i remember when i went on my first outing alone after the monkey was born- it was to target for an hour. i remember walking aimlessly through the isles seeing the world through a new lens. in my head i could not stop thinking "dont these people understand i just brought forth life through my body" "all these people were once little nuggets like mine at home" "life is fucking insane".
tonight, halloween, i was teaching and could not get it out of my head "these folks dont know i just watched my grandfather die" "life is so simple if you stop trying so hard" "yall are going to die someday". it seems another lens has been added to my collection.
then the entire drive home i was thinking about my grandfather and what he looked like after he died. he was semi reclined, his head tilted to the right, eyes closed and mouth open. my step mother was very bothered that we did not close his mouth but i know if i tried to close it i would obsess about keeping it closed and the position he was in i didnt think it would stay closed until rigamortis started to set in. it reminded me of the many holocaust photos i have seen of the dead. i could not help but picture myself in that position- dead that is. the color draining from my face, skin getting slack and droopy, mouth open, eyes closed just sitting there- dead.
I just want to talk about these things. birth life death. it is all so very weird.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
There once was a mother
about a week ago i was riding my bike with the kids in the neighborhood. being that it is october folks has their decorations out. one house had fake tombstones and one was of an "unknown soul" 1821-1865. i could not but let my mind wander to the "unknown souls". although i was very aware that this was a fake tombstone i am also very aware there are people who pass unknown or unnoticed. with that my mind goes back to the beginning of these "unknown souls" and i end up with - there once was a mother who gave birth. whether or not that mother ended up mothering the child or passing it on for another to mother or father- for that time she was the mother.
the "unknown soul" was once housed in its mothers belly living inches from her heart. that "unknown soul" came from the mothers body into this world. there once was a mother.
today i am thinking of my grandfathers body at the crematorium. the body created in my great grandmothers womb and presented to the world through her body today will be a pile of ashes.
life and death are funny little things. why do we make it so complicated? it seems to me it should be much simpler.
the "unknown soul" was once housed in its mothers belly living inches from her heart. that "unknown soul" came from the mothers body into this world. there once was a mother.
today i am thinking of my grandfathers body at the crematorium. the body created in my great grandmothers womb and presented to the world through her body today will be a pile of ashes.
life and death are funny little things. why do we make it so complicated? it seems to me it should be much simpler.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Death is so interesting
tonight i watched my grandfather die.
early this morning he had a heart attack and was dnr but the ems missed it. so he ended up on a ventilator until hospice could be processed hours later. when i got there he was doped out on morphine he had awoke earlier that afternoon/late morning for about 20 mins. freaked out that he was in the hospital with a tube down his throat (the one thing he did not want after his year of issues and close calls back in 2004). my grandmother, dad, step mom, aunt and uncle were there when i arrived. a bit later my sister in law showed up (my brother is in spain) after a bit they all left to eat and get a bit of rest but my sister in law and myself stayed. after an hour or so of my sister in law rambling on about herself and her new house and .... anyway his lungs stopped and all his organs shut down. i saw it happening as she was talking i stood up she stopped he died.
everyone arrived back to the room about 20 minutes later. it was interesting to be in that room for that 20 minutes with his body. still, slowly changing color from tan and pink to pale yellow. he looked heavy not really sleeping but waiting for him to startle or gasp. he was still warm but over time his ears got cold. he had the softest hair. i knew he was not there but i wanted to touch him and console him as if he were. maybe i thought of it as if it were a channel to wherever he had gone.
when everyone did return- my grandmother was relieved it was over and a peaceful passing for him. and my dad and aunt cope as they do best by talking and planning... for the next tow hours. they did end up kicking up out of the room before he started to funk.
i realize i am much better witnessing death than thinking about it.
when i did get upset it was most always when thinking about my grandmother. her living on without him. her having this suffering with my grandfather over the past few years with his poor health. her having to watch him die. most all of these were way too close with my fear of losing my husband and best friend, be it now or when we are 90.
i have fought really allowing myself to be really close to my husband (ie. me pushing him away, being a bitch etc.) for years and only recently have i really given into the vulnerability of truly allowing myself to love him. it has been hard and scary. if i held him (or anyone really ) at arms length when they die my rational was that it would be easier. stupid rational - i know. now i love him with all my heart without reservation and have panic attacks about him having a heart attack or some other demise almost weekly.
now at least i can think of my grandmother if one day i have to wake up knowing the love of my life is gone. i will not be alone and i will be so blessed for having him for the time i did.
death is so interesting.
early this morning he had a heart attack and was dnr but the ems missed it. so he ended up on a ventilator until hospice could be processed hours later. when i got there he was doped out on morphine he had awoke earlier that afternoon/late morning for about 20 mins. freaked out that he was in the hospital with a tube down his throat (the one thing he did not want after his year of issues and close calls back in 2004). my grandmother, dad, step mom, aunt and uncle were there when i arrived. a bit later my sister in law showed up (my brother is in spain) after a bit they all left to eat and get a bit of rest but my sister in law and myself stayed. after an hour or so of my sister in law rambling on about herself and her new house and .... anyway his lungs stopped and all his organs shut down. i saw it happening as she was talking i stood up she stopped he died.
everyone arrived back to the room about 20 minutes later. it was interesting to be in that room for that 20 minutes with his body. still, slowly changing color from tan and pink to pale yellow. he looked heavy not really sleeping but waiting for him to startle or gasp. he was still warm but over time his ears got cold. he had the softest hair. i knew he was not there but i wanted to touch him and console him as if he were. maybe i thought of it as if it were a channel to wherever he had gone.
when everyone did return- my grandmother was relieved it was over and a peaceful passing for him. and my dad and aunt cope as they do best by talking and planning... for the next tow hours. they did end up kicking up out of the room before he started to funk.
i realize i am much better witnessing death than thinking about it.
when i did get upset it was most always when thinking about my grandmother. her living on without him. her having this suffering with my grandfather over the past few years with his poor health. her having to watch him die. most all of these were way too close with my fear of losing my husband and best friend, be it now or when we are 90.
i have fought really allowing myself to be really close to my husband (ie. me pushing him away, being a bitch etc.) for years and only recently have i really given into the vulnerability of truly allowing myself to love him. it has been hard and scary. if i held him (or anyone really ) at arms length when they die my rational was that it would be easier. stupid rational - i know. now i love him with all my heart without reservation and have panic attacks about him having a heart attack or some other demise almost weekly.
now at least i can think of my grandmother if one day i have to wake up knowing the love of my life is gone. i will not be alone and i will be so blessed for having him for the time i did.
death is so interesting.
Sunday, October 28, 2007
good music and good company
friday was an unexpected outing to go hear some great music. especially a local little lady (amy morgan) who was unfortunately under the weather but she still played the piano and guitar beautifully. john latini was great and the company was good.
i dont think i have ever been to the tap room annex before. 13 years i have lived here and it is nice to discover new things.
makes me want to sing :)
i dont think i have ever been to the tap room annex before. 13 years i have lived here and it is nice to discover new things.
makes me want to sing :)
Friday, October 26, 2007
Female Prostate
Read here
I found this interesting (among other things)
""The first person known to have described the "female prostate" in Western medical literature was Reinier De Graaf (1641-1673) in the year 1672. He described it as a collection of functional glands and ducts surrounding the female urethra. He said the glands and ducts produced a "pituitoserous juice;" meaning it produces a thick mucous that is pale yellow or transparent in color. He said the function of this fluid was to make "women more libidinous with its pungency and saltiness and lubricates their sexual parts in agreeable fashion during coitus." Despite his observation modern Western medicine did not fully accept the concept of a "female prostate" until 2001 when the Federative Committee on Anatomical Terminology agreed to use this term in their next edition of Histology Terminology."
I found this interesting (among other things)
""The first person known to have described the "female prostate" in Western medical literature was Reinier De Graaf (1641-1673) in the year 1672. He described it as a collection of functional glands and ducts surrounding the female urethra. He said the glands and ducts produced a "pituitoserous juice;" meaning it produces a thick mucous that is pale yellow or transparent in color. He said the function of this fluid was to make "women more libidinous with its pungency and saltiness and lubricates their sexual parts in agreeable fashion during coitus." Despite his observation modern Western medicine did not fully accept the concept of a "female prostate" until 2001 when the Federative Committee on Anatomical Terminology agreed to use this term in their next edition of Histology Terminology."
Thursday, October 25, 2007
K-I-S-S-I-N-G
wtf? my son is 6 and the neighbor girl is putting the moves on him in their garage. the monkey told me
she said:
"are you thinking what i am thinking?" (as she walked into the garage)
he said:
"uh..... sure."
then she kisses him on the lips. and he said he freaked out and ran home.
this was a few weeks ago i guess. then today we had a play date and the monkey kissed his play friend (a girl) good bye on the lips as she was leaving. seeing this i was compelled to ask if that was his first kiss. he replied no and told me of the incident above. then asked if that was the first time he kissed his play friend today. he replied no he kissed her earlier int he day while they were hiding from the bean in the shower stall. i asked who initiated it and he said he kissed her and she freaked out and ran out of the bathroom saying she had to go to the bathroom.
we talked and i think i handled it pretty well. we did lay down the guidelines that you have to ask someone if you can kiss them before you lay a wet one on them. the whole conversation i must say was really adorable. he blushed and had a cute little embarrassed but proud smile.
now if my neighbors could curb their daughters fast track ways (hannah montana style i can only assume by this said 6 year old girls obsession with the show, the music and anything hannah montana)
she said:
"are you thinking what i am thinking?" (as she walked into the garage)
he said:
"uh..... sure."
then she kisses him on the lips. and he said he freaked out and ran home.
this was a few weeks ago i guess. then today we had a play date and the monkey kissed his play friend (a girl) good bye on the lips as she was leaving. seeing this i was compelled to ask if that was his first kiss. he replied no and told me of the incident above. then asked if that was the first time he kissed his play friend today. he replied no he kissed her earlier int he day while they were hiding from the bean in the shower stall. i asked who initiated it and he said he kissed her and she freaked out and ran out of the bathroom saying she had to go to the bathroom.
we talked and i think i handled it pretty well. we did lay down the guidelines that you have to ask someone if you can kiss them before you lay a wet one on them. the whole conversation i must say was really adorable. he blushed and had a cute little embarrassed but proud smile.
now if my neighbors could curb their daughters fast track ways (hannah montana style i can only assume by this said 6 year old girls obsession with the show, the music and anything hannah montana)
Today is a new day. And that damn Ego.
I taught interventions in my childbirth ed. classes last night. It is a hard two and a half hours to see the light bulbs go off and the fear and shock grow on their faces like trapped animals. Luckily the next two weeks of class helps empower and relieve all that yucky stuff.
I would like to sit in on other childbirth ed. classes that cater to the epidural crowd. What do they teach? Or are they as honest as me but all the attending couples so stuck in fear they have their ear muffs on that they cannot even hear the alternative of trying to do it without getting hte epidural in the parking lot.
So, I have been having my ego struggle lately. The problem with having midwives as friends is the ever feeling not cool enough. The "I'm just a childbirth educator" or "I am just a doula". Intellectually I know that what I do is very important. I fill a huge gap that our culture has in the reproductive years. I love thinking about it and with the kid of work I do I can reach a lot of people and get them to look at things different so maybe they will hire a doula or have a midwife attended birth at the hospital or at home for their normal healthy pregnancy. Giving them confidence in their bodies and their ability to get through birth. BUT my ego sneaks in and whispers "but your not a midwife." Damn you little monster in my head. Intellectually I know I do not want to be a midwife right now and honestly I do not know what the future will hold for me. My husband is working full time and in school full time (so freaking cool! and i am so proud of him). I do want to stay home and homeschool my kids for now (although many think i am crazy). My "career" can come later (whatever that may be) and I am ok with that but that damn ego. Maybe my path is to train women to be doulas, or get into academics, or to follow my husband all over the world while he studies rare new species.
Honestly I was looking at jewelers benches on line last night. I will stay in birth work but I want balance back. For balance I need
time. I want to play with fire and metal and create again.
Right now I just need some Daily Affirmations with Stuart Smiley.
I would like to sit in on other childbirth ed. classes that cater to the epidural crowd. What do they teach? Or are they as honest as me but all the attending couples so stuck in fear they have their ear muffs on that they cannot even hear the alternative of trying to do it without getting hte epidural in the parking lot.
So, I have been having my ego struggle lately. The problem with having midwives as friends is the ever feeling not cool enough. The "I'm just a childbirth educator" or "I am just a doula". Intellectually I know that what I do is very important. I fill a huge gap that our culture has in the reproductive years. I love thinking about it and with the kid of work I do I can reach a lot of people and get them to look at things different so maybe they will hire a doula or have a midwife attended birth at the hospital or at home for their normal healthy pregnancy. Giving them confidence in their bodies and their ability to get through birth. BUT my ego sneaks in and whispers "but your not a midwife." Damn you little monster in my head. Intellectually I know I do not want to be a midwife right now and honestly I do not know what the future will hold for me. My husband is working full time and in school full time (so freaking cool! and i am so proud of him). I do want to stay home and homeschool my kids for now (although many think i am crazy). My "career" can come later (whatever that may be) and I am ok with that but that damn ego. Maybe my path is to train women to be doulas, or get into academics, or to follow my husband all over the world while he studies rare new species.
