i recently took the plunge and joined the washtenaw community college health and fitness center and I LOVE IT! i have been almost every day this week. now i am contemplating spending the money for the unlimited childcare. it is $35 a kid. the alternative is $10 for the first kid and $6 for the second PER VISIT. and if i do the unlimited it can just be part of our morning routine and i can go every day.
one thing that i noticed is that i am a wee bit tweeked by nudity. odd considering what i do for a living. it is no thing for me to see a naked woman in labor. i can support her, get on my knees and towel her off, clean the blood off her inner thighs, hands on help with breastfeeding..... i am all good. even when i give massages no big deal.
i was walking through the locker room at the wcc and i hear someone say "hi kate" i turned it was my neighbor and she was naked. i was taken by surprise- i felt my eye contact with her was like a five ton brick. we briefly chatted and i went around the corner to put things in a locker and walked back by her and she had her under garments on and i stopped to chat further.
every time i have gone to the fitness center i have changed in the one changing room they have there. when i get out of the shower i am ok walking through with the "oversized" towel wrapped around me. mind you this "oversized" towel barely fits around my amazon frame. i have a little peek-a-boo action on the side.
the interesting thing is that we are naked people at home. it has actually been a very conscious decision for me to have my children used to the naked body and not tweeked by nudity. i want them to feel comfortable in their bodies clothed or not. i do not want the naked form to be a mystery to them or to make them uncomfortable. a reaction maybe to my own upbringing.
another player into my reaction is the issues i have with my own body. i was a large kid in school since kindergarten. i was a size 14/16 by the age of 11. my mother and i would shop in the mens section of the gap and then then hemming at home. between that and my glasses that squished into my chubby cheeks, the fact i am a tall gal and my social awkwardness i was not swimming with friends. then i discovered my eating disorder, grew a bit and slimmed out- i was getting compliments left and right. i even had boys hitting on me - which totally freaked me out. (it still does actually - if it ever happened that is).
i have had body issues most of my life and struggled with food and negative body consciousness for 19 years. intellectually i know that it is irrational but the mind is a funny thing. the silly desire for a flat tummy, to be able to find fashionable clothes easily, the thought of not worrying about the belly roll (i do not care if the muffin top is "in" i just cant go there).... i have a friend that has a t-shirt that she got from henrietta farenheit that says "start a revolution stop hating your body" the funny thing about this is they dont make that tshirt big enough for ladies like me. it is american apparel sizing which is small medium and large for third world dwarves. i would like to wear hip t-shirts too (that are not mens tees).
i loved watching the "what not to wear show on tlc when they had a larger framed woman on and the hosts got schooled in the issue with fashion availability for larger women. it was great. and did you know that on average i have to pay $10 more for tall and plus size for clothes than the average jane. take note when you are looking at your next catalog of j. jill, eddie bauer or lands end. and most catalogs only go up to size 12 or 14 anyway.
so, i hope that maybe along with getting healthier and fitter maybe my experiences int he locker room can help me get over my body hangups.
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3 comments:
I LOL reading that you ran into your neighbor and she was naked. I can only imagine you standing with a stiff spine and eyes glued to hers! Ha! At any rate, I'm really glad you're able to work out. Sounds like the childcare investment is totally worth it. Hopefully your back will get stronger and you'll have better days because of it.
Oh. I can relate. I ran into my neighbor naked there too, but it was a really different experience. I was sitting in the sauna by myself when she trotted up to the suit-o-matic outside (I love saying suit-o-matic) and I waved a cheery hello through the glass. Then I thought, wow, that felt really normal to wave hello to my naked neighbor that I only know from seeing her walking her dog, always with lots of clothes on. I hope more naked neighborage goes by, I'm on a roll here.
I was a chunky kid and i was very, very self conscious about it. In school I always felt mortified if I had to get up in front of everybody, like they were all silently making fun of my fatness. Horrible! I've only recently stopped hiding my boobs, and I think it's because I realize that boobs do not = fat. Plus I think there's something about getting older that just makes me say fuck it. I also shed a lot of inhibitions when I gave birth and there was a whole room full of strangers there and I realized that I did not care who saw my twat.
You are amazon-like but you're totally hot too, so that just gives you that much more presence. So work it, own it! You've got it!
You should go for the childcare, it sounds like a good deal
I like the t-shirt quote... I wanted to make a new years resolution this year to stop hating my belly and maybe even love it and then I thought... if only it could make it easier... ha! guess I am not there yet.
Body issues seem pretty universal or common among everyone I know and it is really such a waste of life energy. If working out makes you feel good then go for the childcare cause feeling good about yourself is worth it.
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