I Am Moving

It is a time of change. I feel like chapters are closing and i am standing in front of many open doors. Where I will go I am unsure but it feels like time to put this chapter to rest and start a new.
Here is where you can find me.
Take care,
Kate

Dinner Outside

The odd early spring has been wonderful. We had our first family dinner outside while my in-laws were visiting. Yay!

Ready for May

This month was one of much working, a break and firsts.
Two weeks ago we had our first bout of lice. Laying in the hammock reading to Ella and she scratched her head a bit more vigorously than usual. I took a peek and there it was her traveling pet upon her head. A lice.
To say the least i got immediately itchy. We popped out of the hammock and I found Sam to check his head - affirmative. I texted Donn the news, grabbed garbage bags and started loading up all our bedding and recent clothing. Off to Mr. Staduim Laundry mat we went. While cleaning the clothes I took to treating the kids. Spray, nit combs and later that night Cetaphil facial cleanser, a trick passed on from some other moms.
Even before we left for Mr. Staduim, Donn was home to shave his hair off and go back to work. I found this funny. Lucking I have very little hair to worry about. It could not be better timing for me.
Four hours later we got home got fed and I was off to work tired from the days labors.

One week and two days later Ella wakes up with SPOTS! Chicken pox. Later that day Sam is spotty. So here we are on day three of quarantine. *sigh*

I am ready for May.

Making Nests

I took this idea from 5 Orange Potatoes

Yay Spring!


Mine

Sam's Camouflage

Ella's Beauty

The Fairy House

Eating Area

Camp Site

House, Path and Garden

Garden Gate

Broom and Walking Sitcks

Homeschool Notes

I am lovin' Joy Hakim today.

We listened to A History of US The First Americans Prehistory - 1600 and LOVED it! And yesterday my friend Syndallas introduced her The Story of Science Series with workbooks.

Now if I could only get organized to implement this stuff :) The kids will be at a week day camp in April and I plan to gut the chaotic playroom in hopes to find motivation and order.

I seek OOOORRRRRDDDDDEEEEERRRRR!!!!

New Old Friend

It has been surprisingly liberating and wonderful to live without hair for the past week.

I think back on one week ago today and my hesitations about what the night was to bring. It is like having a baby, it seems like so long ago and I can remember what it was like to have hair but it is kind of abstract. This was not the most life changing thing I have done in my life but it was surely one of the most liberating and surprisingly empowering.

It was not just shaving my head either. It was also that I accomplished my goal of raising $3000 for St. Baldrick's. When I set that goal I thought it might be a little lofty and wondered if I was setting myself up for disappointment (I am competitive even with myself). Not only did I raise $3000 I passed that goal.

It was also not just shaving my head but doing it in public on a stage, in a crowded bar on St. Patrick's day with folks taking photos, and sticking microphones in my face as I do one of the most vulnerable things for me - exposing myself. Granted it was not nudity but it kind of felt like it. Maybe I can equate it to going topless. I have never been one to go topless in public (I am surprisingly physically modest) so I am only guessing.

Though during the cutting I did not get emotional except for one time, when the woman with the microphone asked me how much money I raised. For some reason that question choked me up. Other questions were "Why was I doing this?" answer - "Because it felt right." "Where did I hear about St. Baldrick's?" answer - "Emiliy MacBeth" I was a woman of few words that night but that one question got me. I can't quite figure out why. I can only guess that it brought me close to that thin part of me that thinks of all the children and families that are struck by cancer and other challenges.

Before, during and after being shorn I didn't know how I would look, if folks would judge or laugh. I kind of felt like I was in kindergarten on the first day of school. It was kind of terrifying but exciting at the same time. After they shaved my head, of which both of my children assisted, they put a salon hand mirror in from of my face. I was only able to see the left upper quadrant of my head when I looked down and said "OH, SHIT!" I was smiling but I was very overwhelmed. I was not able to look at it yet. My emotions had not caught up yet with what was going on around me and to me. Unfortunately one entire wall of the room I was in was mirrors so it took a good effort to keep from looking. About a half hour later after we had sat down and had something to eat I excused myself to the bathroom of the bar and grill to take my first real look. Surrounded by intoxicated women having random conversations I looked at myself for the first time top naked. A smile came over me as if I were meeting a new part of myself for the first time in that crowded bathroom.