Honestly I was looking at jewelers benches on line last night. I will stay in birth work but I want balance back. For balance I need
time. I want to play with fire and metal and create again.Right now I just need some Daily Affirmations with Stuart Smiley.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Some thoughts on Doulas
with in an hour it went to a marginally poopy day to a great day.
i woke up really annoyed with how some folks are talking about my profession as a doula (as it was described in the book Pushed). not that i do not agree with them on a whole that doulas could be supporting women in some really medically over managed births and trying to make it into a good experience when they otherwise may see it as something that was not the way it should have gone - sugar coating the experience it has been said. i think it is not the fact that we are in there i think it is that most doulas dont really get in there and be there more hands on when it can make a difference. especially in the past year i find that if you are more respectfully active as a doula the mother gets left alone more and the nurses back off a bit or getting creative with the bumps that come your way like constant fetal monitoring.
i was at a birth that after i left the nurse told the couple that i was so hand on and present for the mother where most doulas she worked with sat in the chair and knit or read a book while the mom was in the tub, just chillin or doing her thing. i take a book or knitting but i find i rarely get to pick it up and if i do it is never in the room with the mom. it is different to attend a mother in the hospital than in their home. in the hospital if a mom is in the tub i am kneeling on the floor just being there with her if that is what she wants (sometimes the mom likes alone time or just time with her partner in there) if mom is in the bed chillin' i may not say anything or do anything special but my attention is still on her and she can tell the difference. in the home it is her space and she may want you with her or not but there is more flexibility because she is in her space and usually does not feel she needs to be anchored or protected from anything. and it is hard for me to attend a homebirth and a hospital birth back to back because there is a huge difference.
i think a lot of doulas do this work so part time it is hard to feel a sense of authority or be able to have a strong presence in the hospital. many are just intimidated. i have seen some messed up stuff and in postpartum visits sometimes light bulbs start going off but sometimes it does not happen until a year or more later.
i am just getting so peeved at the are doulas good or bad debate. WOMEN ARE TALKING ABOUT THEIR EXPERIENCES LIKE THEY DID NOT BEFORE. there may not be the direct change that some may want but there is change occuring. a recent client of mine had her mother come into town and was so happy that her daughter had her baby in a room of women and supported. to this line of women this was a huge improvement from the grandmothers birth in the 70's where she was alone, shaved, enema, in stirrups surrounded with strange men.
ok, i am getting more into this than i meant to right now. the c-section rate and birth in general is complicated. it is a social/cultural issue, an business issue (insurance and hospitals), and education issue. i believe in what i do and how i do it and i hear what folks are saying but i think they are being very short sighted and shallow thinking.
BUT THE FLIP SIDE OF MY MORNING: last night i got a facebook friend request from a friend in australia that i havent talked to or been able to get a hold of in three years. that made my morning and my bitchy mood has been defused. thank you.
i woke up really annoyed with how some folks are talking about my profession as a doula (as it was described in the book Pushed). not that i do not agree with them on a whole that doulas could be supporting women in some really medically over managed births and trying to make it into a good experience when they otherwise may see it as something that was not the way it should have gone - sugar coating the experience it has been said. i think it is not the fact that we are in there i think it is that most doulas dont really get in there and be there more hands on when it can make a difference. especially in the past year i find that if you are more respectfully active as a doula the mother gets left alone more and the nurses back off a bit or getting creative with the bumps that come your way like constant fetal monitoring.
i was at a birth that after i left the nurse told the couple that i was so hand on and present for the mother where most doulas she worked with sat in the chair and knit or read a book while the mom was in the tub, just chillin or doing her thing. i take a book or knitting but i find i rarely get to pick it up and if i do it is never in the room with the mom. it is different to attend a mother in the hospital than in their home. in the hospital if a mom is in the tub i am kneeling on the floor just being there with her if that is what she wants (sometimes the mom likes alone time or just time with her partner in there) if mom is in the bed chillin' i may not say anything or do anything special but my attention is still on her and she can tell the difference. in the home it is her space and she may want you with her or not but there is more flexibility because she is in her space and usually does not feel she needs to be anchored or protected from anything. and it is hard for me to attend a homebirth and a hospital birth back to back because there is a huge difference.
i think a lot of doulas do this work so part time it is hard to feel a sense of authority or be able to have a strong presence in the hospital. many are just intimidated. i have seen some messed up stuff and in postpartum visits sometimes light bulbs start going off but sometimes it does not happen until a year or more later.
i am just getting so peeved at the are doulas good or bad debate. WOMEN ARE TALKING ABOUT THEIR EXPERIENCES LIKE THEY DID NOT BEFORE. there may not be the direct change that some may want but there is change occuring. a recent client of mine had her mother come into town and was so happy that her daughter had her baby in a room of women and supported. to this line of women this was a huge improvement from the grandmothers birth in the 70's where she was alone, shaved, enema, in stirrups surrounded with strange men.
ok, i am getting more into this than i meant to right now. the c-section rate and birth in general is complicated. it is a social/cultural issue, an business issue (insurance and hospitals), and education issue. i believe in what i do and how i do it and i hear what folks are saying but i think they are being very short sighted and shallow thinking.
BUT THE FLIP SIDE OF MY MORNING: last night i got a facebook friend request from a friend in australia that i havent talked to or been able to get a hold of in three years. that made my morning and my bitchy mood has been defused. thank you.
Monday, October 22, 2007
PPPSSSSHHHHHHHHHHH...
do you hear that? it is me decompressing.
oh my goodness i have been wound so tight the past few weeks the littlest thing could throw me into tears or rage. yesterday big daddy took the monkeys to the in-laws for the day and i got to work on my much overdue project. after a surprisingly easy time at my project i popped up to the corner brew early for the book meeting and found some other friends there. a few beers later i cut myself off and moved to coca-cola.
honestly i cannot remember the last time i had a day off from the kids (not including births). it has pretty much been full on since at least spring. not good.
funny thing is that i was on the phone two days ago counseling a new mom about taking care of herself so she can take care of her family. as the words came out of my mouth i was kicking myself in my head - why is it so hard to take care of ourselves, to ask for what we need or just to ask for help (i am terrible at that last one).
i actually feel like i can deal with the world today. thanks big daddy.
oh my goodness i have been wound so tight the past few weeks the littlest thing could throw me into tears or rage. yesterday big daddy took the monkeys to the in-laws for the day and i got to work on my much overdue project. after a surprisingly easy time at my project i popped up to the corner brew early for the book meeting and found some other friends there. a few beers later i cut myself off and moved to coca-cola.
honestly i cannot remember the last time i had a day off from the kids (not including births). it has pretty much been full on since at least spring. not good.
funny thing is that i was on the phone two days ago counseling a new mom about taking care of herself so she can take care of her family. as the words came out of my mouth i was kicking myself in my head - why is it so hard to take care of ourselves, to ask for what we need or just to ask for help (i am terrible at that last one).
i actually feel like i can deal with the world today. thanks big daddy.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
why?
why does a baby decide to be born from a perfectly healthy mother at 33 weeks? i long to understand the man behind the curtain.
the other day...i met a bear.
the other day the monkey asked me what a monk was. i answered as best i could including different religions which led to talking about different peoples beliefs. after awhile i shared that i believed that Jesus was a really great man. the monkey replied "yeah, i believe in Jesus........ and faeries, gnomes and sprites." i said "me too."
Monday, October 08, 2007
summer in october
bills. ACK! had a wee bit of a freak out last night that ended up in an ok situation but a swift kick in the ass on order in chaos.
this past year i have felt like i have been running like mad to catch up with my life. everything happened so quickly. and the order in my life that i love so much and makes me feel safe fell into a pile on the floor along with my laundry. waiting and almost begging for me to give it some attention.
i try to set boundaries like - no working on sundays. then i get a call from a nice pregnant lady explaining how sunday is the only day she can get a massage....so i bend my life to accommodate. it does not sound like a big deal but if one does this enough then they are working every day even if just for a little bit. it is not good when it takes a lot to let go and focus on hanging out with the family.
on another note we, as an entire family went hiking in the crazy hot october weather, at leslie science center. big daddy caught a snake and the monkey found two. the pond was dried up but we found bugs. it was so nice to hang out as a whole family. it is too rare. i wish i took the camera because we would have gotten some great photos of our hot ass selves. ;)
off to the lake with the kids since it is supposed to be 90 degrees today. wow!
this past year i have felt like i have been running like mad to catch up with my life. everything happened so quickly. and the order in my life that i love so much and makes me feel safe fell into a pile on the floor along with my laundry. waiting and almost begging for me to give it some attention.
i try to set boundaries like - no working on sundays. then i get a call from a nice pregnant lady explaining how sunday is the only day she can get a massage....so i bend my life to accommodate. it does not sound like a big deal but if one does this enough then they are working every day even if just for a little bit. it is not good when it takes a lot to let go and focus on hanging out with the family.
on another note we, as an entire family went hiking in the crazy hot october weather, at leslie science center. big daddy caught a snake and the monkey found two. the pond was dried up but we found bugs. it was so nice to hang out as a whole family. it is too rare. i wish i took the camera because we would have gotten some great photos of our hot ass selves. ;)
off to the lake with the kids since it is supposed to be 90 degrees today. wow!
Monday, October 01, 2007
babies, dragon boats and water heaters
how can so much happen in such a short period of time?
well for us that is. we are homebodies at heart and although we are productive we are not the jet set types. (i love to call our new neighbors the jet setters- they are wonderful busy over acheiver types that make me feel like i am moving in slow motion).
the second time mom i was waiting on had her baby friday night it was a quick birth which balanced out the long birth from last week. i had a strong feeling that this would be a quick one. all went beautiful with a 10lb 12oz bouncing baby boy in the end. she was amazing to watch. and her partner was wonderful too. it happened smack dab in the middle of the night. first call at 12:30am, called out at 1:30am baby born by 3:30 am home by 6:30 am and making pancakes for the kids by 8:30 am.
big daddy had school that day so i trucked the kids to a2 for the red tent event which was fun. the kids entertained themselves with crafts, food, and puppet shows. i talked to some great ladies and got invited to a retreat at the beginning of november to scope out an organization i have been asked to be on the board of. i am planning on joining the board but i love retreats with ropes courses and fun as hell women to boot.
after that we went to the fallapalooza in depot town. it was fun. we stopped by the five and dime to get a magnet claendar so the monkey can start learning the months and days. i have wanted one for a few years but have been to cheap to buy one. i splurged. it helps that i found out i will be getting paid to teach this fall. i was not counting on that. yay! we are still waiting on the retro pell grant check but that is another post.
saturday night i took big daddy on a date to see the movie "birth as business"- yes that was a date ;) i wrote about it in the last post so i will not detail about it. but it did open some really nice conversation between big daddy and i about our birth experiences. it was good.
sunday i had a massage at 9am that i forgot to cancel. i was really tired at that point. the day after effect. the kids and i went to serviec at 11:30am there is a new guy who i love. very inspirational talked about anti religous/spiritual extremeism. very fitting for where my head was. talking about inclucivity and the like. the bean loved it. her first time in the preschool room.
then we went to the dragon boat festival . the bean was tired. it was interesting but they started closing down about two hours before advertised. we waited in line for face paining for 1/2 hour for them to tell us they were shutting down. so we stopped off at the haloween store to get face paints that we did today.
AND last but not least late last night the water heater pooped out. and tomorrow and $700 later we will have hot water again. yay! ha.
off to eat.... good day.
well for us that is. we are homebodies at heart and although we are productive we are not the jet set types. (i love to call our new neighbors the jet setters- they are wonderful busy over acheiver types that make me feel like i am moving in slow motion).
the second time mom i was waiting on had her baby friday night it was a quick birth which balanced out the long birth from last week. i had a strong feeling that this would be a quick one. all went beautiful with a 10lb 12oz bouncing baby boy in the end. she was amazing to watch. and her partner was wonderful too. it happened smack dab in the middle of the night. first call at 12:30am, called out at 1:30am baby born by 3:30 am home by 6:30 am and making pancakes for the kids by 8:30 am.
big daddy had school that day so i trucked the kids to a2 for the red tent event which was fun. the kids entertained themselves with crafts, food, and puppet shows. i talked to some great ladies and got invited to a retreat at the beginning of november to scope out an organization i have been asked to be on the board of. i am planning on joining the board but i love retreats with ropes courses and fun as hell women to boot.
after that we went to the fallapalooza in depot town. it was fun. we stopped by the five and dime to get a magnet claendar so the monkey can start learning the months and days. i have wanted one for a few years but have been to cheap to buy one. i splurged. it helps that i found out i will be getting paid to teach this fall. i was not counting on that. yay! we are still waiting on the retro pell grant check but that is another post.
saturday night i took big daddy on a date to see the movie "birth as business"- yes that was a date ;) i wrote about it in the last post so i will not detail about it. but it did open some really nice conversation between big daddy and i about our birth experiences. it was good.
sunday i had a massage at 9am that i forgot to cancel. i was really tired at that point. the day after effect. the kids and i went to serviec at 11:30am there is a new guy who i love. very inspirational talked about anti religous/spiritual extremeism. very fitting for where my head was. talking about inclucivity and the like. the bean loved it. her first time in the preschool room.
then we went to the dragon boat festival . the bean was tired. it was interesting but they started closing down about two hours before advertised. we waited in line for face paining for 1/2 hour for them to tell us they were shutting down. so we stopped off at the haloween store to get face paints that we did today.
