Birth

I haven't posted about birth in awhile. I am not quite sure why but I needed to step back for a moment to think, observe, ponder, assess the freight train I have been on for the past few years in helping families in their path. I have come to realize that I had to take a step back to take three steps forward.

Recently I have realized great peace and personal growth that has come out of the chaos of the past few months of stepping back.

Last night I was back in the saddle - at a birth that is. I have only attended two births since September quite a change from my 2-3 a month that I had been doing along with teaching, homeschooling and a small massage practice.

This birth was perfect - really as perfect as could be. The couple is adorable and charming to spend time with. The mother incredibly strong and partner terrifically supportive. She was present and amazing. It was a pleasure and blessing to be able to be there with them.

Over the night, witnessing the coming of this new person into the world, I observed the scene - the birthing mom, her partner, the midwife, the apprentice, the cats and myself. The cats were female and very interested in the goings on during labor and not too sure after the birth when the sweet little baby cried. The midwife and apprentice we present, aware, assessing, charting and doing what they do. The partner was calm, quiet, trusting, loving and in awe of his wife and her amazing strength in her journey. The laboring mom was working hard, trusting the process, opening to all that is, moaning that baby down, leading us all down the road scared at moments but plowing forward towards the unknown. As for me- I offered my hands in helping her stay in her body then backing off when she asked, I offered kind calm words of support and strength to be a gust of wind in her billowing sails, I offered my heart full of love for the process and all the women that have come and will come down that rocky road, I offered my mindful presence to their experience and mine.

This crazy life is more than words, numbers, conversations and thoughts. There is something so large and amazing in the feeling of life and being able to experience the simplicity of life in its purist form. I love the unexplainable part of it all.

On the flip side of this time we call life, when I was present for my grandfathers passing last year it was very similar but instead of where are we headed it is where have we been and of course the presence of the unknown. The unknown that will forever test our blind faith.

I am starting to embrace my blind faith. I have a long way to go but I will always have a long way to go. I embrace not only the blind faith of it All but also the blind faith in myself. There is a path out there for me and I say now that I am open to the unknown. I let my mind drift to enjoy the moments between the surges that bring me forward on this rocky road.

We can choose to make it hard and tumultuous or we can choose to ride the wave.
For now I am choosing to ride, open and at peace with all that may come.