A number of folks kindly tried to reassure me before the day of the event that it would go fine and it is no big deal. I understand thier perspective and intention but it is a big deal.

I strongly feel there are many things through out our lives that we dismiss as "not a big deal" when really if we stop we find that there is growth, or a lesson, or just plain beauty to be found in small (or big) events that can make amazing change. Not to sound cliche but we need to stop and smell the flowers, to experience all the experiences be it a rose, a stink flower, a pine tree or a compost pile. It is the accumulation of the little things, the "no big deals", that really make us who we are.

Last week I met an new old friend, me.

Bald for St. Baldricks $3000

Well, I raised over $3000 to chop my locks. The most expensive hair cut ever.

Some funds are still on their way to my tally on my official St. Baldrick's website. Check out some pictures there of my new doo. Also I am posting about my experience on my bald blog.

I love being bald and don't know if I am going to go back. The little bean will not be happy about that But the Monkey loves my short hair. We shall see....

Flashback and Google Sites

Changing over the laundry this morning I had a memory flashback of something the Monkey said to me when he was little.
It went like this
Mom: 'Monkey, you are driving me nuts.'
Monkey: 'No momma, you drive my nuts!'

This is a great way to start the day.

On another note I must share that I have discovered (it was introduced to me really) Google Sites.

Two other homeschool moms I know showed me this on Tuesday. I was skeptical as I usually am of technology. While at the Tuesday play date I got on my friends computer to check it out. By the end of the afternoon I had set the monkey up with his homeschool website complete with the weeks schedule, his school work for each day, a list of links to his school work sites, a clock, a calendar, and a virtual spider. By the end of the day I had created another page on the site for a house calendar so everyone in the house can be on the same page (we have 3 adults in our house, we live with my mother). By the end of last night I added a page for the Bean complete with Her websites, vocabulary list and pictures of cats. I also added a Cafeteria site that lists our food deliveries, Door to Door and Calder and there is a grocery list for everyone to add to when they see we are out of anything. Then I though to make a chores page called the TaskMaster with lists of household chores, hourse maintenance, and long term project. Tonight I want to add a page that lists the places we have memberships to and when those memberships expire. For example - zoo's, museums, parks and rec, websites, etc.

This is all stuff I have on lists all over the place, including my head. My hope (!) Is that this will help me organize and RELAX as we walk through our ridiculously busy days. I often get my hopes up that things will make our life more managable but this time maybe....just maybe.....it will be true.

Blogging About My Journey to Baldness

I have had many thoughts on shaving my head for St. Baldrick's so I started a seperate blog for just these thoughts on my journey to baldness and beyond.

The Bald Project

If you have not donated do it. I will give you good reading along the way.

Thanks,
Kate

Shaving my head in solidarity and for money

Ah the silly things I do.
But this one is not so silly.

This St. Patrick's Day, March 17th, I will be shaving my head (razor shaved bald really) in solidarity with children who have cancer and typically lose their hair during treatment, while raising critical funds for childhood cancer research!

In the US, more children die of childhood cancer than any other disease. Please make a donation on my behalf to support childhood cancer research so that all children diagnosed with cancer will have a better chance for a cure.


Emily, who has organized the event at the Uptown Grille in Commerce MI, lost her daughter at the age of two to Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. Her daughter would have been 11 this years old this year. Emily is an amazing and strong woman who has lived through my worst nightmare. My heart goes out to her and all the families that deal with the struggles of cancer everyday.

To make a donation, go to my St. Baldricks page and click on "Make A Donation" or donate by mail or phone.

Thank you for your support!

P.S. I will be donating my hair to make wigs for kids in need.