AND last but not least late last night the water heater pooped out. and tomorrow and $700 later we will have hot water again. yay! ha.
off to eat.... good day.
Saturday, September 29, 2007
a different shade of gray
after watching "the business of birth" and hearing an interesting panel of "experts" field questions and debate over the topic of birth in america, i am left with thoughts. i wanted to say something but my fear of public speaking and a quivering voice kept me from speaking up. i usually dont get stage fright especially when talking about birth but there was a fellow who was a medical bioethicist (whom i have heard about and is super cool in my book) who i just really didnt want to chance looking like a jack ass in front of. but anyway back to the brain dump.
they seemed to talk in circles about the same old shit dr's bad, natural birth good, system fucked, our country's maternal and infant mortality are awful, blah blah blah. i dotn mean to be flip but it just is like two dogs chasing after eachothers tails. so my thoughts were-
1. if most births are attended by ob's then why are obs not being trained in natural birth and the art of doing nothing? (i know there is a liability answer in there but they do lack training in normal birth and nutrition for optimal pregnancy)
2. what about continuity of care from pregnancy, birth to postpartum?
3. education of options of care providers and consumers alike?
4. what about creating community round tables on the topics in birth and cross profession peer reviews? (i know there are egos in the answers to this one)
5. what about depolarizing the issue and coming together without blame or fear of the other? the only way to change is to hear each other out WITH RESPECT even if we disagree.
the far left and the far right in any situation annoy the shit out of me regarding their inability to see the entire picture. there are many of us in the gray and if we were able to come together regularly WITH RESPECT maybe we could get somewhere.
they seemed to talk in circles about the same old shit dr's bad, natural birth good, system fucked, our country's maternal and infant mortality are awful, blah blah blah. i dotn mean to be flip but it just is like two dogs chasing after eachothers tails. so my thoughts were-
1. if most births are attended by ob's then why are obs not being trained in natural birth and the art of doing nothing? (i know there is a liability answer in there but they do lack training in normal birth and nutrition for optimal pregnancy)
2. what about continuity of care from pregnancy, birth to postpartum?
3. education of options of care providers and consumers alike?
4. what about creating community round tables on the topics in birth and cross profession peer reviews? (i know there are egos in the answers to this one)
5. what about depolarizing the issue and coming together without blame or fear of the other? the only way to change is to hear each other out WITH RESPECT even if we disagree.
the far left and the far right in any situation annoy the shit out of me regarding their inability to see the entire picture. there are many of us in the gray and if we were able to come together regularly WITH RESPECT maybe we could get somewhere.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
photo update
as summer comes to an end a photo update is in order. it was a crazy busy time and the fall is brining much fun with lots of hiking. so here we go...
First we begin with the sweater (this one is for you kim) who you ask knits a sweater in the middle of the summer? me. i did not think i would get it done so quickly. i was sure i would need at least three months for it but a couple weeks in all and it was done. the bean loves it and is very proud that it was made by me (gush) i also sewed her a funky purple fleece dress (no pics sorry)
next we have the blessingway to celebrate a friends getting her CPM as a midwife. a long path and a night of wine, food and the hat. most blessingways have wreaths of flowers but it just didnt seem to fit so we had a hat decorated with rubber cloves, lube, cord clamps and chicken bones among other things :)
the bean turned three this year! that is a big one in our house. yes she is pouting in this pic. but the monkey has his charm going. and she picked that fly outfit too, just one of many fashionable combos she has come up with. (and i love it!!!)
this is the matured pond. big daddy's project and it is beautiful. in it live fish and frog.... so cool.
strawberry ice cream and feet
the monkey's art show from his two week art and drama camp. they also wrote and put on a play at the end for the parents. it was awesome. i was very happy i found the camcorder charger for that. (its been lost for 2 years...whoops).
this is oen of the greatest (not kid related) things to happen this summer. we signed up for door to door organics. we get a once a week delivery of great organic food for a great price. it is like christmas every tuesday. it makes it so much easier to cook now since the produce dictates the menu. like we got artichokes- what does one do with artichokes for a meal? well, you boil them in water with salt and vinegar until tender and serve with crumbled feta with drizzled olive oil and oregano and bread with sliced plums for desert. YUM!
going on a neighborhood hike with one of our two new neighbor friends. we were gnome hunting.
the monkeys first day back at his homeschool art class they did self portraits. he said he had help with the nose but the rest was his. his wonderful talented 6 year old self!!! impressive.
our trip to three cedars farm. the tail-less cow.
this is why i kick kids out of my kitchen while i am using knives. it has healed nicely but i do miss that corner of my nail a bit.
our trip to the arb of a beautiful day. hiking down to the river climbing "cricket mountain" looking for gnomes and fairies trying to beat the "dark one" (the rain clouds) searching for the crystal palace while counting the messengers (the runners) and pointing out the old wise ones (the older folks who were walking). then we got in tht floater and drove home :)
this was at parker mill park. the bean was a bit grumpy and i was recovering from sleep deprivation but it was a great day for a hike.
we have started the fall with lot more hiking as you can tell. last night we had a lovely dinner party that lasted into the night. we are busy with school, work and hanging out. looking forward to chilling with friends and eating good food into the coming winter. I love fall!
First we begin with the sweater (this one is for you kim) who you ask knits a sweater in the middle of the summer? me. i did not think i would get it done so quickly. i was sure i would need at least three months for it but a couple weeks in all and it was done. the bean loves it and is very proud that it was made by me (gush) i also sewed her a funky purple fleece dress (no pics sorry)
next we have the blessingway to celebrate a friends getting her CPM as a midwife. a long path and a night of wine, food and the hat. most blessingways have wreaths of flowers but it just didnt seem to fit so we had a hat decorated with rubber cloves, lube, cord clamps and chicken bones among other things :)
the bean turned three this year! that is a big one in our house. yes she is pouting in this pic. but the monkey has his charm going. and she picked that fly outfit too, just one of many fashionable combos she has come up with. (and i love it!!!)
this is the matured pond. big daddy's project and it is beautiful. in it live fish and frog.... so cool.
strawberry ice cream and feet
the monkey's art show from his two week art and drama camp. they also wrote and put on a play at the end for the parents. it was awesome. i was very happy i found the camcorder charger for that. (its been lost for 2 years...whoops).
this is oen of the greatest (not kid related) things to happen this summer. we signed up for door to door organics. we get a once a week delivery of great organic food for a great price. it is like christmas every tuesday. it makes it so much easier to cook now since the produce dictates the menu. like we got artichokes- what does one do with artichokes for a meal? well, you boil them in water with salt and vinegar until tender and serve with crumbled feta with drizzled olive oil and oregano and bread with sliced plums for desert. YUM!
going on a neighborhood hike with one of our two new neighbor friends. we were gnome hunting.
the monkeys first day back at his homeschool art class they did self portraits. he said he had help with the nose but the rest was his. his wonderful talented 6 year old self!!! impressive.
our trip to three cedars farm. the tail-less cow.
this is why i kick kids out of my kitchen while i am using knives. it has healed nicely but i do miss that corner of my nail a bit.
our trip to the arb of a beautiful day. hiking down to the river climbing "cricket mountain" looking for gnomes and fairies trying to beat the "dark one" (the rain clouds) searching for the crystal palace while counting the messengers (the runners) and pointing out the old wise ones (the older folks who were walking). then we got in tht floater and drove home :)
this was at parker mill park. the bean was a bit grumpy and i was recovering from sleep deprivation but it was a great day for a hike.
we have started the fall with lot more hiking as you can tell. last night we had a lovely dinner party that lasted into the night. we are busy with school, work and hanging out. looking forward to chilling with friends and eating good food into the coming winter. I love fall!
Thursday, September 20, 2007
a long one
after two days with this adorable couple and a couple nights of sleep lost the wee nugget was born yesterday at 3:25pm. it was a long haul but lovely. i did so miss my family when i was gone that long. i had to give a talk at whole foods that night at 7:30pm-8:30pm about birth choices so i had big daddy have a movie night so the sweet monkeys would be awake when i got home. even though they were up later they were still bright eyed and bushy tailed at 7:30am.
childcare for this one was kind of tight. my good friend canceled her appointment the first day to watch my kids. i was so thankful. and the monkey got to see his friend he has not seen in a bit. although the bean tells me she is not really grooving with my friends 3 year old but i am sure she still had fun. the second day was a bit more tricky. i was able to come home for a couple of hours to let big daddy get to work early, get the kids up and dressed and orchestrate childcare for the day which was asking my good friend again to watch the kids before and after her classes with my new (but absolutely lovely with southern hospitality) neighbor (well actually my new neighbors absolutely lovely mother in law) watching them while my good friend was in class. i even called my dad the second day to see if he wanted to play hooky from work to watch the kids. surprisingly he was open to it so that was good news.
today is a lot of laundry and grocery shopping (we have had no groceries for 3 days-oops) and hanging with the kiddos.
working as a doula is an odd calling. we are inviting into one of the most intimate events of a womans and a couples life. there was one point where this mother was in the shower with her radio blaring her premade labor mix, her husband stood moaning fore head to forehead with her while also spraying her back with the removable shower head. the peace on her face and the strength he offered her was beautiful to see. this couple was so connected i teared up watching them. i was really there at times just as a witness to this amazing event.
the birth unit was really busy because of all those childless folks going out on new years and kickin' it with some baby makin'. for how busy it was the on call midwives called in back up for all three of the 12 hour shifts we were there for so we got to see quite a few faces, midwife faces that is. i think at one point they had 9 women in labor at the same time. insane.
hopefully i will have a photo update soon.
childcare for this one was kind of tight. my good friend canceled her appointment the first day to watch my kids. i was so thankful. and the monkey got to see his friend he has not seen in a bit. although the bean tells me she is not really grooving with my friends 3 year old but i am sure she still had fun. the second day was a bit more tricky. i was able to come home for a couple of hours to let big daddy get to work early, get the kids up and dressed and orchestrate childcare for the day which was asking my good friend again to watch the kids before and after her classes with my new (but absolutely lovely with southern hospitality) neighbor (well actually my new neighbors absolutely lovely mother in law) watching them while my good friend was in class. i even called my dad the second day to see if he wanted to play hooky from work to watch the kids. surprisingly he was open to it so that was good news.
today is a lot of laundry and grocery shopping (we have had no groceries for 3 days-oops) and hanging with the kiddos.
working as a doula is an odd calling. we are inviting into one of the most intimate events of a womans and a couples life. there was one point where this mother was in the shower with her radio blaring her premade labor mix, her husband stood moaning fore head to forehead with her while also spraying her back with the removable shower head. the peace on her face and the strength he offered her was beautiful to see. this couple was so connected i teared up watching them. i was really there at times just as a witness to this amazing event.
the birth unit was really busy because of all those childless folks going out on new years and kickin' it with some baby makin'. for how busy it was the on call midwives called in back up for all three of the 12 hour shifts we were there for so we got to see quite a few faces, midwife faces that is. i think at one point they had 9 women in labor at the same time. insane.
hopefully i will have a photo update soon.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
update from birthsitting
last night i was trying ot upload pictures that have been on my computer for most of the summer. i was going to have a photo update but that will have to wait because a baby is coming....although slowly.
a new year of homeschool this year and it is actually going well. the hardest part for me is to put it priority over someone wanting to stop by in the morning or jetting out for an errand. when we keep to the plan all is good and the kids love it. we have taken to schooling first thing in the morning. the monkey is doing awesome and the bean wants to do all that the monkey is doing so she has been given an old workbook of the monkeys to destroy.... oh, i mean work on. then most days we go for a hike in a park somewhere last week was an adventure in the arb and another day was a less than relaxing hike at the botanical gardens. we had dentist and other appointments that kept us from hikes the other days but it seems like it will be a good year for it. if i get really organized we will get into letterboxing. today was supposed ot be parker mill park but as i said a baby is a-comin'.
work has been on my mind although i have had a wee bit of a break. too much down time gets my mind a runnin'. many changes are occurring in all areas none of which i have control over all of which have impact on me. only time will show the outcome. i got some good news yesterday, well i guess it is just news but i see it as good news. of which i hope to be able to talk about soon. sorry to be vague. i sent out my ALACE certification exam request and i have to write a 50-80 page outline for DONA asap. i am pretty unmotivated for both but know i need to have them behind me and the only way in through.
i got a cherry deal on birth books, a fetoscope, bp cuff, stethoscope, and some other goodies for a birth bag form a lovely friend yesterday. it was also a great morning for more than the booty.
the lovely couple has just gotten back from their walk so i am going to sign ff for now. I hope to update soon with some great photos of the family and out hikes last week.
a new year of homeschool this year and it is actually going well. the hardest part for me is to put it priority over someone wanting to stop by in the morning or jetting out for an errand. when we keep to the plan all is good and the kids love it. we have taken to schooling first thing in the morning. the monkey is doing awesome and the bean wants to do all that the monkey is doing so she has been given an old workbook of the monkeys to destroy.... oh, i mean work on. then most days we go for a hike in a park somewhere last week was an adventure in the arb and another day was a less than relaxing hike at the botanical gardens. we had dentist and other appointments that kept us from hikes the other days but it seems like it will be a good year for it. if i get really organized we will get into letterboxing. today was supposed ot be parker mill park but as i said a baby is a-comin'.
work has been on my mind although i have had a wee bit of a break. too much down time gets my mind a runnin'. many changes are occurring in all areas none of which i have control over all of which have impact on me. only time will show the outcome. i got some good news yesterday, well i guess it is just news but i see it as good news. of which i hope to be able to talk about soon. sorry to be vague. i sent out my ALACE certification exam request and i have to write a 50-80 page outline for DONA asap. i am pretty unmotivated for both but know i need to have them behind me and the only way in through.
i got a cherry deal on birth books, a fetoscope, bp cuff, stethoscope, and some other goodies for a birth bag form a lovely friend yesterday. it was also a great morning for more than the booty.
the lovely couple has just gotten back from their walk so i am going to sign ff for now. I hope to update soon with some great photos of the family and out hikes last week.
