom asks you to stay postpartum an extra 6 hours because she just cannot catch up to what happened to her. professionally this past year has been on super fast forward. i am so blessed and lucky for the opportunities that have come my way but it has taken its toll. i am ready for a respite on this climb up the mountain.

after this i have the 50 essay question take home exam to finish and have in the mail by 1/4/08 for my other certification. then after that is approved- one more module and i am done with that certification.

then i go for the neonatal resuscitation certification 1/12/08.

then i am done with any certifications for at least a year.

after all this i will be Miss Thang, CMT, CD(DONA), CBE

haywired

there is a misconception about me, being that i am a birth worker folks assume that i like hanging out with little babies.

now i am not anti-baby i am just much more comfortable around babies when their mother is around. or father for that matter. holding a fussy or crying baby sends crazy stress triggers through my body making me very tense.

i love holding newborns especially within the first few hours. i find it fascinating. but beyond that i know i do not have what they need now what they want and i really honor that.

now if the mom or dad really NEEDED a break because they were about to go postal or have a breakdown i can step up to the plate with flying colors because at that time although the baby thinks being with mommy is the best place on the planet i know that it is not. i am good with that.

i dont get the baby itch. i never had a burning need to be/get pregnant. i never had a great draw to them as a young person so i must come to the conclusion that i am just not wired as such. i did ok in my childrens baby years, in a survival sense, but i would win no awards i will tell you that now. i was blessed that i decided to breastfeed - i think that was my saving grace. i loved my kids as babies but it was definitely not our strong point in the parenting path.

we are now finding that we (donn and i) are just more suited to the older child. the questioner, the thinker, the kids who do the darndest things. i am good with that.

ask and ye shall receive

so i prayed for some clients and they came calling. yay. perfect timing with the holidays. there is something about the simple magic of the universe that amazes me sometimes.

today we tried to make "ginger bread" houses out of graham crackers and the like and they ended up looking more like post katrina ginger bread houses. but the kids had messy fin so all is well.

yesterday i sent off the ever dreaded outline project for proofing. so far it looks good i think. it will soon be sent for the official stamp of approval and out of my mind for a bit. a year long headache done!

the other big project has at least been started and i have chosen to take a new out look of "it is not the end of the world". if i send it in and get it back for revisions so be it. but i am a freaky anal perfectionist at times so this is a lesson in letting go.

the bean tonight was afraid of the monsters and big daddy and she got into a discussion of how zombies actually cannot open doors because they do the (the bean demonstrates) arms out forward with the "uuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhh" sound. so we are safe along with the anti monster dust we have ever where.

i recently signed up for online bill pay. i was against it for a ling time. there is something about physically sending a bill out that made me feel better. i must say though since doing this bills are so much easier although i have not mastered the balancing method yet. i had a great balancing method before (not perfect but it was a method) and finding mew rituals for chores is not an easy change.

speaking of i need to go work on my new ritual.

i covet

tonight i almost bought this. the 20 year old boy from toledo was so adorable and a great sales man. i even agreed to the "great deal" $40/mo $0 down for ......... $1086 total. yes i agreed and then came to my frugal self. i was almost hte owner of a freaking kick ass vaccume and much more. i so still want this vaccume (and so does big daddy) it is amazing. i want. i want. i want. ok, i feel better now.

part of me is happy i didn't but the other part of me is so sadd i did not. they vaccumed the monkeys bed, the stairs, the rig..... amazing and the mechanic of it made sense compared to our current vaccume that now blow a fuse every time you use it.

and did i tell you that this sales boy was trying ot get an all expense paid trip to Chicago. oh i feel so bad. but even after i pulled the plug he was sweet and told me i was the nicest customer they had had and gave me a hug. he was adorable with a great laugh.

i am mourning over te loss of the vaccumei never owned. someday i will own this lovely wonder. and i so very much hope that sweet boy gets to chicago.

teeth

teeth teeth everywhere. my sweet monkey is growing up.

Thich Nhat Hahn

Thay's 14 Precepts:

---

Do not be idolatrous about or bound to any doctrine, theory, or ideology, even Buddhist ones. All systems of thought are guiding means; they are not absolute truth.

Do not think that the knowledge you presently possess is changeless, absolute truth. Avoid being narrow-minded and bound to present views. Learn and practice non-attachment from views in order to be open to receive others' viewpoints. Truth is found in life and not merely in conceptual knowledge. Be ready to learn throughout our entire life and to observe reality in yourself and in the world at all times.

