Male Doula

Another reason to absolutely LOVE Vince Vaughn!

"Talk about a guy who's money, Universal is all over Vince Vaughn following the success of The Break-Up ($205 million worldwide), and has decided to nail him down to a two-year, first-look producing deal with the studio. Vaughn helped produce The Break-Up, as well as brought Uni the idea for it, and so they feel there's a lot more where that came from. In fact, Vaughn's Wild West Picture Show Prods. has already lined up three features with the studio; all of which are potential starring vehicles for the actor. The first is a high-concept comedy called Male Doula. Based on Vaughn's own idea, the flick will be penned by Dana Fox. Since they're keeping this one under wraps, I decided to do a tad more investigating. What I found (via our sister site Parent Dish) was that a 'doula' is "someone who accompanies a woman in labor. She 'mothers the mother,' taking care of her emotional needs throughout childbirth." From what I've seen, a male doula is very rare, which immediately opens the subject up for tons of comedic potential."

link to whole article.

Professionally speaking this is good in my world. If it is not negative press it is good press! I dream of a day that any woman that wants or really needs a Doula but does not know it can have one or be hooked up with one.

I have picked up the book Born in the USA again and I am determined to truck through it now that Harry Potter is behind me. It gets my wheels spinning on the state of affairs in the birth world and where changes can be made for better outcomes that do not depend on the internal system. Doulas are a possible answer. Well trained, good hearted, positive, supportive doulas who love their work.

I have more to say but I feel like reading....

Baby!

Baby gecko that is. Big daddy is now the proud daddy to a two day old baby gargoyle gecko that he took care of as an egg that came from the two geckos kickin' it in the post a few weeks ago. YAY! after almost a decade of trying to make reptile babies we have one!!!!! If I ever get organized I will post a pic of his cuteness (the gecko not big daddy although both are worthy of the cuteness)

For Kim

At the farmers market there was this lady www.suchprettycolors.com
I thought of you. Especially the quilted stuff. And these other folks made really pretty little girls dresses and knitted the cutest hats.

I feel another package coming on. Been mentally making a cd for you ;)

Cherries and Peaches

This summer has been a wee bit crazy and it seems like the past few days have been moving in slow motion. The bean and I had a lazy morning as we are on pick up patrol today rather than drop off. We eventually took a bath together- the bean got a big kick out of washing my hair and she loves the jet action in the tub. The bean and I went to the A2 farmers market for the first time of the season believe it or not. It was a short trip but very enjoyable. Wonderful peaches (of which i only buy at the farmers market in season- bit of a snob about peaches) and delicious clothe staining cherries. YUM! Great green beans that have been my raw crunchy snack since I got home and a few other goodies. In the non-edible world I got 4 perineals for the back yard for $20. I just need to remember to water them. Frog- feel free to be my reminder on that -ha!

Teaching newborn infant care tonight of which I always feel under qualified to teach. It all works out though and L will be there to fill in if there are gaps. Looking to show a video so I am off to dive into the closet of crap to find it and pre-screen.

Btw- Donn is officially done with school for 2 weeks. YAY!!!

And for those who live close to me I have 5 bags of clothes that will be going to purple heart on Friday if you want to go through them.

I think the bean is ready for the monkey to come home and so am I.

Recovery

This weekend was like someone hit the fast forwards button. Here it is as it was:

Friday night I went up to read some HP. Mum comes up just before I was thinking of going to sleep and informs me that there is h2o in the basement again. I went down to check it out and try and help. Got on the phone with my heating and cooling friend (who put in the furnace and A/C on this house) and bribed him with sweet talking and a massage to come out from about an hour away to look at it for us in the morning. that night mum and I pulled up carpet, tried to dry it as much as possible but it was eventually time to just go to sleep. Mum had had a 80 hour week on about 3/4 hours sleep a night and she had to go in to work again Saturday morning. When it rains it pours. I felt really bad for her.