Monday, September 03, 2007
finally getting around to posting this here
August 13, 2007 - Monday
 | stop this train, i wnat to get off and go home again it is one of those times. feeling a bit thin skinned. an idiot and an impostor as the routine settles in again and the normal speed of our busy lives picks up. i want to get off. i liked it slow. i liked the break. |
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Male Doula
Another reason to absolutely LOVE Vince Vaughn!
"Talk about a guy who's money, Universal is all over Vince Vaughn following the success of The Break-Up ($205 million worldwide), and has decided to nail him down to a two-year, first-look producing deal with the studio. Vaughn helped produce The Break-Up, as well as brought Uni the idea for it, and so they feel there's a lot more where that came from. In fact, Vaughn's Wild West Picture Show Prods. has already lined up three features with the studio; all of which are potential starring vehicles for the actor. The first is a high-concept comedy called Male Doula. Based on Vaughn's own idea, the flick will be penned by Dana Fox. Since they're keeping this one under wraps, I decided to do a tad more investigating. What I found (via our sister site Parent Dish) was that a 'doula' is "someone who accompanies a woman in labor. She 'mothers the mother,' taking care of her emotional needs throughout childbirth." From what I've seen, a male doula is very rare, which immediately opens the subject up for tons of comedic potential."
link to whole article.
Professionally speaking this is good in my world. If it is not negative press it is good press! I dream of a day that any woman that wants or really needs a Doula but does not know it can have one or be hooked up with one.
I have picked up the book Born in the USA again and I am determined to truck through it now that Harry Potter is behind me. It gets my wheels spinning on the state of affairs in the birth world and where changes can be made for better outcomes that do not depend on the internal system. Doulas are a possible answer. Well trained, good hearted, positive, supportive doulas who love their work.
I have more to say but I feel like reading....
"Talk about a guy who's money, Universal is all over Vince Vaughn following the success of The Break-Up ($205 million worldwide), and has decided to nail him down to a two-year, first-look producing deal with the studio. Vaughn helped produce The Break-Up, as well as brought Uni the idea for it, and so they feel there's a lot more where that came from. In fact, Vaughn's Wild West Picture Show Prods. has already lined up three features with the studio; all of which are potential starring vehicles for the actor. The first is a high-concept comedy called Male Doula. Based on Vaughn's own idea, the flick will be penned by Dana Fox. Since they're keeping this one under wraps, I decided to do a tad more investigating. What I found (via our sister site Parent Dish) was that a 'doula' is "someone who accompanies a woman in labor. She 'mothers the mother,' taking care of her emotional needs throughout childbirth." From what I've seen, a male doula is very rare, which immediately opens the subject up for tons of comedic potential."
link to whole article.
Professionally speaking this is good in my world. If it is not negative press it is good press! I dream of a day that any woman that wants or really needs a Doula but does not know it can have one or be hooked up with one.
I have picked up the book Born in the USA again and I am determined to truck through it now that Harry Potter is behind me. It gets my wheels spinning on the state of affairs in the birth world and where changes can be made for better outcomes that do not depend on the internal system. Doulas are a possible answer. Well trained, good hearted, positive, supportive doulas who love their work.
I have more to say but I feel like reading....
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Baby!
Baby gecko that is. Big daddy is now the proud daddy to a two day old baby gargoyle gecko that he took care of as an egg that came from the two geckos kickin' it in the post a few weeks ago. YAY! after almost a decade of trying to make reptile babies we have one!!!!! If I ever get organized I will post a pic of his cuteness (the gecko not big daddy although both are worthy of the cuteness)
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
For Kim
At the farmers market there was this lady www.suchprettycolors.com
I thought of you. Especially the quilted stuff. And these other folks made really pretty little girls dresses and knitted the cutest hats.
I feel another package coming on. Been mentally making a cd for you ;)
I thought of you. Especially the quilted stuff. And these other folks made really pretty little girls dresses and knitted the cutest hats.
I feel another package coming on. Been mentally making a cd for you ;)
Cherries and Peaches
This summer has been a wee bit crazy and it seems like the past few days have been moving in slow motion. The bean and I had a lazy morning as we are on pick up patrol today rather than drop off. We eventually took a bath together- the bean got a big kick out of washing my hair and she loves the jet action in the tub. The bean and I went to the A2 farmers market for the first time of the season believe it or not. It was a short trip but very enjoyable. Wonderful peaches (of which i only buy at the farmers market in season- bit of a snob about peaches) and delicious clothe staining cherries. YUM! Great green beans that have been my raw crunchy snack since I got home and a few other goodies. In the non-edible world I got 4 perineals for the back yard for $20. I just need to remember to water them. Frog- feel free to be my reminder on that -ha!
Teaching newborn infant care tonight of which I always feel under qualified to teach. It all works out though and L will be there to fill in if there are gaps. Looking to show a video so I am off to dive into the closet of crap to find it and pre-screen.
Btw- Donn is officially done with school for 2 weeks. YAY!!!
And for those who live close to me I have 5 bags of clothes that will be going to purple heart on Friday if you want to go through them.
I think the bean is ready for the monkey to come home and so am I.
Teaching newborn infant care tonight of which I always feel under qualified to teach. It all works out though and L will be there to fill in if there are gaps. Looking to show a video so I am off to dive into the closet of crap to find it and pre-screen.
Btw- Donn is officially done with school for 2 weeks. YAY!!!
And for those who live close to me I have 5 bags of clothes that will be going to purple heart on Friday if you want to go through them.
I think the bean is ready for the monkey to come home and so am I.
Monday, August 06, 2007
Recovery
This weekend was like someone hit the fast forwards button. Here it is as it was:
Friday night I went up to read some HP. Mum comes up just before I was thinking of going to sleep and informs me that there is h2o in the basement again. I went down to check it out and try and help. Got on the phone with my heating and cooling friend (who put in the furnace and A/C on this house) and bribed him with sweet talking and a massage to come out from about an hour away to look at it for us in the morning. that night mum and I pulled up carpet, tried to dry it as much as possible but it was eventually time to just go to sleep. Mum had had a 80 hour week on about 3/4 hours sleep a night and she had to go in to work again Saturday morning. When it rains it pours. I felt really bad for her.
Saturday:
Woke up, made coffee, fed kids, showered, got a call from my doula client who was in early labor, buzzed around to get ready for my 10AM massage who showed up at 9:30AM. My heating & cooling friend showed just as she was getting off the table. He fixed the A/C as I was scheduling a meeting for 12:30pm for the last part of the dreaded (but really good fund raiser for the center) cookbook. Got my friend on the table and as soon as I finished with him my meeting showed up. Got another call form client- ditched my meeting at my house (they grabbed pics of my pooter for the project) and went to clients house. She was doing wonderful for a woman in labor. Jetted home after about 45 minutes to grab stuff for her and wrap up the meeting I was not at. Went back to client and labored with her at home and at the hospital until about 1:30 when baby was born (They did AWESOME!!! It was a beautiful birth.)
Sunday:
Baby born @ 1:30AM I leave 3:30AM. Two blocks from my bed in my house my phone rings. My other clients went into labor at about 1:30 AM. They were to get her in the tub to rest a bit. I went home emailed the center, at which I was to teach the next day, to inform her that I may not be there. (i really wanted to be there). Brush teeth go to hop in bed- Donn is in my spot, the bean is in his spot so I kick the dog out of her bed and sleep in the beans bed. The thought of the upcoming phone call made it difficult to fall asleep and just as I did at 5AM the phone rings. Off I go the birth. A bit hit at this moment. (All nighters are no big deal but back to back made the witching hour harder- the witching hour for me int his work is 4AM-7Am) Got to their house and they were doing great. In their groove and she was working hard. Labored at home with them and at the hospital and the baby arrived at noon. (another AWESOME BIRTH! )My class started at 1PM so I was doing good but I didn't have my car, it was at the clients house. So after all was done with the birth and the family was settled. A friend helped by picking me up and taking me to my car. Got to the center by 2:30-3ish (the class went until 5pm). we swapped out teachers and I was able to teach the last part of the class. Picked up chinese on the way home for the family and had a small going away party at our hose for our neighbors that are moving today. Put the kids to bed. Read the first chapter of the next Indian in the cupboard books and picked up my HP. Got though about a page before I passed out at 9:30pm.
It was all good and I have two births down for the month. I was not really sleepy except Sunday when I first got to my clients home. I don't know what it is about that time of day for my birth work but it is my down time. Both birth experiences with the midwives at the hospital were optimal. Really great. I am feeling good about things.
Also I am glad I made it to teaching. I am finally starting to get my groove. I got a great email from someone in my former classes- she wants to see me to see the baby and talk about the birth. She emphasized how she felt that the classes really made a difference to her. I love working with birth in this capacity.
The only bummer was that I did not get to hang out with the monkey this weekend. It feels like it has been forever since I have seen him between being out of town then him being in camp, which he has also this week. I miss the crazy monkey.
Also I remember how wonderful my husband is for when we get crazy days like these. He picks up the ball without flinching. He is awesome and always has been. And today is his last day of school for the semester!!! Two weeks off then back to the books but two weeks off! Maybe I will have a blip of off call time to get out of town with him for a night. I hope so.
Friday night I went up to read some HP. Mum comes up just before I was thinking of going to sleep and informs me that there is h2o in the basement again. I went down to check it out and try and help. Got on the phone with my heating and cooling friend (who put in the furnace and A/C on this house) and bribed him with sweet talking and a massage to come out from about an hour away to look at it for us in the morning. that night mum and I pulled up carpet, tried to dry it as much as possible but it was eventually time to just go to sleep. Mum had had a 80 hour week on about 3/4 hours sleep a night and she had to go in to work again Saturday morning. When it rains it pours. I felt really bad for her.
Saturday:
Woke up, made coffee, fed kids, showered, got a call from my doula client who was in early labor, buzzed around to get ready for my 10AM massage who showed up at 9:30AM. My heating & cooling friend showed just as she was getting off the table. He fixed the A/C as I was scheduling a meeting for 12:30pm for the last part of the dreaded (but really good fund raiser for the center) cookbook. Got my friend on the table and as soon as I finished with him my meeting showed up. Got another call form client- ditched my meeting at my house (they grabbed pics of my pooter for the project) and went to clients house. She was doing wonderful for a woman in labor. Jetted home after about 45 minutes to grab stuff for her and wrap up the meeting I was not at. Went back to client and labored with her at home and at the hospital until about 1:30 when baby was born (They did AWESOME!!! It was a beautiful birth.)
Sunday:
Baby born @ 1:30AM I leave 3:30AM. Two blocks from my bed in my house my phone rings. My other clients went into labor at about 1:30 AM. They were to get her in the tub to rest a bit. I went home emailed the center, at which I was to teach the next day, to inform her that I may not be there. (i really wanted to be there). Brush teeth go to hop in bed- Donn is in my spot, the bean is in his spot so I kick the dog out of her bed and sleep in the beans bed. The thought of the upcoming phone call made it difficult to fall asleep and just as I did at 5AM the phone rings. Off I go the birth. A bit hit at this moment. (All nighters are no big deal but back to back made the witching hour harder- the witching hour for me int his work is 4AM-7Am) Got to their house and they were doing great. In their groove and she was working hard. Labored at home with them and at the hospital and the baby arrived at noon. (another AWESOME BIRTH! )My class started at 1PM so I was doing good but I didn't have my car, it was at the clients house. So after all was done with the birth and the family was settled. A friend helped by picking me up and taking me to my car. Got to the center by 2:30-3ish (the class went until 5pm). we swapped out teachers and I was able to teach the last part of the class. Picked up chinese on the way home for the family and had a small going away party at our hose for our neighbors that are moving today. Put the kids to bed. Read the first chapter of the next Indian in the cupboard books and picked up my HP. Got though about a page before I passed out at 9:30pm.
It was all good and I have two births down for the month. I was not really sleepy except Sunday when I first got to my clients home. I don't know what it is about that time of day for my birth work but it is my down time. Both birth experiences with the midwives at the hospital were optimal. Really great. I am feeling good about things.