Do not force others, including children, by any means whatsoever, to adopt your views, whether by authority, threat, money, propaganda, or even education. However, through compassionate dialogue, help others renounce fanaticism and narrowness.

Do not avoid contact with suffering or close your eyes before suffering. Do not lose awareness of the existence of suffering in the life of the world. find ways to be with those who are suffering by all means, including personal contact and visits, images, sound. By such means, awaken yourself and others to the reality of suffering in the world.

Do not accumulate wealth while millions are hungry. Do not take as the aim of you life fame, profit, wealth, or sensual pleasure. Live simply and share time, energy, and material resources with those who are in need.

Do not maintain anger or hatred. As soon as anger and hatred arise, practice the meditation on compassion in order to deeply understand the persons who have caused anger and hatred. Learn to look at other beings with the eyes of compassion.

Do not lose yourself in dispersion and in your surroundings. Learn to practice breathing in order to regain composure of body and mind, to practice mindfulness, and to develop concentration and understanding.

Do not utter words that can create discord and cause the community to break. Make every effort to reconcile and resolve all conflicts, however small.

Do not say untruthful things for the sake of personal interest of to impress people. Do not utter words that cause diversion and hatred. Do not spread news that you do not know to be certain. Do not criticize or condemn things you are not sure of. Always speak truthfully and constructively. Have the courage to speak out about situations of injustice, even when doing so may threaten your own safety.

Do not use the Buddhist community for personal gain or profit, or transform your community into a political party. A religious community should, however, take a clear stand against oppression and injustice, and should strive to change the situation without engaging in partisan conflicts.

Do not live with a vocation that is harmful to humans and nature. Do not invest in companies that deprive others of their chance to life. Select a vocation which helps realize your ideal compassion.

Do not kill. Do not let others kill. Find whatever means possible to protect life and to prevent war.

Possess nothing that should belong to others. Respect the property of others but prevent others from enriching themselves from human suffering or the suffering of other beings.

Do not mistreat your body. Learn to handle it with respect. Do not look on your body as only and instrument. Preserve vital energies (sexual, breath, spirit) for the realization of the Way. Sexual expression should not happen without love and commitment. In sexual relationships be aware of future suffering that may be caused. To preserve the happiness of others, respect the rights and commitments of others. Be fully aware of the responsibility of bringing new lives into the world. Meditate on the world into which you are bringing new beings.

Do not believe that I feel that I follow each and every of these precepts perfectly. I know I fail in many ways. None of us can fully fulfill any of these. However, I must work toward a goal. These are my goal. No words can replace practice, only practice can make the words.

"The finger pointing at the moon is not the moon."

off call

i am off call for the first time in ages. it is an odd and wonderful feeling. just the gray cloud that i would carry everyday of the possible call that i would have to drop my life on a dime. it is amazing the stress that gets built up if you do it long enough. feeling like i am always working even thought i am not technically. tied to my cell phone. feeling like i cannot do certain things in fear that i will get called in the middle. i have had two other separate birth working on call folk bring up these same points to me since i have brought up that i am off call. this realization makes me feel better about what i charge to be on call. i was questioning it but being able to step back and see how being on call effects myself and my family puts it in perspective.

i am a night person and never feel like i can stay up just in case i get called. i get most things done in the late night- i am the productive owl. i feel like i can stay up and relax with my amazing and supportive husband. plan for the next day knowing i will be present to execute (or attempt to execute) my plans for the day.

i love what i do but i do need to have more intentional off call periods. because i was getting to the point where i wanted to flush my cell phone down the toilet and move north to live in my yurt on jerky and yogurt.

the aftermath

lovely dinner with A LOT of leftovers.

making the carcass into broth and making turkey schmaltz. now with that i will make a variation of this recipe

Griessnockerlsuppe

Beef Broth with semolina Dumplings

Servings: 12

SEMOLINA DUMPLINGS (24):

2 cups semolina flour, coarse

3 whole eggs

6 oz. soft butter (schmaltz)

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 pinch nutmeg

BEEF BROTH: (turkey broth)

5 lbs. beef bones

3 whole carrots

1 medium red onion

1/2 stalk celery

salt & peppercorns

bay leaves

chopped chives

SEMOLINA DUMPLINGS:

in a small bowl whisk the soft butter until creamy, add salt and nutmeg.