--------

About St. Baldrick's

Since 2005 alone, when the St. Baldrick’s Foundation became an independent charity approximately 196 research grants, totaling more than $41.7 million have been awarded to enable doctors and scientists at more than 230 institutions to pursue the most promising new cures for childhood cancer and to help make clinical trials available to more children than ever.

But the ultimate goal of the St. Baldrick’s Foundation has not been achieved – the goal to cure childhood cancer. Until that day, we will continue to work with you – our volunteers and donors – to fund the best and most promising research to achieve that goal.

*Note the # of make shavees to female shavees*

Savory Oatmeal

My breakfast has become ritual. A ritual most everyone makes that scrunched up EWWW face at. Most folks think of oatmeal with brown sugar, raisins, or some other sweet item. I think of oatmeal with and over easy egg, Franks hot sauce, a diced tomato and a little garlic salt. YUM!

This has been my breakfast almost everyday for 5 months. Today I have no eggs and I am sad. So instead of eating it I am writing about it.

I miss you hot egg oatmeal breakfast. You make me feel so good through the day and Frank, you give me the boost I need to wake up in the morning. Today I must settle for leftover sour cream pineapple cake (Grandma McPherson's recipe). So sad I am that I am not having my hot egg oat love. *sigh*

The Lightning Theif

I am so EXCITED! The Monkey and I started reading this book today. We whipped through 5 chapters and I wanted more more more. It was so inspiring that we went to the library this afternoon to get books on Greek gods to further inform ourselves on the characters.

It is the first book of the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series by Rick Riordan and no offense to J.K. Rowling I am liking it better than H.P. I know it is just the beginning but I have not come across a book that captured me like this in a looooong time. The two of us were on the edge of our seat. I am seriously resisting reading ahead after the kids go to sleep. I know though I am a one time reader (unlike my husband and others I know who read books again and again and again). I think one time reading is a possible trait of a slow reader. I am a snail slow reader but I seem to get more than the speedy folk. Slow and steady gets the details. So that being said and the fact that this is definitely a story I want to experience with my kids - I shall resist the temptation of reading ahead.

Apparently I just learned that they made a movie of this book that is scheduled to come out February 12th. It looks like we hopped on this gravy train just in time.

The Bean Labeling EVERYTHING

She loves to write and we had a labeling day.
She even labeled the lego house that we worked on over the holidays. Now I love Hellboy (the comic and movie) but I didn't know I was married to Helldad.

Night Sledding

From our night sledding trip with the J-S clan

Not My Placenta...

Yesterday we had a lovely play date with some new friends. While they visited I made Moosewood's Russian Cabbage Borscht. There was more than enough to share with our guests so I jarred some up for her and decided to make a grocery bag for her from our freezer bounty from the summer. Verde, Glut sauce, Greens and even a can of jalapaneos.

As I was digging through the garage freezer I found in the back a plastic target bag. Hmmmm.... what could that be. I dug back and brought it out for further inspection. It looked like two bags of pureed berries (the lighting was bad) or meat or just a mystery item. Then I flipped it over to find an umbilical cord. A placenta!
They aren't mine though. That is a mystery. I think either they are from the placenta workshop I hostes a couple of years back or they are from my friend who could have thrown them in there when she came over once for a play date. (coming from births that is)

(my husband just told me that in the white tubs in the freezer are frozen pipa pipa's which are underwater frogs otherwise known as surnam toads - why are they frozen i asked. the answer - because they are cool. and apparently there is the carcass of a dove that died from flying into our kitchen window four years ago...... I thought we burried that a couple years ago, apparently not.)

The Hamster Incident

For most families hamsters are a nice experiment into pets. A harmless practice of taking care of another living thing.

I remember my first hamster, Egon. Yes it was in the Ghostbusters era and even at an early age I had a "thing" for science nerds. Egon was a teddy bear hamster that I would play with, take photos of, and make pictures for his cage. It was a great experience for me as a kid.

In my house hamsters have come to mean something else.

