Perceptions

For a long time I was embarrassed to tell people where I grew up. I never felt like I fit in there as a young person and could not identify with much of anything or anyone there. I grew up in Birmingham, Michigan. More specifically I grew up in Beverly Hills, Michigan.

This weekend a woman I have known for a few years asked me where I was from and I answered honestly. I am from Birmingham. She paused and looked at me, I could almost see the wheels turning in her head. She replied "Really?". She went on about how she is very surprised to hear that and it may take her a bit to adjust. I laughed. She went on to tell me "...but you are so Ypsi.." I am not sure but that is but I took it as a compliment.

I am used to hearing "Really!? You don't seem like you are from there" when folks eventually find out where I am from. I am not going to get into what folks are like there because I know some wonderful folks in that area and do not want to stereotype but Birmingham does have a reputation. As does the town I live in now, but we will not go into that here.

As a young person I was resentful of not fitting in, I judged others frequently for being so "Birmingham", and it was painful most of the time growing up there knowing I just couldn't feign the airs of my peers. As time has past, I have settled into myself as a person and taken steps (stumbling along) to figure out who I am. Time has brought me the gift of acceptance and empathy for other perspectives no matter how different they may be from mine. I realize that I judged others because I was judging myself. I was not secure in who I was enough to be comfortable with others who were different or who believed different than myself.

Be it the woman with the highlights, liposuction, boob job, perfect make-up and nails dressed to a T or the man in the $1500 suit driving the Hummer or the homeless man on the corner with the sign that says "homeless need work" or the check out person at Kroger or the bus driver or the milk man or the owner of an upscale restaurant or a drag queen or my Jehovah's witness who visits me periodically - all of the people I come across in my life have something to offer me. It may be something about themselves they offer me, they may help me better understand myself or my perceptions or my behavior. They may test my patience and empathy. They may show me I am not as accepting as I would like to be or they may show me that love and beauty come in all different kinds of packages.

Every person I come across every day is a gift (including the guy who flips me off while driving down the road) :) and an opportunity to be a better person. No journey is easy or pain free - growth hurts, it is uncomfortable and it takes time but you do end up standing taller.

Great Book for the soul of an unschooler

On of the lovely ladies of HOG-WARTS had purchased this book - Raising a Free Child: An Unschooled Life.

At a get together I started reading it and did not want to give it back. I did. Then went home to order my own. This is one of those books you want on your shelf to reference when you need a little boost.

So much of it resonates with how we feel about learning and family. It is nice to have a familiar voice to easy my inner beastie.

building blocks

as time passes i am letting go more and more. learning lessons of being, perceptions, listening, feeling and finding peace.
today was a wonderful visit with judy ramsey, an amazing healer. i knew when i went in that it was going to be not what i expected so i left my expectations open. it was a remarkable session of brain work and heart healing therapy. with this visit i have greater peace and a better understanding of myself and my place and how to incorporate it into all i do. i am looking forward to working with her more, and she is an inspiring rolemodel as a healer.
i feel like i am putting together puzzle pieces for a grand picture of my lifes work.
one....piece...at....a...time. and time it will take so breath in deep and be patient.

not in the mood to share

oh my goodness it is may. i have been quiet and introspective much lately. like the winds of change are coming and i am not quite sure what to do with that. it is a good thing though.

the gardening front is going well. the beds are in herbs are planted. strawberry patch in. greens to go in this wee.

homeschooling is great. i am starting to accept that we are built to be unschoolers although i have been reluctant. i want order but chaos is more our thing. it has been a huge leap of faith but so far it is panning out more amazingly than i could have ever imagined. it is so much easier now that the weather has perked up though. AMEN!

i am going for a craniosacral appointment tomorrow which is very exciting. this woman is booked two months in advanced and i called today to get on the waiting list and she had a cancelation for tomorrow and no one else on the waiting likst could take it so i am in. the universe likes me today. whoohoo!

i found a therapist which is wonderful although it will be out of pocket which is not so wonderful but i am worth it golly-darn-it. ;) i am very much looking forward to what that path may bring.

i have been invited to sing in a monthly womens group which is so good for my soul. i happened to be at a gettogether on friday that was specifically for recording old circle songs. i thought it was a beltane potluck but it was a singing potlatch, luckily i am easy going. well after i was complimented on my singing *blush* and invited to join a revival of this sining group of ladies. that night i also learned about threshold choirs of which there is one in ann arbor that i am going to look into. my heart warms at the thought of being able to sing.

then saturday i went to what i thought was going to me a herbal talk with Loren Cruden but ended up being this amazing spiritual talk with Loren Cruden. i came away from it with insight and tools for the spirit. she is an amazing woman, and funny.

the last night at a potluck at a friends house i found someone to lend me a cello to take my lessons. i was considering if the cost of rental would be too much, but then the universe stepped in an lent me a hand. i am very excited to start this barter for cello lessons thing. *geeky smile*

so if you cant tell this is a season of me taking care of myself and stepping away from the chaos of spiraling out into the vast everything at warp speed. i still run at warp speed but my mantra is now "stir it back into the pot". it is like the milky way with its tenticles flying everywhere but i am learning to keep it like spaghetti noodles in a pot.

stir it back into the pot...with love.