Wading Thru My Head

life needs to slow down. i want to get off for a bit. just a bit. life seems like it might ease up in june. thats too far. i was saying april a few months ago. everyday all day full. i love everything i am doing so there is nothing to cut out and it is not all for me there are the kids activities too.

yesterday sam said to me "mom i dont want to grow up, i want to stay a kid" my reply "me too". growing up is very overrated. i have become one of those painfully stressed people. i never thought i would become one of those tension headache folks.

i was chatting with my mother the other day about my career and where it is going (i dont know the answer to that). the homebirth on thursday was absolutely lovely. i loved it. oddly enough i loved the support role i ended up in. i liked that i could focus on the mother and not worry about the more technical things. i think i would like to know about the technical things and get good at them but i loved just sitting behind the mother and being there for her in the way she needed at that time. it was a nice affirmation that i am good at what i do. it is harder to get a feeling for that in a hospital birth because there is so much other stuff going on with protocol and the like.

with all my free time i got an itch to write a book, with my two partners in crime of course. about birth of course but with a sassy angle for thinking folks. informative with honest humor and cultural debunking. we are planning down the line if the birth project keeps going putting together a best of book. but this other one..... it would be damn good if i could get my head around it. cultural deprogramming thats the catch.

the birth project issue II went out last week. whoohoo. when i dropped it off at the printer they actually looked surprised to see us back. i guess there must be a lot of folks who start projects like this that fizzle out. my mother was shocked that i am actually organized about this and a wee bit of a hard ass on folks getting things done. we already have stuff for issue III some stuff that didnt fit into II and some new. anyone out there reading this if you want to write something we would love to read it. if you have no clue what i am talking about go to www.thebirthproject.com

today is my grandma june's (formerly estranged step-grandmother who now is suffering from dementia and alzheimer's) 90th bday party. after that i am off to see my old hs friend who is preggers. so exciting. then roller derby tonight (the whole family better go). uu in the morning. 2pm consult tomorrow and rollerskating tomorrow night. somewhere in all that i need to finish module 4 and put the evaluations together. i finished my dona births so now it is all the paper work and send it in (almost done!!) i am supposed to be doing neonatal resuscitation certification in a week and a half. i dont know if i am going to be able to do it though, i have to see how far i get on dona and the alace crap. if i can get dona done and mailed and the modules mailed relatively soon i might be able to do the nrc.

on the home front. my momis all for making a recycling center in the garage. it has been my plan for...well since we bought the house. all of a sudden she is getting all environmental. its great!!! she still is not a big fan of the compost but we are talkinga bout getting worms (that would need to be in the house, where i dont know, but i dont think she will be too keen on that. cross that bridge when we come to it.

thinking about having the kids share a bedroom and having a playroom. when will i do this...when i get time. hopefully before they leave for college ;)

theres the update more or less. k.