Also I am glad I made it to teaching. I am finally starting to get my groove. I got a great email from someone in my former classes- she wants to see me to see the baby and talk about the birth. She emphasized how she felt that the classes really made a difference to her. I love working with birth in this capacity.
The only bummer was that I did not get to hang out with the monkey this weekend. It feels like it has been forever since I have seen him between being out of town then him being in camp, which he has also this week. I miss the crazy monkey.
Also I remember how wonderful my husband is for when we get crazy days like these. He picks up the ball without flinching. He is awesome and always has been. And today is his last day of school for the semester!!! Two weeks off then back to the books but two weeks off! Maybe I will have a blip of off call time to get out of town with him for a night. I hope so.
Friday, August 03, 2007
Great News!!!
The Indian in the Cupboard is a series!!!
There are two stories that the monkey loves. He loved The book The Indian in the Cupboard and he loves the movie Jumanji. I got the picture book for Jumanji along with a few other books by Chris Van Allsburg from the library. Also got the next book in the Indian in the Cupboard series.
The monkey loved it so much that any book after was just not good enough. We tried reading Warriors, and Magyk- they just did not stack up to the Indian.
I am so excited I want to call the monkey at camp and tell him. whoohoo!!!
There are two stories that the monkey loves. He loved The book The Indian in the Cupboard and he loves the movie Jumanji. I got the picture book for Jumanji along with a few other books by Chris Van Allsburg from the library. Also got the next book in the Indian in the Cupboard series.
The monkey loved it so much that any book after was just not good enough. We tried reading Warriors, and Magyk- they just did not stack up to the Indian.
I am so excited I want to call the monkey at camp and tell him. whoohoo!!!
Another reason I homeschool...plastic baggies
The monkey has been in camp from 9-5 since Monday. It has been nice to have time alone with the bean although i have been sick as a dog and working every night.
It has been a real test thought, well maybe a trial, of what it would be like if the monkey were in school. I think I would hate it. As he is realizing how much he likes being home with me.
But the kicker is- I can not get these kids up and out of the house fed and ready to go on time to get to camp. When we were driving the teacher (because her car broke down) we of course were very early. But since she got her car back we have been 5-10 minutes late every day. It sucks having to be so functional every morning. lol.
Also the whole packed lunch thing makes me cuckoo. Kim sent me a link to the Laptop Lunches news letter which was perfect timing, she must have read my mind, because the number of plastic baggies i have used in the past week makes me uncomfortable. And trying to come up with variety for lunches that I pack after I get home from work at 10-11pm before I crash into bed just is not good. The little bugger also avoids eating any veggies I put in there....and he likes carrots. He did love the bean, salsa, avocado dip though. Ham sandwich ...not so much. So he has had a lot of sunflower butter and jelly sandwiches. Which on another off note makes me nervous him having so much gluten products with Celiac running in Donns family. Between eating a bfast bar in the car, sandwich cookies and crackers for lunch and who knows what for dinner. Most likely we are fine but I dread the idea of becoming a gluten free family. There was a scare there for a bit when Donn because allergic to eggs.
Most of all though I miss my monkey. He is crazy but that is what makes the days with him interesting. I think this is going to be a good year. I am going to try to do my own curriculum, using bit and pieces of things here and there. We will be using the book The Story of the World series starting this year. This link is also really helpful as to what I should be covering this year and resources for how to go about it. Donn is going to pick up some of the animal stuff with homeschooling at night while I am working. The bean is also old enough to work with us this year, last year was hard with her being two. Next year will be even better for her.
All in all this camp is great for a break from the monkey. For the monkey to get a break from us. But mostly to affirm that we really are doing what is right for us. It is not for everybody but we really like it and it works for our family. I am not saying it isn't insane and hard especially with Donn and I both working but it is where we want to be.
It has been a real test thought, well maybe a trial, of what it would be like if the monkey were in school. I think I would hate it. As he is realizing how much he likes being home with me.
But the kicker is- I can not get these kids up and out of the house fed and ready to go on time to get to camp. When we were driving the teacher (because her car broke down) we of course were very early. But since she got her car back we have been 5-10 minutes late every day. It sucks having to be so functional every morning. lol.
Also the whole packed lunch thing makes me cuckoo. Kim sent me a link to the Laptop Lunches news letter which was perfect timing, she must have read my mind, because the number of plastic baggies i have used in the past week makes me uncomfortable. And trying to come up with variety for lunches that I pack after I get home from work at 10-11pm before I crash into bed just is not good. The little bugger also avoids eating any veggies I put in there....and he likes carrots. He did love the bean, salsa, avocado dip though. Ham sandwich ...not so much. So he has had a lot of sunflower butter and jelly sandwiches. Which on another off note makes me nervous him having so much gluten products with Celiac running in Donns family. Between eating a bfast bar in the car, sandwich cookies and crackers for lunch and who knows what for dinner. Most likely we are fine but I dread the idea of becoming a gluten free family. There was a scare there for a bit when Donn because allergic to eggs.
Most of all though I miss my monkey. He is crazy but that is what makes the days with him interesting. I think this is going to be a good year. I am going to try to do my own curriculum, using bit and pieces of things here and there. We will be using the book The Story of the World series starting this year. This link is also really helpful as to what I should be covering this year and resources for how to go about it. Donn is going to pick up some of the animal stuff with homeschooling at night while I am working. The bean is also old enough to work with us this year, last year was hard with her being two. Next year will be even better for her.
All in all this camp is great for a break from the monkey. For the monkey to get a break from us. But mostly to affirm that we really are doing what is right for us. It is not for everybody but we really like it and it works for our family. I am not saying it isn't insane and hard especially with Donn and I both working but it is where we want to be.
Thursday, August 02, 2007
Recycling
I have always found great joy in recycling.
My new goal is to minimize the amount of non-recyclable trash. The Ann Arbor recycling center takes a few more items than our fair city. My approach is to set up different bins in the garage for everything from mixed paper- junk mail, used paper etc., Styrofoam- take away containers, packaging, etc., plastic bags (we have too many of those), corrugated cardboard, batteries, light bulbs, egg cartons, and so much more!
I would like to get down to one small bin of non-recyclable trash for our family of five per week.
We are also working towards converting all our house lighting to eco-friendly energy efficient light bulbs.
We are also going to be purchasing terra passes for our cars www.terrapass.com My car puts out over 18,000 lbs. of CO2 a year. Ouch!
Another small thing is taking the kids on garbage pick up walks. Thanks to our neighbor Michelle as inspiration.
I will post my progress on the garbage challenge.
My new goal is to minimize the amount of non-recyclable trash. The Ann Arbor recycling center takes a few more items than our fair city. My approach is to set up different bins in the garage for everything from mixed paper- junk mail, used paper etc., Styrofoam- take away containers, packaging, etc., plastic bags (we have too many of those), corrugated cardboard, batteries, light bulbs, egg cartons, and so much more!
I would like to get down to one small bin of non-recyclable trash for our family of five per week.
We are also working towards converting all our house lighting to eco-friendly energy efficient light bulbs.
We are also going to be purchasing terra passes for our cars www.terrapass.com My car puts out over 18,000 lbs. of CO2 a year. Ouch!
Another small thing is taking the kids on garbage pick up walks. Thanks to our neighbor Michelle as inspiration.
I will post my progress on the garbage challenge.
my trip
It has been a week since I got home from my trip and much has happened. So only now do I feel like writing.
When I got home it was like a whirlwind of activity. My mother in law had come down to help with the kids while I was gone. I got home Wednesday night and my father in law came out Thursday night to pick her up and to see the kids. They spent the night (Donn and I went to go see HP and the power went out right at the good part at the end) Friday morning we took the kids out to get toys a t the Five and Dime for their birthday's. The bean's birthday was that Friday and they were making up for missing the monkey's bday. My brother and his family came out Friday morning to spend the night so we could take them to the airport Saturday early afternoon- they were moving to Florida. That in itself is kind of weird. The build up to their departure was hard on my mom but now that it is behind up things seem to be mellowing out. My in laws, who are just great I must say, left Friday afternoon. That Sunday I taught from 1-5 then had a consult that evening. Then Monday morning the monkey started his 2 week art and drama camp. 9-5 M-F for 2 weeks. Crazy. Good to have time alone with the bean. She is napping all of a sudden. She needs the break.
Monday news came that a family friends daughter who has been fighting leukemia since January had passed. She was just a baby. They had taken her home for hospice care on Friday. It was very sad.
Tuesday and Wednesday I was really ill but still taught. I love Advil cold and sinus. Tuesday night was really bad- hardly got a wink of sleep. Wednesday the bean was kind of on her own and she did a job of trashing the family room :) but she let mama nap and take a long bath to try to get rid of the snots. Doing good now.
Went grocery shopping for the first time in a few weeks today. Cleaned out the fridge and the pantry (much needed) and the bean is napping.
So, the trip. The drive was long but nice. I only got kind of antsy since from Chicago to St. Louis there is A LOT of corn fields. I listened to Neil Gaiman's Anansi Boys on books on CD. I had two other books but the one got me down there and a third of the way back.
I was very excited to get to the hotel although it was very busy- two weddings, a hs reunion and a family reunion were going on. I was lucky enough to have my own room for the trip. I looked into room sharing but my only option was to share a 2 king room with 3 other women i did not know. The organization I work for paid for the room and the woman I work with said that she would not ask me to do anything she would not do and she would not share a room with 3 other women she did not know. It was really nice to have a room to myself. I had a wee anxiety attack the first hour or so being away form my family. But my dear lovely friend Chucki who lives in St. Louis invited me to come out and meet him and two friends he had in visiting from Chicago for sushi and wine. It was so good to see Chucki. I don't think I had seen him since the monkey was born. Chucki was the first friend to come over and meet the monkey- he brought me tapioca pudding that day ;). Chucki lives in the cutest neighborhood, the architecture was beautiful. My goal is to get the whole family down to visit him sometime soon. That was a highlight of the trip.
Sunday morning I slept in, took my time getting up and ready for the day. I went walking around looking for the conference- found it and decided to go back to my room to read a great book a good friend had sent me the week before I left- The Gypsy Chronicles. It turns out the author lives in my town. I read for a bit then ended up meditating for over an hour. I have not been able to do that in years. It was great to just let my mind go.
Sunday at 2pm the training began. It went until 9pm Sunday. Then Monday 8am to 9pm and Tuesday 8am to 9pm and Wednesday 8am to noon. Then home I drove again.
The training was good. It was the third time I have sat through a Doula training (part of the trainer training is to sit in on others teaching a doula training). This one was taught by Kathy McGrath and Penny Simkin (a big name in the birth world). Kathy has a background as a social worker so she crafted emotional work into the training that I thought was very interesting. Penny is in her late 60's I would say, short and very spunky. I learned a lot about my work and even more about myself on this trip. The second night I was really missing my family. Fortunately the training kept me busy.
Some of the emotional work that came with the training brought up some things that I was not aware of. Well, maybe I was but I did not understand how much it was weighing on me. One activity was to think of a time that you needed to ask for help then you had to tell it to the person you were paired up with. The training is mostly women and many of us had a hard time admitting when we needed help. It was a two way activity of understanding how difficult it is for some to ask for help then also of active listening. There were a few other activities of this sort that led up to an activity called the ideal birth. In this activity you draw or write what your ideal birth would be. Mine was to have Donn be the primary person with me and to have some good friends in the house with me. It was not traditional as most- others were more specific of type of care provider, h2o birth, whatever.
This activity hit a chord with me. Although the beans birth by all means was perfect, there were some missing points. One in particular is that I really wanted Donn to be with me- I never asked that of him because I thought he didn't want to be there. Now I know that he would have been there for me and been great if I just asked. But where we were at that time was not the best place for such communication. I really wanted him there for me. I didn't feel the support that I wanted in that pregnancy from those close to me. Even with my midwives I thought it was lacking. I remember my midwife complaining that she had a headache when she did the newborn exam. They were only there 3 hours. (i didn't call them until right before she came out) It really is true that moms remember little details from their births. It was mostly because I didn't ask for what I needed. I don't even know if I knew for sure what I wanted- but I think I just wanted to have it feel special. I was to busy being polite instead of asking for what I wanted.
I know I should be content that the birth was straight forward and the bean is fine. I do feel guilty about critiquing how it went and how I wish it could have been. It does lead to a bigger picture though. One thing is how I communicate with Donn- I think it really would have made a difference in many things if I just told him that I needed him and that I wanted him to be there for me. It makes me think about those close to me in the big picture and how these relationships function.
Another light bulb that went off on this trip is that I am by nature a pretty quiet person. In having kids I have forced myself to be more social and chatty- which makes me more crazy, hyper sensitive and anxious. I like things simple and slow. I like to be in my head. I told Donn about this when I got home and his response was equivalent to- DUH (he concurred that I changed in being a mother).
It was bizarre to be away from my family for that time. It was nice to put a wedge in running on auto pilot trend that I have been functioning in for way too long. It was wonderful to come home though. The drive home was long but good- going in the right direction. It gave me a great appreciation for the trees in Michigan. It also makes me want to move to the K-zoo area from mid state to the west side of the state. I have friends that are planning on moving to K-zoo, I would love to live near them.
Arthur is over and now the bean and I are going for a walk.
