I've been awarded!

M, over at The Urban Homesteader awarded me this fine Honest Scrap Award.
Apparently, I now need to divulge ten honest things about myself and then pass the award on to "a fellow blogger whose blog’s content or design is, in the giver’s opinion, brilliant.”

Ok here we go...

1. I will open up to most anyone but trust very few. I have very little to hide - it almost borders on personality turrets.

2. I suffer from extreme post social anxiety which used to hinder my daily functioning (I dropped out of Michigan State University from social anxiety) but I have learned to deal by driving my husband crazy with post social processing.

3. I was physically allergic to the word "dating" symptoms included cringing, increased heart rate, nausea, immediate desire to run away and hide, flushed, nervous twitching and avoiding eye contact.

4. I NEVER imagined I would be married and a mother.

5. I really miss traveling and hope to take up that hobby again someday. Global tromping is a dream/goal (and not like a "tourist").

6. I want to play the cello and sing in a Threshold Choir

7. I am a little obsessed with death, always have been from a young age. I see hospice in my future someday.

8. Making art is my Ritalin. (and yes I have been labeled ADD - big surprise, i know)

9. I find great satisfaction in cooking and feeding people good food.

10. I have no clue how I got so damn lucky to be married to the most amazing man (for me) on the planet. I am so blessed. I do not deserve it sometimes.

11. I am torn between being an extroverted introvert.

12. I am surprisingly anti-authority as an adult (but not in a bad way). Preferring to function outside of the system on my own terms swimming up steam. Surprising because I tried so hard for so long to fit in on "the terms" dictated to me but it is in me bones I guess :)

13. This is where #1 and #12 meet...get it?

alrighty... I don't know if I have that many folks to list but here it is

1. Kim Big Sky Mountain
2. Jennifer Life with Girls
3. Brooke all My Favorite Things
4. Stacey Dandilions are Life
5. Wendy Frenzied Wren
6. Nat Injection Reflections
7. Stephanie A breastfeeding Mom's Journal
8 Grace Blue Cloud Cloth (just to be redundant)
9. Betsie And Another Thing
10. Jen No Teachign Only Learning

XO ~Kate

Being that I am the queen of analogies (often bad ones...)

I love this -

THE DAILY GROOVE ~ by Scott Noelle
www.enjoyparenting.com/dailygroove

:: The Wild Child ::

Domesticated animals confined to farms, zoos, and
similar unnatural habitats lack a certain "spark"
found in their wild counterparts. They've been bred
or trained to live apart from their nature. They've
adjusted to their lack of freedom.

Put a wild animal in a cage for the first time and
behold the fury! What else would you expect from a
creature who still knows it's supposed to be free?

Children are born free and wild, and they don't
readily submit to "domestication." And thank Goodness
for that! Because those who retain that spark are the
ones who will uplift humanity in generations to come.

Today, look for evidence of the spark of wildness in
your child... and *celebrate* it! Trust that s/he will
civilize in due time. And in the meantime, let that
spark ignite the flames of an authentic, passionate life.

Talking to myself

Recently in therapy my therapist offered her thoughts on our/my decision to homeschool. Her intentions were all good and she was just offering perspective with the thought of my sanity and "me time" in mind. Helping me find a balance in my world is part of her job that I am hiring her for. I listened and thought about what she said and agreed with some of it but we are homeschoolers through and through.
We are a busy homeschooling family. My husband works full time, goes to school full time (although he is finally taking the summer off) for his undergrad and I have always worked opposite shifts or creative emplyment to make ends meet. It has not been an easy road and there have been many stumbles along the way but we make it work.
Only fleetingly have we thought about putting the kids in school but no serious conversation has ever been had on the subject. Usually the fleeting though has come from our self doubt in our ability to "teach" the kids or just plain frustration (and that has not been infrequent over the years). We grow and change and the kids grow and change and with growth comes growing pains. No it is not easy, actually it is damn hard. It has been a huge leap of faith and a huge lesson in trust in my kids, their abilities and that they actually do know what is best for themselves a lot of the time (but not always ;) but really do any of us)
Recently I have made a professional shift in hopes to be more present for my kids and my family. It had the desired effect and I am so grateful. We are still shifting from old ways to new. It will be another few months of adjusting but this new shift and the bean turning five (!) my heart swells and my mind is open to all the amazing fun and growth we will be sharing together as a family and with our new friends we made this year in the homeschool communities.

~Today the monkey's face looked different, his tanned skin and rosey cheeks under his ice blue eyes, slimmer in the trunk, taller. He now does not want to cut his hair, he is growing it out or wearing it shaggy I guess. He is getting older. As beautiful and smart as ever my wonderful son. I will still curl you up on my lap and sing you "hush little baby" as you snuggle into my shoulder although your legs dangle over swinging your Frodo feet.

~My lovely daughter struggling through four almost to five. Looking for her place in the universe. Loves her hair done (although not brushed), taking her red purse to the store (which can be quite a production), making lists, likes things just so, and is so loving to others. In a couple of weeks she goes to Safety Town a big mile stone in our house. Her brother has been preparing her. This coming year will be full of dance classes, piano, and other activities along the way. I still wake up to the sweet smell of her head every morning "i love you mama" *wiggle*wiggle*wiggle* "its mo-ning time"

I am learning to enjoy the slow although we are very busy. To breathe and enjoy - maybe even forgo many ideas, goals and hopes I have until later. I will always have later but now is slipping away. I want my now with the three of them - every minute of it.