Last summer we bought the kids two dwarf hamsters, Hagrid and Curious. They were great .... for awhile. Curious was a bit easier to handle and the Bean especially loved to hold him and play with him. Then one day Curious had part of his ear missing. Hmmm ...... maybe they got into a tiff. I thoughts little of it. The a few days later his eye was scratched and swollen shut. This brought more alarm but then again they are hamsters. What am I going to do?

Then there was that sunny afternoon that the Bean came out to me and said "Mama, the hamster isn't moving and is laying in his cage like this." At which point she did the classic dead animal pose with the legs up in the air. My mental response was "Aw, shit." but my verbal response was "Ok honey, you stay here and I will go check on the hamster."

I went upstairs to peak in the cage and not only was the hamster dead but it's brain was eaten out. EWWWWW! (Although slightly fascinated by the fact I could see the inside of the hamsters skull.) As not to leave the corpse with the remaining hamster I put it in a yogurt cup to be disposed of later. The kids wanted a proper burial for their darling Curious.

Hagrid didn't get much love after that incident and died of natural causes a few months later.

Then were were on to Hamster Experience 2.0, what I was unaware of as my husband and children ventured off to get two more hamsters is that my savvy children would talk their dad into getting a male and a female hamster so they could start a business. (mind you my kids are 5 and 8 and my husband and I are already over committed to work and school - free time is not a luxury we are familiar with)

For awhile we were not positive that they were a female and a male. But just a few days before we were leaving for 10 days to Florida there were babies! It was alright timing as we could do nothing until they had fur. Fine, good ..... right? Well, upon our return from Florida the baby hamsters had fur but the momma hamster had MORE BABIES!!! *roll of the eyes*

Out of those two batches of babies three survived so we were housing 5 hamsters. We moved the known mom to her own cage but since I am not familiar with hamster sexing I procrastinated and in the end I paid the price.

Two nights ago I found another batch of babies in the hamster cage and upon further inspection it turns out TWO hamsters had litters at the same time! I removed the hamsters that I believed not to be the birthing mothers and was thankfully correct in my selection. So now we have the original mother in her own cage, the original father and one other hamster in another cage and the two recent birthing mothers in a cage with their off spring.

My husband is taking no responsibility of this breeding frenzy, claiming the children BEGGED him to get a male and a female for their business endeavor and it should be up to them to figure out what to do. Well, I don't buy it.

So anyone who wants a hamster they will be ready in two weeks for $5 each (and I may even pay someone $5 to take them!)

SAVE ME!!!

Today the Monkey is NINE

Today my baby is nine. He is four foot nine inches and 85 pounds.
I can still pick him up and hold him in my arms.
He says '"Momma, soon you wont be able to pick me up anymore."
I reply "Oh yes I will. I will go get stronger so I can hold my baby."
He says "Momma, I don't wan tot grow up. I want to stay 9."
I reply "I know baby but think of all the amazing journeys you will have."
He hugs me tight and I hug him back with all my might.
Happy birthday Monkey.
I love you to the moon and to infinity.

The Unspeakable.

Yesterday was one of those days for no apparent reason. I can speculate that it was the post holiday hangover. I had gotten very used to Big Daddy being home and us hanging out as a family. It was awesome! Also all of our big plans have come and gone, nothing is yet planned for 2010 for me to look forward to. So it is back to the daily routine - kids by day, work by night, husband in the cracks between. That is depressing.

There are days that every parent would like to check out. Heck there are weeks every parent would like to check out. Isn't the old saying 'it is the hardest job you will ever love'. Or something like that. Well I am also here to say it can also be the hardest job you will ever hate. Don't get me wrong I love my kids and love the life we have made with them but honestly I need to be able to say that. Especially as a homeschooler it is unrelenting and there are days I wish I could take a sick day, crawl into bed with a good book and a box of cookies and nap the day away. They are not that often but the do exist (especially in the winter in Michigan).