When I got home it was like a whirlwind of activity. My mother in law had come down to help with the kids while I was gone. I got home Wednesday night and my father in law came out Thursday night to pick her up and to see the kids. They spent the night (Donn and I went to go see HP and the power went out right at the good part at the end) Friday morning we took the kids out to get toys a t the Five and Dime for their birthday's. The bean's birthday was that Friday and they were making up for missing the monkey's bday. My brother and his family came out Friday morning to spend the night so we could take them to the airport Saturday early afternoon- they were moving to Florida. That in itself is kind of weird. The build up to their departure was hard on my mom but now that it is behind up things seem to be mellowing out. My in laws, who are just great I must say, left Friday afternoon. That Sunday I taught from 1-5 then had a consult that evening. Then Monday morning the monkey started his 2 week art and drama camp. 9-5 M-F for 2 weeks. Crazy. Good to have time alone with the bean. She is napping all of a sudden. She needs the break.
Monday news came that a family friends daughter who has been fighting leukemia since January had passed. She was just a baby. They had taken her home for hospice care on Friday. It was very sad.
Tuesday and Wednesday I was really ill but still taught. I love Advil cold and sinus. Tuesday night was really bad- hardly got a wink of sleep. Wednesday the bean was kind of on her own and she did a job of trashing the family room :) but she let mama nap and take a long bath to try to get rid of the snots. Doing good now.
Went grocery shopping for the first time in a few weeks today. Cleaned out the fridge and the pantry (much needed) and the bean is napping.
So, the trip. The drive was long but nice. I only got kind of antsy since from Chicago to St. Louis there is A LOT of corn fields. I listened to Neil Gaiman's Anansi Boys on books on CD. I had two other books but the one got me down there and a third of the way back.
I was very excited to get to the hotel although it was very busy- two weddings, a hs reunion and a family reunion were going on. I was lucky enough to have my own room for the trip. I looked into room sharing but my only option was to share a 2 king room with 3 other women i did not know. The organization I work for paid for the room and the woman I work with said that she would not ask me to do anything she would not do and she would not share a room with 3 other women she did not know. It was really nice to have a room to myself. I had a wee anxiety attack the first hour or so being away form my family. But my dear lovely friend Chucki who lives in St. Louis invited me to come out and meet him and two friends he had in visiting from Chicago for sushi and wine. It was so good to see Chucki. I don't think I had seen him since the monkey was born. Chucki was the first friend to come over and meet the monkey- he brought me tapioca pudding that day ;). Chucki lives in the cutest neighborhood, the architecture was beautiful. My goal is to get the whole family down to visit him sometime soon. That was a highlight of the trip.
Sunday morning I slept in, took my time getting up and ready for the day. I went walking around looking for the conference- found it and decided to go back to my room to read a great book a good friend had sent me the week before I left- The Gypsy Chronicles. It turns out the author lives in my town. I read for a bit then ended up meditating for over an hour. I have not been able to do that in years. It was great to just let my mind go.
Sunday at 2pm the training began. It went until 9pm Sunday. Then Monday 8am to 9pm and Tuesday 8am to 9pm and Wednesday 8am to noon. Then home I drove again.
The training was good. It was the third time I have sat through a Doula training (part of the trainer training is to sit in on others teaching a doula training). This one was taught by Kathy McGrath and Penny Simkin (a big name in the birth world). Kathy has a background as a social worker so she crafted emotional work into the training that I thought was very interesting. Penny is in her late 60's I would say, short and very spunky. I learned a lot about my work and even more about myself on this trip. The second night I was really missing my family. Fortunately the training kept me busy.
Some of the emotional work that came with the training brought up some things that I was not aware of. Well, maybe I was but I did not understand how much it was weighing on me. One activity was to think of a time that you needed to ask for help then you had to tell it to the person you were paired up with. The training is mostly women and many of us had a hard time admitting when we needed help. It was a two way activity of understanding how difficult it is for some to ask for help then also of active listening. There were a few other activities of this sort that led up to an activity called the ideal birth. In this activity you draw or write what your ideal birth would be. Mine was to have Donn be the primary person with me and to have some good friends in the house with me. It was not traditional as most- others were more specific of type of care provider, h2o birth, whatever.
This activity hit a chord with me. Although the beans birth by all means was perfect, there were some missing points. One in particular is that I really wanted Donn to be with me- I never asked that of him because I thought he didn't want to be there. Now I know that he would have been there for me and been great if I just asked. But where we were at that time was not the best place for such communication. I really wanted him there for me. I didn't feel the support that I wanted in that pregnancy from those close to me. Even with my midwives I thought it was lacking. I remember my midwife complaining that she had a headache when she did the newborn exam. They were only there 3 hours. (i didn't call them until right before she came out) It really is true that moms remember little details from their births. It was mostly because I didn't ask for what I needed. I don't even know if I knew for sure what I wanted- but I think I just wanted to have it feel special. I was to busy being polite instead of asking for what I wanted.
I know I should be content that the birth was straight forward and the bean is fine. I do feel guilty about critiquing how it went and how I wish it could have been. It does lead to a bigger picture though. One thing is how I communicate with Donn- I think it really would have made a difference in many things if I just told him that I needed him and that I wanted him to be there for me. It makes me think about those close to me in the big picture and how these relationships function.
Another light bulb that went off on this trip is that I am by nature a pretty quiet person. In having kids I have forced myself to be more social and chatty- which makes me more crazy, hyper sensitive and anxious. I like things simple and slow. I like to be in my head. I told Donn about this when I got home and his response was equivalent to- DUH (he concurred that I changed in being a mother).
It was bizarre to be away from my family for that time. It was nice to put a wedge in running on auto pilot trend that I have been functioning in for way too long. It was wonderful to come home though. The drive home was long but good- going in the right direction. It gave me a great appreciation for the trees in Michigan. It also makes me want to move to the K-zoo area from mid state to the west side of the state. I have friends that are planning on moving to K-zoo, I would love to live near them.
Arthur is over and now the bean and I are going for a walk.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
in just a few days i will be driving states to st. louis for a training and spending 4 nights along in a hotel room.
the lasts time i spent more than a day away from my family (which is usually for a birth) was when sam was 2.5 years old and i was working from sun up 'til sin down for credits for massage school and that was 4 days. Donn and i together have spent only one night away from our kids and that was when sam was 2 and it ended up only being for 18 hours. and the last and only real vacation we have taken since we have been married was when sam was 2, up in traverse city with my brother, his wife and my mom.
the thought of being away for almost 5 days by myself and knowing i will have down time is exciting and nerve wracking. tonight i was thinking about the last time i was able to let my mind stop, i could not come up with "the last time". it has always been buzzing with thoughts of the kids, work, money, school, money, donn, dinner, laundry, bills, to do lists, etc. so many times i have wanted to shut off and run away just to hear my own thoughts.
very rarely do i get the house to myself but when i do it is amazing- i feel normal again even if just for an hour. but a hotel room to myself for 4 nights- no screaming children, grumpy grown ups, everyday drama, the laundry will not be looking at me, and the bills will not me call for me- what will i do? stop. breathe.
i know i will miss my family very much with an ache in my heart for them. but now i miss myself and my thoughts. the simple things that get lost in the craziness of a struggling young family.
i was a creature that loved my quiet time, preferring it to socializing with others. now i crave interaction with others, "adult time", but more i crave my quiet alone time.
i am looking forward to it but with hesitation.
the lasts time i spent more than a day away from my family (which is usually for a birth) was when sam was 2.5 years old and i was working from sun up 'til sin down for credits for massage school and that was 4 days. Donn and i together have spent only one night away from our kids and that was when sam was 2 and it ended up only being for 18 hours. and the last and only real vacation we have taken since we have been married was when sam was 2, up in traverse city with my brother, his wife and my mom.
the thought of being away for almost 5 days by myself and knowing i will have down time is exciting and nerve wracking. tonight i was thinking about the last time i was able to let my mind stop, i could not come up with "the last time". it has always been buzzing with thoughts of the kids, work, money, school, money, donn, dinner, laundry, bills, to do lists, etc. so many times i have wanted to shut off and run away just to hear my own thoughts.
very rarely do i get the house to myself but when i do it is amazing- i feel normal again even if just for an hour. but a hotel room to myself for 4 nights- no screaming children, grumpy grown ups, everyday drama, the laundry will not be looking at me, and the bills will not me call for me- what will i do? stop. breathe.
i know i will miss my family very much with an ache in my heart for them. but now i miss myself and my thoughts. the simple things that get lost in the craziness of a struggling young family.
i was a creature that loved my quiet time, preferring it to socializing with others. now i crave interaction with others, "adult time", but more i crave my quiet alone time.
i am looking forward to it but with hesitation.
Friday, July 13, 2007
MARBLES!!
My grandmother was the marbles champion of Minnesota when she was a young girl. I remember growing up and admiring the plastic trophy she displayed in her living room with the winning marble in it still. She and I would play in on her floor at family gatherings. I have two boy cousins and my brother so often I was left with nothing to do.
The kids and I went and had lunch with my grandparents, who are 90 and 87 now. I asked my grandmother what the rules of marbles were and she could not remember. I really want to teach Sam so here is what I found.
ANYONE UP FOR A NIGHT OF MARBLES AND BEER? (I need practice too)
(and yes, there is a for real competitive tournament http://marbles-american.org/default.htm)
The kids and I went and had lunch with my grandparents, who are 90 and 87 now. I asked my grandmother what the rules of marbles were and she could not remember. I really want to teach Sam so here is what I found.
ANYONE UP FOR A NIGHT OF MARBLES AND BEER? (I need practice too)
(and yes, there is a for real competitive tournament http://marbles-american.org/default.htm)
AMERICAN MARBLES RINGER RULES
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Midwife at Auschwitz
The following an amazing and inspiring story of Stanislawa Leszczynska. It is disturbing to read but portrays strength, conviction and hope in the face of hell and despair. I am so lucky and blessed for my children, the life I have been given and the opportunity to do the work I do.
This is not just a story it really happened. Midwife at Auschwitz
Monday, July 09, 2007
today is my birthday. i am 32 although i do not feel a year older because i have been thinking i am 32 for most of the last year. so i am just 32 again.
it was a day of catching fish in a net, leeches in a bucket and sunburned cheeks. ella got stung form picking up a dead bee- poor nugget.
my dad took me out to joes crab shack (my choice since the kids were with me and donn had school). it was good although i found out the hard way that if you go to joes crab shack for your birthday they make you have you put on a hat, hawaiian shirt and hoola hoop in front of the whoel restaurant as they sing you happy birthday. it was very painful and my dad took photos.
it was a day of catching fish in a net, leeches in a bucket and sunburned cheeks. ella got stung form picking up a dead bee- poor nugget.
my dad took me out to joes crab shack (my choice since the kids were with me and donn had school). it was good although i found out the hard way that if you go to joes crab shack for your birthday they make you have you put on a hat, hawaiian shirt and hoola hoop in front of the whoel restaurant as they sing you happy birthday. it was very painful and my dad took photos.
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
"Responsibility is an invitation to give what you can because you can. Compassion is the art of pure feeling. Friendship is meeting yourself in another form and holding on. "
-taken from Little Big Minds by Marietta McCarty
"Loving friendships provide us with a space to experience the joy of community in a relationship where we can learn to process all our issues, to cope with differences and conflict while staying connected"
-Bell Hooks, All About Love (quoted in Little Big Minds)
Philosophy and children a natural match. Children are still able to look at the world in such a way to make philosophizing a natural event rather than forced or uncomfortable. Being able to talk about death, love, god, friendship matter of factly without the hang ups and the baggage that we as grown ups usually do. Really most grown ups just don't.
In homeschooling my children I have struggled int he past year to figure out what is the right path for me and my children. Traditional formats I have found (from Sonlight to Oak Meadow) do not work as I am scattered and cannot adhere to a set curriculum. By my personality free flow order I found works best and the kids like it too. but it needed a focus. I am a thinker, analyzer, obsessive person- which if not tamed could be my down fall, but harnessing it into something that could help my children grow and thrive in this culture could be a great gift.
I was beginning to lose hope on finding a path that worked for us. But a client of mine mentioned this book at an appointment- Little Big Minds. She had hear the author interviewed on NPR a day previous and thought of me immediately. She, being an educator her self, has credit in my book as someone who might know a thing or two about the subject of teaching kids.
I ordered the book and it sat for a couple of weeks on my desk and on my to do list. I picked it up last night and read the intro and browsed through the book in it entirety and I love it. I cannot wait to jump in and play around with it with my kids.
It is not a format or curriculum. It is just a way of looking at the world and how to apply it to children. The biggest thing with me and my kids in their younger years is I don't know how to relate to them. I know that sounds odd but I am not a good "player'. Meaning I don't play well. I try to work on it but little kids and me are a challenge.
I was chatting with someone recently about this and she shared with me that generally there aree two types. Those who are good with their kids when they are young and not so much when they are older and the opposite. I am the opposite.
This book is opening my eyes to how to engage with my super chatty son and maybe how to reign in my fiery daughter. Also it seems to open my eyes to step out of survival mode of parenting/working/life and "be" with my kids and others.