Add eggs one at a time. Make sure the mixture is creamy and airy.

Slowly add the semolina flour until all semolina is mixed with egg mixture.

Cover the mixture and let it rest for 30 minutes in the refrigerator.

Heat water (1/2 gallon) in deep sauce pan and bring to a boil.

Scoop out small dumplings with a soup spoon and form 24 oval dumplings

in the palm of your hand and drop them gently into the boiling water.

Bring to a slow boil and let the dumplings simmer for 10 minutes.

The dumplings are done when they rise to the top

Remove from salt water and place in hot beef broth, 2 nockerl per person.

Top with chopped chives.

BEEF BROTH:

Rinse beef bones. In a large soup pot (4-5 gallons), cover the bones with 2 1/2 gallons of water and all the ingredients. Bring soup to a boil and simmer at low heat for 2 hours.

Skim the foam whenever it builds up on the soup.

Before finishing the soup, check for seasoning and strain through cheese cloth.

Serve soup in a bowl with 2 semolina dumplings.

Garnish with chopped chives

nummies! i had some german semolina dumpling soup at a birth once and have been craving it for the past year.

right nowi am watching dirty dancing.... only on the holidays. :)

kinda local thanksgiving (maybe got 80%)

so i went for the 100 mile local thanksgiving again this year. my mum really wanted a traditional big thanksgiving so i had some resistance to the local thing. with that and a death in the family (memorial the day before thanksgiving) and a birth this past week (the day i was to go out to the royal oak farmers market) i think we did ok.

so here it is:

15 pound turkey - local
stuffing
butter- local
bread- local
onions- local
celery- not local
seasoning- not local
mashed potatoes
pots- not local
milk- local
butter- local
cream cheese- local
sour cream- not local
shrimp dip
shrimp- not local
worcestershire sauce- not local
dried onions- not local
cream cheese- local
corn chips- local and not local (for the curmudgeons)
cheese and grape appetizer- not local (so unfortunate mum bought the stuff)
green beans- local
donns corn dish- a little local (butter & jiffy cornbread mix ;)
pumpkin bread- not local (except sugar)(didnt have time to bake pumpkin and someone only trusted canned pumpkin)
pumpkin pies- not local but homemade (again with the pumpkin)
whipped cream- local
half and half- local
coffee- not local
rolls- local
wine- local
beer- local

so all being said i think we did a smash up job and the turkey is absolutely lovely! guests are here.

happy turkey day!

i have for the most part done this most years for holidays and birthdays (much to my families chagrin) but this year i made it official. my goal is to make most of what i give but this year with a lot of work stuff going on buying handmade will be good too.

the year i was pregnant with the monkey was officially the first handmade christmas - scarves, blankets, candels, cards out of dried sponges and much more. it was great last year when i found the scarf i made my mother with the tag still on.... nice. and a few years ago i found a alabaster sculpture i made my dad in his storage...... i took it back. ;) so with that some may just get a nice basket of home made food or framed kid art.

goodbye grandpa

[IF]

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!

--Rudyard Kipling

micro researching.

so i am digging around for alternative info on arthritis and thought i would throw it out here if anyone else could use the info.

here are some links:

Homeopathic remedies to relieve immediate pain and joint stiffness may include Rhus toxicodendron or Bryonia-more info found here


General info here

More on Rhus Tox here

And more here form the Arthritis Foundation

Cider Vinegar


more later....kids a calling.

In love and stuff

our little get away to k-zoo was not even 24 hours but it was absolutely lovely. but before i get into that let me briefly talk about the build up.

big daddy and i have not taken a getaway from the kiddos in 7 years. there was one night when the monkey was two or three that we had a night off in our own home but that ended up as a poopy night. we dropped him off at 7pm at my brothers (my mom was there too) and my mom dropped him off at 11am after letting his stay up for about 4 hours in the middle of the night watching cartoons so to say the least he was a nightmare when we got him home.

so we planned this getaway to k-zoo a couple of months ago- one night away. i have been on call for a client and she called on tuesday to update and tell me they scheduled her for an induction next tuesday and her husband was thinking the baby would come on saturday (the day we were to jet out of town) so i was very anxious about missing this night away. big daddy would understand but it would be disappointing. he worked really hard finding a hotel and places to eat. he was awesome.

