Tuesday, July 07, 2009

Order all I want is order.

I feel my garage is a physical manifestation of my brain. That is not good.

There is chaos, clutter, saved items for "someday" - oh my goodness it is my nightmare.

My brain feels the same - chaos, clutter, holding on to old ideas, habits, perceptions.

It is time to clean house and gray matter. I am starting to believe in simplifying. That things can wait until later, it all does not have to come now or be now. I don't have to hold on to things with the idea that it will make my goals and ideas come sooner. The things that are reminders don't usually help but hinder my well being by reminding me that I am not doing or being that at this time because really it just can't all be at the same time.

I would love to be everything I ever want to be RIGHT NOW but if I were to try to do that (as I have been trying) the toll is too high for the now.

So today I am taking things from my garage to the recycle center. Finding homes for stuff we don't need. Setting up boundaries in my work life and personal life. Finding value in myself everyday and forgiving myself when I mess up. I am great just the way I am today even though I am not all I want to be today, today I am all I should be.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yay for purging! I just recently purged and it was glorious... just like you. Glorious!

I'm gonna try to make it tomorrow and Friday, but things keep piling up and we keep having people come stay at our house and... yeah. So if I don't come, just know I'm there in spirit. And I'm really glad the Friday thing will be kinda regular, cuz I'm so there next week, at least. :)

onegoldensun said...

Your post relly speaks to me right now, as I feel so much of what you are describing! And my birthday is this coming week as well! My gloomy feeling over a lot of inner jumble seems just a bit clearer after reading your lovely blog. Warmest wishes and many thanks!