Perceptions

For a long time I was embarrassed to tell people where I grew up. I never felt like I fit in there as a young person and could not identify with much of anything or anyone there. I grew up in Birmingham, Michigan. More specifically I grew up in Beverly Hills, Michigan.

This weekend a woman I have known for a few years asked me where I was from and I answered honestly. I am from Birmingham. She paused and looked at me, I could almost see the wheels turning in her head. She replied "Really?". She went on about how she is very surprised to hear that and it may take her a bit to adjust. I laughed. She went on to tell me "...but you are so Ypsi.." I am not sure but that is but I took it as a compliment.

I am used to hearing "Really!? You don't seem like you are from there" when folks eventually find out where I am from. I am not going to get into what folks are like there because I know some wonderful folks in that area and do not want to stereotype but Birmingham does have a reputation. As does the town I live in now, but we will not go into that here.

As a young person I was resentful of not fitting in, I judged others frequently for being so "Birmingham", and it was painful most of the time growing up there knowing I just couldn't feign the airs of my peers. As time has past, I have settled into myself as a person and taken steps (stumbling along) to figure out who I am. Time has brought me the gift of acceptance and empathy for other perspectives no matter how different they may be from mine. I realize that I judged others because I was judging myself. I was not secure in who I was enough to be comfortable with others who were different or who believed different than myself.

Be it the woman with the highlights, liposuction, boob job, perfect make-up and nails dressed to a T or the man in the $1500 suit driving the Hummer or the homeless man on the corner with the sign that says "homeless need work" or the check out person at Kroger or the bus driver or the milk man or the owner of an upscale restaurant or a drag queen or my Jehovah's witness who visits me periodically - all of the people I come across in my life have something to offer me. It may be something about themselves they offer me, they may help me better understand myself or my perceptions or my behavior. They may test my patience and empathy. They may show me I am not as accepting as I would like to be or they may show me that love and beauty come in all different kinds of packages.

Every person I come across every day is a gift (including the guy who flips me off while driving down the road) :) and an opportunity to be a better person. No journey is easy or pain free - growth hurts, it is uncomfortable and it takes time but you do end up standing taller.