-taken from Little Big Minds by Marietta McCarty
"Loving friendships provide us with a space to experience the joy of community in a relationship where we can learn to process all our issues, to cope with differences and conflict while staying connected"
-Bell Hooks, All About Love (quoted in Little Big Minds)
Philosophy and children a natural match. Children are still able to look at the world in such a way to make philosophizing a natural event rather than forced or uncomfortable. Being able to talk about death, love, god, friendship matter of factly without the hang ups and the baggage that we as grown ups usually do. Really most grown ups just don't.
In homeschooling my children I have struggled int he past year to figure out what is the right path for me and my children. Traditional formats I have found (from Sonlight to Oak Meadow) do not work as I am scattered and cannot adhere to a set curriculum. By my personality free flow order I found works best and the kids like it too. but it needed a focus. I am a thinker, analyzer, obsessive person- which if not tamed could be my down fall, but harnessing it into something that could help my children grow and thrive in this culture could be a great gift.
I was beginning to lose hope on finding a path that worked for us. But a client of mine mentioned this book at an appointment- Little Big Minds. She had hear the author interviewed on NPR a day previous and thought of me immediately. She, being an educator her self, has credit in my book as someone who might know a thing or two about the subject of teaching kids.
I ordered the book and it sat for a couple of weeks on my desk and on my to do list. I picked it up last night and read the intro and browsed through the book in it entirety and I love it. I cannot wait to jump in and play around with it with my kids.
It is not a format or curriculum. It is just a way of looking at the world and how to apply it to children. The biggest thing with me and my kids in their younger years is I don't know how to relate to them. I know that sounds odd but I am not a good "player'. Meaning I don't play well. I try to work on it but little kids and me are a challenge.
I was chatting with someone recently about this and she shared with me that generally there aree two types. Those who are good with their kids when they are young and not so much when they are older and the opposite. I am the opposite.
This book is opening my eyes to how to engage with my super chatty son and maybe how to reign in my fiery daughter. Also it seems to open my eyes to step out of survival mode of parenting/working/life and "be" with my kids and others.
Monday, July 02, 2007
i finally down loaded my photos which oddly i hate doing. i am convinced i am doing it the most difficult way possible. but i have pictures to share.
first i will share my evening. i had a barter thing going on tonight of massage for reiki. during the massage or reiki, i dont remember, he had mentioned this modality called gwa-sha . it sounded interesting and he offered for me to come over after the reiki trade and he would work on my back. it was very painful but my back feels great after. on the side i look like i have been dragged on my back behind a truck.
as i mentioned a few posts ago we put in a pond a couple of weeks ago. now it has plants, tadpoles, fish and more rocks but i do av a picture of the first night after we made it. i will take pictures of how it looks now ans post them later.
it looks even better with all the plants and stuff. if you are in town stop by and check it out!!
another development this week that i found interesting- i went back to the dr. whom had terrible bedside manner and freaked me out a bit, triggering a whole bunch of old shit. in this visit my blood work was fine (not dying of anything that the blood tests and a bit off pee can see) and i asked him about homeopathics (this is why i go to him - the only dr. covered by my ins that knows homeopathics) , constitutional remedies to be exact. i have been interested in what my constitutional remedy is, due to my moodiness, joint issues, anxiety and ______ (anyone who knows me can fill in the blank with something that could be fixed, i am sure). Upon asking he pegged me immediately as calcarea carbonica (calc carb). described as -
these are our geckos having sex-
my daughter :)
chinese labor herbs from a birth a couple of months ago-
that is the photo update from whooville. ;)
first i will share my evening. i had a barter thing going on tonight of massage for reiki. during the massage or reiki, i dont remember, he had mentioned this modality called gwa-sha . it sounded interesting and he offered for me to come over after the reiki trade and he would work on my back. it was very painful but my back feels great after. on the side i look like i have been dragged on my back behind a truck.
as i mentioned a few posts ago we put in a pond a couple of weeks ago. now it has plants, tadpoles, fish and more rocks but i do av a picture of the first night after we made it. i will take pictures of how it looks now ans post them later.
it looks even better with all the plants and stuff. if you are in town stop by and check it out!!another development this week that i found interesting- i went back to the dr. whom had terrible bedside manner and freaked me out a bit, triggering a whole bunch of old shit. in this visit my blood work was fine (not dying of anything that the blood tests and a bit off pee can see) and i asked him about homeopathics (this is why i go to him - the only dr. covered by my ins that knows homeopathics) , constitutional remedies to be exact. i have been interested in what my constitutional remedy is, due to my moodiness, joint issues, anxiety and ______ (anyone who knows me can fill in the blank with something that could be fixed, i am sure). Upon asking he pegged me immediately as calcarea carbonica (calc carb). described as -
This remedy is made from calcium carbonate, which is derived from the oyster shell. The type of person needing this remedy is quiet, cautious and very sensitive. Generally they are very healthy and enthusiastic in their work. In contrast, when they become ill, they become introspective and lacking motivation.
The Calc. carb type is generally plump, chilly and under-active. Perhaps due to a slow metabolism, they are sluggish and have a shy contemplative nature. They tend to be unambitious and non-competitive and are great procrastinators. They lack confidence and avoid responsibility.
They can have a big appetite with a liking for sweets, cakes and eggs and be overweight. They are easily tired and can suffer with head sweats or joint abnormalities.
Weak areas of the body include the bones and teeth, bowels, ears, nose and throat, glands and skin
Calc. carb is often used to treat back and joint pains, headaches, ear or eye infections, eczema, thrush, digestion, PMS.
these are our geckos having sex-
my daughter :)
chinese labor herbs from a birth a couple of months ago-
that is the photo update from whooville. ;)
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
so i have picked up knitting again hence i am up at 1:13am knitting. it is a bit obsessive for me. so knitting is a dangerous hobby for me.
this time i am trying a pattern- yes you heard correctly i am going to try to follow instructions. here is the pattern . there is also an adult version that i will try if this first one goes well. BUT... i got stuck on the box stitch and casting more stitches on. damn. luckily i am hanging out with stitchy folk tomorrow at the lake so maybe i will be able to resolve this issue. if not i will have to track someone down to help me.
this time i am trying a pattern- yes you heard correctly i am going to try to follow instructions. here is the pattern . there is also an adult version that i will try if this first one goes well. BUT... i got stuck on the box stitch and casting more stitches on. damn. luckily i am hanging out with stitchy folk tomorrow at the lake so maybe i will be able to resolve this issue. if not i will have to track someone down to help me.
mulch- i am tired of mulch. the pile that has been taking up a quarter of our driveway for the past few months, making us the undesirable neighbors, is down to a fifth of its former self. my back can tell you who has been doing most of the dispersal. but the pond looks awesome. i added three bags of pea gravel and a few bigger rocks for accent and mulched the surrounding area. the back yard actually looks nice, just dont look to the east side that is still a bit lacking.
the recent issue is how to evict the earwigs from my garden donn sent me the following info:
the recent issue is how to evict the earwigs from my garden donn sent me the following info:
Attract Natural Enemies
While toads and lizards love to eat earwigs, the European earwig has at least two specific natural insect enemies in the U.S., a tachinid fly (Bigonicheta spinipennis) that was imported in the Northwest in 1924 and the parasitic fly Digonichaeta setipennis. In good years these parasites attack and kill over 1/3 of the earwig population. These flies look very much like common house flies, perhaps a tiny bit larger.
You can attract these flies by planting the following plants near the area where the earwigs have been a problem in the past.
Anise (Pimpinella anisum)
Buckwheat (Fagopyrum esculentum)
Coreopsis (Coreopsis tinctoria)
Cosmos (Cosmos bipinnatus)
Dill (Anethum graveolens)
Fennel (Foeniculum vulgare)
Golden marguerite (Anthemis tinctoria)
Painted daisy (Chrysanthemum coccineum)
Tansy (Tanacetum vulgare)
now the question is do i really want the flies and then the question is will any of these plants grow in our clay shit soil in the shade....hmmmm. what do you think.
also i want:
ANGELICA
Angelica archangelica B/PS-Sh/5-6 ft. $3.00
Resembles celery somewhat and has a similar fragrance. Its stem is stout, round,
hollow, and purplish in color, and divides into many branches. Best known for
making candy from
PARTRIDGEBERRY
Mitchella repens (Squaw Vine) P/SH/4”to12”
Creeping vine with small evergreen leaves. Has fragrant white tubular flowers. (for a trellis i built in the back)
SAGE, LYRE LEAVED (CANCERWEED)
Salvia lyrata P/PS-Sh/18 in. $3.00
This native plant found in woods and clearings has pale blue flowers and red veined
leaves.
WOODRUFF, SWEET
Asperula odorata P/P-Sh/5 in. $4.00
A beautiful ground cover for shady places, with whorls of light green leaves and
many tiny white flowers. The leaves have no odor when first picked, but when
even slightly dried they have an aroma of vanilla and new-mown hay.
While toads and lizards love to eat earwigs, the European earwig has at least two specific natural insect enemies in the U.S., a tachinid fly (Bigonicheta spinipennis) that was imported in the Northwest in 1924 and the parasitic fly Digonichaeta setipennis. In good years these parasites attack and kill over 1/3 of the earwig population. These flies look very much like common house flies, perhaps a tiny bit larger.
You can attract these flies by planting the following plants near the area where the earwigs have been a problem in the past.
Anise (Pimpinella anisum)
Buckwheat (Fagopyrum esculentum)
Coreopsis (Coreopsis tinctoria)
Cosmos (Cosmos bipinnatus)
Dill (Anethum graveolens)
Fennel (Foeniculum vulgare)
Golden marguerite (Anthemis tinctoria)
Painted daisy (Chrysanthemum coccineum)
Tansy (Tanacetum vulgare)
now the question is do i really want the flies and then the question is will any of these plants grow in our clay shit soil in the shade....hmmmm. what do you think.
also i want:
ANGELICA
Angelica archangelica B/PS-Sh/5-6 ft. $3.00
Resembles celery somewhat and has a similar fragrance. Its stem is stout, round,
hollow, and purplish in color, and divides into many branches. Best known for
making candy from
PARTRIDGEBERRY
Mitchella repens (Squaw Vine) P/SH/4”to12”
Creeping vine with small evergreen leaves. Has fragrant white tubular flowers. (for a trellis i built in the back)
SAGE, LYRE LEAVED (CANCERWEED)
Salvia lyrata P/PS-Sh/18 in. $3.00
This native plant found in woods and clearings has pale blue flowers and red veined
leaves.
WOODRUFF, SWEET
Asperula odorata P/P-Sh/5 in. $4.00
A beautiful ground cover for shady places, with whorls of light green leaves and
many tiny white flowers. The leaves have no odor when first picked, but when
even slightly dried they have an aroma of vanilla and new-mown hay.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
waiting for babies.
the time has come- i am itching to go. also i am preferring homebirths lately. i am just not into the shadow and complications that go into even the simplest hospital birth. and the one i am sitting on right now has its share of bumps in the road going in. either way i need to go check out form the day to day and get the little reminder of the grand miracle of life.
then i am off call for a wee bit and very much looking forward to it. well i am off call but kind of on call for my sister in law in bad axe. which i feel very blessed and honored that she would want me there. this is big daddy's brothers wife. my family thinks i am a kook so although they have given lip service of support when the time comes they stop talking to me for the duration of gestation and immediate postpartum.
so in the news -
decreasing rates of circumcision
sad closing of another birth center
recommended read (even for the non birth junkies :)
Born in the USA
it is a chilly spring morning after the sweltering heat of last week it is a nice break. although it is supposed to by 92 next tuesday! we plan on taking advantage of the weather and hitting the zoo today. i have a love hate thing with the zoo. i love going and i hate how sad the concept of caged animals is. but it is what it is. i really love the butterfly house and amphibiville at the detroit zoo. i could really skip everything else. if my brother moves to flordia for his possible new job then we will actually be able to take vacations down there. if so i would love to take the kids to check out the manatees.
the time has come- i am itching to go. also i am preferring homebirths lately. i am just not into the shadow and complications that go into even the simplest hospital birth. and the one i am sitting on right now has its share of bumps in the road going in. either way i need to go check out form the day to day and get the little reminder of the grand miracle of life.
then i am off call for a wee bit and very much looking forward to it. well i am off call but kind of on call for my sister in law in bad axe. which i feel very blessed and honored that she would want me there. this is big daddy's brothers wife. my family thinks i am a kook so although they have given lip service of support when the time comes they stop talking to me for the duration of gestation and immediate postpartum.
so in the news -
decreasing rates of circumcision
sad closing of another birth center
recommended read (even for the non birth junkies :)
Born in the USA
it is a chilly spring morning after the sweltering heat of last week it is a nice break. although it is supposed to by 92 next tuesday! we plan on taking advantage of the weather and hitting the zoo today. i have a love hate thing with the zoo. i love going and i hate how sad the concept of caged animals is. but it is what it is. i really love the butterfly house and amphibiville at the detroit zoo. i could really skip everything else. if my brother moves to flordia for his possible new job then we will actually be able to take vacations down there. if so i would love to take the kids to check out the manatees.
Sunday, June 03, 2007
i took my dad out for his 60th birthday last night. i used to do date nights with my dad more often but then ...marriage...children....busy. we went to hamtramck to the polish village cafe for dinner. it was great. cozy little basement eating. and inexpensive, two full dinners with salad and two beers each for $27. cant beat that. then it was off to roller derby! he was a troop and got into it. we sat in the seats for a bit but then i talked him to sitting on the floor. a few times we got close to being kicked in the head with a skate.