Saturday:
Woke up, made coffee, fed kids, showered, got a call from my doula client who was in early labor, buzzed around to get ready for my 10AM massage who showed up at 9:30AM. My heating & cooling friend showed just as she was getting off the table. He fixed the A/C as I was scheduling a meeting for 12:30pm for the last part of the dreaded (but really good fund raiser for the center) cookbook. Got my friend on the table and as soon as I finished with him my meeting showed up. Got another call form client- ditched my meeting at my house (they grabbed pics of my pooter for the project) and went to clients house. She was doing wonderful for a woman in labor. Jetted home after about 45 minutes to grab stuff for her and wrap up the meeting I was not at. Went back to client and labored with her at home and at the hospital until about 1:30 when baby was born (They did AWESOME!!! It was a beautiful birth.)
Sunday:
Baby born @ 1:30AM I leave 3:30AM. Two blocks from my bed in my house my phone rings. My other clients went into labor at about 1:30 AM. They were to get her in the tub to rest a bit. I went home emailed the center, at which I was to teach the next day, to inform her that I may not be there. (i really wanted to be there). Brush teeth go to hop in bed- Donn is in my spot, the bean is in his spot so I kick the dog out of her bed and sleep in the beans bed. The thought of the upcoming phone call made it difficult to fall asleep and just as I did at 5AM the phone rings. Off I go the birth. A bit hit at this moment. (All nighters are no big deal but back to back made the witching hour harder- the witching hour for me int his work is 4AM-7Am) Got to their house and they were doing great. In their groove and she was working hard. Labored at home with them and at the hospital and the baby arrived at noon. (another AWESOME BIRTH! )My class started at 1PM so I was doing good but I didn't have my car, it was at the clients house. So after all was done with the birth and the family was settled. A friend helped by picking me up and taking me to my car. Got to the center by 2:30-3ish (the class went until 5pm). we swapped out teachers and I was able to teach the last part of the class. Picked up chinese on the way home for the family and had a small going away party at our hose for our neighbors that are moving today. Put the kids to bed. Read the first chapter of the next Indian in the cupboard books and picked up my HP. Got though about a page before I passed out at 9:30pm.

It was all good and I have two births down for the month. I was not really sleepy except Sunday when I first got to my clients home. I don't know what it is about that time of day for my birth work but it is my down time. Both birth experiences with the midwives at the hospital were optimal. Really great. I am feeling good about things.

Also I am glad I made it to teaching. I am finally starting to get my groove. I got a great email from someone in my former classes- she wants to see me to see the baby and talk about the birth. She emphasized how she felt that the classes really made a difference to her. I love working with birth in this capacity.

The only bummer was that I did not get to hang out with the monkey this weekend. It feels like it has been forever since I have seen him between being out of town then him being in camp, which he has also this week. I miss the crazy monkey.

Also I remember how wonderful my husband is for when we get crazy days like these. He picks up the ball without flinching. He is awesome and always has been. And today is his last day of school for the semester!!! Two weeks off then back to the books but two weeks off! Maybe I will have a blip of off call time to get out of town with him for a night. I hope so.

Great News!!!

The Indian in the Cupboard is a series!!!

There are two stories that the monkey loves. He loved The book The Indian in the Cupboard and he loves the movie Jumanji. I got the picture book for Jumanji along with a few other books by Chris Van Allsburg from the library. Also got the next book in the Indian in the Cupboard series.
The monkey loved it so much that any book after was just not good enough. We tried reading Warriors, and Magyk- they just did not stack up to the Indian.

I am so excited I want to call the monkey at camp and tell him. whoohoo!!!

Another reason I homeschool...plastic baggies

The monkey has been in camp from 9-5 since Monday. It has been nice to have time alone with the bean although i have been sick as a dog and working every night.

It has been a real test thought, well maybe a trial, of what it would be like if the monkey were in school. I think I would hate it. As he is realizing how much he likes being home with me.

But the kicker is- I can not get these kids up and out of the house fed and ready to go on time to get to camp. When we were driving the teacher (because her car broke down) we of course were very early. But since she got her car back we have been 5-10 minutes late every day. It sucks having to be so functional every morning. lol.