Now as a homeschooler I feel like I am not allowed to vent about
1. being an overwhelmed parent
2. not having enough free time
3. not having enough time with my partner
4. being occasionally financially tight

The common response to these ventings (an we all need to vent now and then) is
"Have you thought of putting your kids in school? It may make things easier?"
or
"Well you have made choices to get you here. You need to deal with it."

Upon hearing these my brain screams
"OF COURSE I HAVE THOUGHT OF IT! AND NO IT IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN! And I really don't think it would be easier, just a more acceptable set of complaints to talk to you about."
and
"You suck. I am never talking to you again."

I must say there are blogs I would love to follow, although I won't list them here. They are so sweet and creative ans snazzy looking but when it comes down to it they make me feel like shit. The mom I am not and never could be. I am a chaotic mom heading in 10,000 directions, a reluctant unschooler who can hardly remember to brush her teeth. I look at the beautiful pictures of the felting crafts, kids making drums out of everyday stuff, making stamps outo f potatoes, it is all so lovely...almost like it is staged. I am not saying it is staged but I have to remind myself that the blogger is painting a picture of their life and there is a lot more to the picture. They get crabby, they have temper tantrums, they fart, they have bad hair days and I am sure their house is not always that sparkly clean.

I am not here to paint a pretty picture, although pretty pictures do have their place - I love to look at them, I am here to finger paint with pudding, mud and sometmes blood. Many days I have thought of the movie The Hours (a great movie) in which there is a mother who checks out and leaves her family instead of killing herself. I can assure you I could not ever do that but some days I can relate to the Laura character who suffers from inner turmoil as a mother.

Over the holidays my awesome mother in law shared with me that there was a time that she was ready to check out from her family. She longed to be a mother her whole life and had her babies as soon as she could and very close together. She wanted a huge family but couldn't for heath reasons but she did end up with four in all. It was a breath of fresh air to hear her say that she had her crap times too. That it was not all roses and sunshine.

Many women of her generation seem to wax poetic about their childrearing years. I know it is easier to remember the good stuff but that kind of washed out legacy does no favor to us who are in the thick of parenting. I hope I remember to tell my kids about the good and the bad and that they are awesome even on their worst days as parents (if they choose to be parents). The fact that we stick around through the crap and love them although we may not like them that makes us great not the rosie painting of the day, potato stamps and homemade cupcakes.

Last day of the Staycation

It is the last day of our family staycation. We are topping it off with friends over for a daddy burrito dinner. Bitter sweet it is to get back to the routines of life. I have LOVED having big daddy home. It has been great to reconnect. With his work and school schedule and my work schedule and the kids our life is a never ending fly by.

This week I let the house go to crap. I tossed the To Do list out the window and relaxed for what seems like the first time in 10 years. I didn't clean up from Christmas morning for about three or four days. There were sleep overs, late nights at friends houses, and a bunch of nothing doing.

Extended staycations are now on the family to do list. It is a great recharge to get through the fly by times. Big daddy and I are much better when we actually see eachother and can spend time together. It is good to know we still got it - Whew!

I am looking forward to 2010. It seems like we are/ have been morphing into the next phase of our family life. We are the parents of kids. There are no babies in the house. We are all reconnecting and finally getting on the same page. I am geeked for what is to come.

This coming year is the last year of single digits for the Monkey and it is our tenth wedding anneversary. Whoohoo!

I am starting to plan the garden of 2010. We are getting a quarter cow for the first time in mid-January. I am really looking into sustainable composting for our family and calling in help from seasoned verterans. I am as always looking at how we homeschool and what works (lol). I am rediscovering myself. I am rediscovering music. I am getting OWL (Our Whole Lives - sexuality education training) trained this March. I am on call for 4 births total this year, one of which is a twin birth which will be my first. We are going to try ot get down to Kansas City to visit my sister-in-law and her family for the first time and hopefully up to Marquette to visit the other sister-in-law and her family. I am going to start making jewelry again this year. With great help The Birth Project will grow and become the amazing presence (thanks to the help of the amazing Jenna Brand).

t will be a great year and a superb start to the next decade of amazingness.