The other day I went out to eat with my friend her young teenage boy and the bean. We were chatting along then somehow the conversation got on the topic of my amazonian self.
My darling friend said very casually "yeah, you're an amazon."
My reply "yup, I am."
I love this woman for her frankness and comfort with such topics (body issues are just the tip of the iceberg). She has had body issues in the past and has embraced herself. Being around her and some other women lately who do not have social hang ups with talking about size weight and other body issues has been liberating. She realized that she did not want to be the thin woman or the woman with smaller boobs. Her body is beautiful and I will joke with her about her small ass any day.
Some folks in the past have tried to prescribe a "fix" or share their tips to a flatter tummy and a perky ass. With all their good intentions I am not looking to be fixed or told "no, your not big." I understand this response it is the socially acceptable thing to do and say. Unfortunately to me it seems like a washed out conversation. Why not say "yeah, you're a big girl. your husband loves your cottage cheese butt. work it."
If I really wanted to I would eat minimally and work out frantically and I could look like those airbrushed women that most strive for. I did work hard for that ideal body when I was 13 and ended up with a slimmer body and an eating disorder. I was so body obsessed in early college that I could hardly go out socially or to classes sometimes because I didn't look the way I wanted (fearing others judgment or ridicule heard and unheard- a kind of anthrophobia) . I am done with that. My body is a big part of who I was and who I am. (lol)
I am an almost six foot woman of Swedish and Scottish decent who packs a soft 218 lbs. When I talk about my size, or crack a joke about it I am not being self deprecating I am embracing it in my own backwards way. Laugh with me don't tell me to stop, or walk away with your fingers in your ears singing "LALALA - I don't hear you".
I do not want my daughter to idealize anything but her healthy self big or small. I do not want my son to have a limited view of femininity and beauty.
Laugh with me people, I am big and beautiful.
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5 comments:
amen my darling!
And when we ate out that day we ate A LOT!!
And I should say that we didn't even throw up after, which just goes to show how secure we are that can stuff ourselves and not throw up.
That reminds me, in the eighties which you probably don't remember very well being the sprout that you are, there was this punk band that played around called Bulimia Banquet and that name always made me chuckle.
I'm laughing with you, I'm laughing!
Uh, Yes, I would like to pounds of Turkey, macaroni salad, and 2 pounds of cottage cheese. Ma'am, we don't sell cottage cheese, that is the reflection of your thighs.
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After hearing this joke, every time I hear the reference to a body part as cottage cheese, makes me slightly ill at heart.
I have always thought you beautiful just how you are, my dear! And I agree completely, it's time to just accept who we are. I've even started to wear shoes that make me a few inches taller instead of being afraid to push that "already too tall" line.
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