Also the whole packed lunch thing makes me cuckoo. Kim sent me a link to the Laptop Lunches news letter which was perfect timing, she must have read my mind, because the number of plastic baggies i have used in the past week makes me uncomfortable. And trying to come up with variety for lunches that I pack after I get home from work at 10-11pm before I crash into bed just is not good. The little bugger also avoids eating any veggies I put in there....and he likes carrots. He did love the bean, salsa, avocado dip though. Ham sandwich ...not so much. So he has had a lot of sunflower butter and jelly sandwiches. Which on another off note makes me nervous him having so much gluten products with Celiac running in Donns family. Between eating a bfast bar in the car, sandwich cookies and crackers for lunch and who knows what for dinner. Most likely we are fine but I dread the idea of becoming a gluten free family. There was a scare there for a bit when Donn because allergic to eggs.

Most of all though I miss my monkey. He is crazy but that is what makes the days with him interesting. I think this is going to be a good year. I am going to try to do my own curriculum, using bit and pieces of things here and there. We will be using the book The Story of the World series starting this year. This link is also really helpful as to what I should be covering this year and resources for how to go about it. Donn is going to pick up some of the animal stuff with homeschooling at night while I am working. The bean is also old enough to work with us this year, last year was hard with her being two. Next year will be even better for her.

All in all this camp is great for a break from the monkey. For the monkey to get a break from us. But mostly to affirm that we really are doing what is right for us. It is not for everybody but we really like it and it works for our family. I am not saying it isn't insane and hard especially with Donn and I both working but it is where we want to be.

Recycling

I have always found great joy in recycling.

My new goal is to minimize the amount of non-recyclable trash. The Ann Arbor recycling center takes a few more items than our fair city. My approach is to set up different bins in the garage for everything from mixed paper- junk mail, used paper etc., Styrofoam- take away containers, packaging, etc., plastic bags (we have too many of those), corrugated cardboard, batteries, light bulbs, egg cartons, and so much more!

I would like to get down to one small bin of non-recyclable trash for our family of five per week.

We are also working towards converting all our house lighting to eco-friendly energy efficient light bulbs.

We are also going to be purchasing terra passes for our cars www.terrapass.com My car puts out over 18,000 lbs. of CO2 a year. Ouch!

Another small thing is taking the kids on garbage pick up walks. Thanks to our neighbor Michelle as inspiration.

I will post my progress on the garbage challenge.