i get a call on thursday about the drs wanting to induce my client. ok, i thought, although i was not too sure about why they wanted to induce her- the reasons are still pretty questionable. they ended up calling me in on friday morning and after a long hard laboring the baby arrived saturday morning. i was home by 8am (on 1 hour of sleep) in time for big daddy to go to school and for me to take the kids to martial arts class (a make up class since he missed thursday-we had a false alarm with the induction and i went in on thursday night only to be sent home). after that i cleaned the kids rooms like a mad woman we played webkinz (i am totally hooked on cash cow) and watched chronicles of narnia. big daddy got home from school we packed waited for my mom and we were off. got to k-zoo at 7ish.

it took us about 40 minutes to find the damn hotel and calling twice for directions. bad direction giving by the receptionist. big daddy went in and got the key and we were off to dinner at The London Grille as suggested. IT WAS AWESOME!!! appetizer, we both had steaks, he had a beer i had an irish coffee and we split a nice scotch. thanks time for the great suggestion. it was a really great evening over all. absolutely great to hang out with my lovely husband uninterrupted. i forgot how much i really love hanging out with him- jackass and all.

we were planning on sleeping in but the biological alarm clocks would not allow. so we lazed and loafed a bit and were out by 10:30. breakfast was iffy but the coffe on the way out of toen made up for it. it was from the water street coffee across form bells brewery. i wish we had breakfast there. the ride home was fun. i did a postpartum visit at the hospital while big daddy read in the lobby. and home we went.

we got the kids new webkinz which they were totally geeked over- the monkey really wanted the platypus looking one and pouted about it when we went to frankenmuth a couple of weeks ago. and my mom wanted the house rearranged for the BIG thanksgiving dinner (of which i still need to buy a lot of stuff for the 100 mile local thanksgiving) so we whipped that up (it looks great actually and there is room for the free stand up piano i am looking for) and were off to friends house for dinner. bi-bim-bop. it was wonderful company and homemade bi-bim-bop cannot be beat. btw i think big daddy has found his long lost brother in jackasshood. it is heeeelarious.

after that i dropped the kiddos at home and was off to practice the songe i am to sing at my grandfather memorial on wednesday. i didnt even know the song until tonight. that was causing some stress but now i feel a little better. i just hope i dont get all sappy and cry or get shaky voice from nerves. that would suck.

this week is going to be strange and very busy. i will be happy to have it behind me. then i have to bust out these two projects and i will be golden. it kind of sucks that i have to have a close cut deadline to get anything done.

ps- thanks to those who checked in on me this weekend and sent happy thoughts. that makes a gal happy. ;)

btw. i totally want to move to k-zoo.

dolmas...

who knew they were so yummy???

a2 coop much better than ypsi coop unfortunately. i see an over indulgence in my future.

hmmmm.

why do they call them "grave blankets" and "grave pillows"?

and

doesn't one have better things to spend $100 on?

mental floss

i have two big projects due before christmas. that being so my mind starts to wander and procrastinate. here is where i go in that noggin of mine-

-i want to go get a masters in bioethics at MSU with intention to move on to a Phd to work towards ethical regulation of homebirth midwifery.... or something like that.

-i want to buy my ever coveted jewelers bench and fill my tanks to make jewelry again

-i want to quit all my jobs and be a stay home mom only

-i want to be a midwife assistant and maybe a midwife when my kids are older

-i want to travel teaching doula trainings

-i want to go get my masters in jewelry

-i want to live a while year on completely local and seasonal food.

-i want to raise goats

-i want to live in a yurt

-i want to interview senior citizen women and collect their birth stories

-i want to travel

-i want to be super mom

-i am very happy with my amazing family

-i am so happy my marriage is getting better every day

-i am happy with the work i do

what the ferg?

the kids are running around playing crazy
the bean had a baby doll in her shirt saying she she had a baby in her belly.
the bean says the baby is coming the baby is coming
the monkey says hurry you need to get to surgery
......... what the f*** is that?

i step in of course with a look of horror on my face i am sure. the monkey replies "what? babies all are born in the hospital?" again - wtf?! i proceeded to inform him that his sister was born at home adn he was there (he knows this we talk about sometimes) the conversation went on but dribbled out. it is not that i dont want the kids to know that babies are born through surgery at times but as a default for "birth play", nuh-uh. i am over reacting i know and i am ok with that.