Friday, May 25, 2007
dolphins born tail first- the umbilical cord snaps as the head is born and they nurse for at least 2 and up to 7 years old. sexually mature at 10.
elephants gestate for 2 years and nurse for 5 years. stay with their mother until 13.
we watched this show about animal birth and i was very disturbed at the amount of intervention the humans performed in the birth and post partum. and at one point you could see the mama trying to climb a fence to get to her baby who was being guided to walk right away by humans in the bright florescent lights of the building as the narrator explains that elephants has poor eye sight at birth but usually elephants are born at night so they have time usually to adjust. heavens to betsy cant we ever just sit on our hands.
elephants gestate for 2 years and nurse for 5 years. stay with their mother until 13.
we watched this show about animal birth and i was very disturbed at the amount of intervention the humans performed in the birth and post partum. and at one point you could see the mama trying to climb a fence to get to her baby who was being guided to walk right away by humans in the bright florescent lights of the building as the narrator explains that elephants has poor eye sight at birth but usually elephants are born at night so they have time usually to adjust. heavens to betsy cant we ever just sit on our hands.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
everything is illuminated
good movie- check it out.
http://wip.warnerbros.com/everythingisilluminated/
i want the sound track.
i am diggin on eugene hutz who was in the above movie. not only is he very attractive but he is a musician. gongol bordello http://www.gogolbordello.com/
listen to it here http://www.myspace.com/gogolbordello
and they are coming to detroit july 14th! that would be a fun date night..hint hint.
good movie- check it out.
http://wip.warnerbros.com/everythingisilluminated/
i want the sound track.
i am diggin on eugene hutz who was in the above movie. not only is he very attractive but he is a musician. gongol bordello http://www.gogolbordello.com/
listen to it here http://www.myspace.com/gogolbordello
and they are coming to detroit july 14th! that would be a fun date night..hint hint.
a good day is good to have- it gives me hope that i am not totally ruining my children.
the bean and i got up at 6:30 for some reason this morning. but even with that the day went ok. it was the last day of sams homeschool connection class. then after that we went to the lake with our lovely neighbor. it is summer ot me now. we have been to the lake. it was lovely and refreshing after sweating all day. the bean was all about it and sam was like a mini donn worried about her clucking about her (not that donn clucks). then ice cream at tuckers! summer all the way!
today was the day of the comfrey oil i have been meaning to make for a friend. it turned out beautifully. It is dark green and strong smelling. there was enough for me, my friend and one other. i find great satisfaction in doing such things. ans i got free bottles from the apotheke in depot town. you cant get better than that. now to go look up ALL the uses for comfrey oil!!! that post will follow.
looking forward to hanging out with the ladies tomorrow.
the bean and i got up at 6:30 for some reason this morning. but even with that the day went ok. it was the last day of sams homeschool connection class. then after that we went to the lake with our lovely neighbor. it is summer ot me now. we have been to the lake. it was lovely and refreshing after sweating all day. the bean was all about it and sam was like a mini donn worried about her clucking about her (not that donn clucks). then ice cream at tuckers! summer all the way!
today was the day of the comfrey oil i have been meaning to make for a friend. it turned out beautifully. It is dark green and strong smelling. there was enough for me, my friend and one other. i find great satisfaction in doing such things. ans i got free bottles from the apotheke in depot town. you cant get better than that. now to go look up ALL the uses for comfrey oil!!! that post will follow.
looking forward to hanging out with the ladies tomorrow.
the universe is very odd sometimes. i am going out of town from july 21-25/26 and i thought i was going to be financially tight this summer but i have ad folks hire me in august knowing i will be gone and last night i got an email from a woman who is due right before i leave but due to a health issue will be induced before her due date- so i could take her as a client. so, so weird.
very needed though since i had to drop $1000 into my car a few weeks ago and i have to drop another $1000 sometime this summer. thats why i love my mechanic he makes it reasonable (as can be) for us to get our car fixed. there is no way i could have dumped $2000 in one sitting. this way at least i can kind of plan for it. ugh. Orion Auto check it out http://www.orionautomotiveservices.com/ He kicks ass!!!
i came across this http://placentabenefits.info
this morning on the midwifery today enews. it is really interesting. i havent had a chance to read through the whole site but i really agree with this- eating encapsulated placenta that is. it is some potent stuff. makes me think about bigger concepts of how we as humans have disturbed the natural process of things. it has an anthropology section in its research- i am really looking forward to reading that.
it is supposed to be 90 degrees today. summer is here and accordingly we are skipping soccer practice and going to the lake damn it. whoohoo. sam wanted to go yesterday but i had to work last night so no go. he was very sad about that. tears even.
very needed though since i had to drop $1000 into my car a few weeks ago and i have to drop another $1000 sometime this summer. thats why i love my mechanic he makes it reasonable (as can be) for us to get our car fixed. there is no way i could have dumped $2000 in one sitting. this way at least i can kind of plan for it. ugh. Orion Auto check it out http://www.orionautomotiveservices.com/ He kicks ass!!!
i came across this http://placentabenefits.info
this morning on the midwifery today enews. it is really interesting. i havent had a chance to read through the whole site but i really agree with this- eating encapsulated placenta that is. it is some potent stuff. makes me think about bigger concepts of how we as humans have disturbed the natural process of things. it has an anthropology section in its research- i am really looking forward to reading that.
it is supposed to be 90 degrees today. summer is here and accordingly we are skipping soccer practice and going to the lake damn it. whoohoo. sam wanted to go yesterday but i had to work last night so no go. he was very sad about that. tears even.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
when it rains it pours. i have 4 births lined up from july 30-august 24 not including helping out with the homebirths as a assistant. deep breath and know it will all work out ok with careful planning and good backup. the money is much needed so it is not like i could say no if i wanted to.
there is one doula birth and one homebirth in june both due on the same day actually. i find that more comforting for some reason. like if they are due on the same day they are less likely to go on the same day. weird logic but it works for me.
i am hoping to get away with the kids for a few days to fenton. i desperately need to unplug from life. my stress level is too high and my adrenals are shot. i can really feel my health deteriorating from stress. i dont like that.
i went to a chiropractor to try to get my back fixed just to find out she is not in my network actually she is not accepted by blue care ad she knew that but had the first visit anyway. and went on to recommend nutritional counseling without telling me that it would be an additional cost and not covered by insurance at all if i went forward with the nutritional plan. she is a very nice woman but a little too heavy on the business savvy crap. kind of a turn off in my world. also it turns out she does a much more aggressive "webster technique" than i had done by my other chiro. and my back went out again the next day.
i really do not like working with health insurance companies. it drives me nuts. i have to call them for something else too. dreading having to do grown up stuff.
my friend told me about the Flying Spaghetti Monster and i am very excited to look further into this http://www.venganza.org/ check it out.
there is one doula birth and one homebirth in june both due on the same day actually. i find that more comforting for some reason. like if they are due on the same day they are less likely to go on the same day. weird logic but it works for me.
i am hoping to get away with the kids for a few days to fenton. i desperately need to unplug from life. my stress level is too high and my adrenals are shot. i can really feel my health deteriorating from stress. i dont like that.
i went to a chiropractor to try to get my back fixed just to find out she is not in my network actually she is not accepted by blue care ad she knew that but had the first visit anyway. and went on to recommend nutritional counseling without telling me that it would be an additional cost and not covered by insurance at all if i went forward with the nutritional plan. she is a very nice woman but a little too heavy on the business savvy crap. kind of a turn off in my world. also it turns out she does a much more aggressive "webster technique" than i had done by my other chiro. and my back went out again the next day.
i really do not like working with health insurance companies. it drives me nuts. i have to call them for something else too. dreading having to do grown up stuff.
my friend told me about the Flying Spaghetti Monster and i am very excited to look further into this http://www.venganza.org/ check it out.
Saturday, April 21, 2007
life needs to slow down. i want to get off for a bit. just a bit. life seems like it might ease up in june. thats too far. i was saying april a few months ago. everyday all day full. i love everything i am doing so there is nothing to cut out and it is not all for me there are the kids activities too.
yesterday sam said to me "mom i dont want to grow up, i want to stay a kid" my reply "me too". growing up is very overrated. i have become one of those painfully stressed people. i never thought i would become one of those tension headache folks.
i was chatting with my mother the other day about my career and where it is going (i dont know the answer to that). the homebirth on thursday was absolutely lovely. i loved it. oddly enough i loved the support role i ended up in. i liked that i could focus on the mother and not worry about the more technical things. i think i would like to know about the technical things and get good at them but i loved just sitting behind the mother and being there for her in the way she needed at that time. it was a nice affirmation that i am good at what i do. it is harder to get a feeling for that in a hospital birth because there is so much other stuff going on with protocol and the like.
with all my free time i got an itch to write a book, with my two partners in crime of course. about birth of course but with a sassy angle for thinking folks. informative with honest humor and cultural debunking. we are planning down the line if the birth project keeps going putting together a best of book. but this other one..... it would be damn good if i could get my head around it. cultural deprogramming thats the catch.
the birth project issue II went out last week. whoohoo. when i dropped it off at the printer they actually looked surprised to see us back. i guess there must be a lot of folks who start projects like this that fizzle out. my mother was shocked that i am actually organized about this and a wee bit of a hard ass on folks getting things done. we already have stuff for issue III some stuff that didnt fit into II and some new. anyone out there reading this if you want to write something we would love to read it. if you have no clue what i am talking about go to www.thebirthproject.com
today is my grandma june's (formerly estranged step-grandmother who now is suffering from dementia and alzheimer's) 90th bday party. after that i am off to see my old hs friend who is preggers. so exciting. then roller derby tonight (the whole family better go). uu in the morning. 2pm consult tomorrow and rollerskating tomorrow night. somewhere in all that i need to finish module 4 and put the evaluations together. i finished my dona births so now it is all the paper work and send it in (almost done!!) i am supposed to be doing neonatal resuscitation certification in a week and a half. i dont know if i am going to be able to do it though, i have to see how far i get on dona and the alace crap. if i can get dona done and mailed and the modules mailed relatively soon i might be able to do the nrc.
on the home front. my momis all for making a recycling center in the garage. it has been my plan for...well since we bought the house. all of a sudden she is getting all environmental. its great!!! she still is not a big fan of the compost but we are talkinga bout getting worms (that would need to be in the house, where i dont know, but i dont think she will be too keen on that. cross that bridge when we come to it.
thinking about having the kids share a bedroom and having a playroom. when will i do this...when i get time. hopefully before they leave for college ;)
theres the update more or less. k.
yesterday sam said to me "mom i dont want to grow up, i want to stay a kid" my reply "me too". growing up is very overrated. i have become one of those painfully stressed people. i never thought i would become one of those tension headache folks.
i was chatting with my mother the other day about my career and where it is going (i dont know the answer to that). the homebirth on thursday was absolutely lovely. i loved it. oddly enough i loved the support role i ended up in. i liked that i could focus on the mother and not worry about the more technical things. i think i would like to know about the technical things and get good at them but i loved just sitting behind the mother and being there for her in the way she needed at that time. it was a nice affirmation that i am good at what i do. it is harder to get a feeling for that in a hospital birth because there is so much other stuff going on with protocol and the like.
with all my free time i got an itch to write a book, with my two partners in crime of course. about birth of course but with a sassy angle for thinking folks. informative with honest humor and cultural debunking. we are planning down the line if the birth project keeps going putting together a best of book. but this other one..... it would be damn good if i could get my head around it. cultural deprogramming thats the catch.
the birth project issue II went out last week. whoohoo. when i dropped it off at the printer they actually looked surprised to see us back. i guess there must be a lot of folks who start projects like this that fizzle out. my mother was shocked that i am actually organized about this and a wee bit of a hard ass on folks getting things done. we already have stuff for issue III some stuff that didnt fit into II and some new. anyone out there reading this if you want to write something we would love to read it. if you have no clue what i am talking about go to www.thebirthproject.com
today is my grandma june's (formerly estranged step-grandmother who now is suffering from dementia and alzheimer's) 90th bday party. after that i am off to see my old hs friend who is preggers. so exciting. then roller derby tonight (the whole family better go). uu in the morning. 2pm consult tomorrow and rollerskating tomorrow night. somewhere in all that i need to finish module 4 and put the evaluations together. i finished my dona births so now it is all the paper work and send it in (almost done!!) i am supposed to be doing neonatal resuscitation certification in a week and a half. i dont know if i am going to be able to do it though, i have to see how far i get on dona and the alace crap. if i can get dona done and mailed and the modules mailed relatively soon i might be able to do the nrc.
on the home front. my momis all for making a recycling center in the garage. it has been my plan for...well since we bought the house. all of a sudden she is getting all environmental. its great!!! she still is not a big fan of the compost but we are talkinga bout getting worms (that would need to be in the house, where i dont know, but i dont think she will be too keen on that. cross that bridge when we come to it.
thinking about having the kids share a bedroom and having a playroom. when will i do this...when i get time. hopefully before they leave for college ;)
theres the update more or less. k.
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