my trip

It has been a week since I got home from my trip and much has happened. So only now do I feel like writing.
When I got home it was like a whirlwind of activity. My mother in law had come down to help with the kids while I was gone. I got home Wednesday night and my father in law came out Thursday night to pick her up and to see the kids. They spent the night (Donn and I went to go see HP and the power went out right at the good part at the end) Friday morning we took the kids out to get toys a t the Five and Dime for their birthday's. The bean's birthday was that Friday and they were making up for missing the monkey's bday. My brother and his family came out Friday morning to spend the night so we could take them to the airport Saturday early afternoon- they were moving to Florida. That in itself is kind of weird. The build up to their departure was hard on my mom but now that it is behind up things seem to be mellowing out. My in laws, who are just great I must say, left Friday afternoon. That Sunday I taught from 1-5 then had a consult that evening. Then Monday morning the monkey started his 2 week art and drama camp. 9-5 M-F for 2 weeks. Crazy. Good to have time alone with the bean. She is napping all of a sudden. She needs the break.
Monday news came that a family friends daughter who has been fighting leukemia since January had passed. She was just a baby. They had taken her home for hospice care on Friday. It was very sad.
Tuesday and Wednesday I was really ill but still taught. I love Advil cold and sinus. Tuesday night was really bad- hardly got a wink of sleep. Wednesday the bean was kind of on her own and she did a job of trashing the family room :) but she let mama nap and take a long bath to try to get rid of the snots. Doing good now.
Went grocery shopping for the first time in a few weeks today. Cleaned out the fridge and the pantry (much needed) and the bean is napping.
So, the trip. The drive was long but nice. I only got kind of antsy since from Chicago to St. Louis there is A LOT of corn fields. I listened to Neil Gaiman's Anansi Boys on books on CD. I had two other books but the one got me down there and a third of the way back.
I was very excited to get to the hotel although it was very busy- two weddings, a hs reunion and a family reunion were going on. I was lucky enough to have my own room for the trip. I looked into room sharing but my only option was to share a 2 king room with 3 other women i did not know. The organization I work for paid for the room and the woman I work with said that she would not ask me to do anything she would not do and she would not share a room with 3 other women she did not know. It was really nice to have a room to myself. I had a wee anxiety attack the first hour or so being away form my family. But my dear lovely friend Chucki who lives in St. Louis invited me to come out and meet him and two friends he had in visiting from Chicago for sushi and wine. It was so good to see Chucki. I don't think I had seen him since the monkey was born. Chucki was the first friend to come over and meet the monkey- he brought me tapioca pudding that day ;). Chucki lives in the cutest neighborhood, the architecture was beautiful. My goal is to get the whole family down to visit him sometime soon. That was a highlight of the trip.
Sunday morning I slept in, took my time getting up and ready for the day. I went walking around looking for the conference- found it and decided to go back to my room to read a great book a good friend had sent me the week before I left- The Gypsy Chronicles. It turns out the author lives in my town. I read for a bit then ended up meditating for over an hour. I have not been able to do that in years. It was great to just let my mind go.
Sunday at 2pm the training began. It went until 9pm Sunday. Then Monday 8am to 9pm and Tuesday 8am to 9pm and Wednesday 8am to noon. Then home I drove again.
The training was good. It was the third time I have sat through a Doula training (part of the trainer training is to sit in on others teaching a doula training). This one was taught by Kathy McGrath and Penny Simkin (a big name in the birth world). Kathy has a background as a social worker so she crafted emotional work into the training that I thought was very interesting. Penny is in her late 60's I would say, short and very spunky. I learned a lot about my work and even more about myself on this trip. The second night I was really missing my family. Fortunately the training kept me busy.
Some of the emotional work that came with the training brought up some things that I was not aware of. Well, maybe I was but I did not understand how much it was weighing on me. One activity was to think of a time that you needed to ask for help then you had to tell it to the person you were paired up with. The training is mostly women and many of us had a hard time admitting when we needed help. It was a two way activity of understanding how difficult it is for some to ask for help then also of active listening. There were a few other activities of this sort that led up to an activity called the ideal birth. In this activity you draw or write what your ideal birth would be. Mine was to have Donn be the primary person with me and to have some good friends in the house with me. It was not traditional as most- others were more specific of type of care provider, h2o birth, whatever.
This activity hit a chord with me. Although the beans birth by all means was perfect, there were some missing points. One in particular is that I really wanted Donn to be with me- I never asked that of him because I thought he didn't want to be there. Now I know that he would have been there for me and been great if I just asked. But where we were at that time was not the best place for such communication. I really wanted him there for me. I didn't feel the support that I wanted in that pregnancy from those close to me. Even with my midwives I thought it was lacking. I remember my midwife complaining that she had a headache when she did the newborn exam. They were only there 3 hours. (i didn't call them until right before she came out) It really is true that moms remember little details from their births. It was mostly because I didn't ask for what I needed. I don't even know if I knew for sure what I wanted- but I think I just wanted to have it feel special. I was to busy being polite instead of asking for what I wanted.
I know I should be content that the birth was straight forward and the bean is fine. I do feel guilty about critiquing how it went and how I wish it could have been. It does lead to a bigger picture though. One thing is how I communicate with Donn- I think it really would have made a difference in many things if I just told him that I needed him and that I wanted him to be there for me. It makes me think about those close to me in the big picture and how these relationships function.
Another light bulb that went off on this trip is that I am by nature a pretty quiet person. In having kids I have forced myself to be more social and chatty- which makes me more crazy, hyper sensitive and anxious. I like things simple and slow. I like to be in my head. I told Donn about this when I got home and his response was equivalent to- DUH (he concurred that I changed in being a mother).
It was bizarre to be away from my family for that time. It was nice to put a wedge in running on auto pilot trend that I have been functioning in for way too long. It was wonderful to come home though. The drive home was long but good- going in the right direction. It gave me a great appreciation for the trees in Michigan. It also makes me want to move to the K-zoo area from mid state to the west side of the state. I have friends that are planning on moving to K-zoo, I would love to live near them.
Arthur is over and now the bean and I are going for a walk.