A Blustery Day

All I could think of yesterday was - while most children are in warm classrooms Jen and I trucked our kids out in the 52 degree rain and wind to go raspberry and apple picking.

The bounty was limited. Who knew the worst day to go berry picking was Monday. I was hell bent for harvest though. I sent Jen in to warm the children with donuts and cider. I was determined to have enough berries to make two jars of jam. With wet to the skin jeans and a cold nose like Rudolph I emerged from the berry patch with one basket of berries, 4 cups to be exact. Just enough for three jars of jam. A great day indeed.

Lesson learned. Never believe someone when they say you will most likely not be able to get any berries. And sometimes the weather man is right.

Banned Book Week

The amazing Jen is always on the ball. She has brought it to my attention that it is indeed banned book week.

Read her post love the links and for sure watch the Fabulous Puppet Masterpiece!

Read it up!

Weekend Shutdown

This past weekend was super social and super productive.

The sewing bug has crawled up my pant leg again and I am so excited. This weekend I whipped up a closet curtain for the Bean's closet since it is very difficult for her to open her doors. I also made a half curtain for our bedroom. I am still looking for complimentary fabric to recover our bed pillows. I also tossed together a cute little hand bag, for whom I am not sure. Last, and what I am still working on is a shower curtain and matching window curtain for the upstairs bathroom.

I will post pictures very soon. I wanted to get them hung first before I post but I cannot seem to find time to get up to the store to get rods. It will happen soon though or I will explode.

As far as the social butterfly action this weekend it was crazy. Friday was an impromptu hanging out and watching Ghostbusters with friends. Saturday was a dinner party with friends and Sunday was a going away party for a woman I had met only a few times but who was living with a lovely friends of ours. It all was a bit too much but nice to see people.

I am very thankful for the great people in our lives and all the love they give but part of me just wanted to hole up and sew all weekend long. It was definitely a hyper focused weekend on sewing. It is my meditation. It allows my brain to shut off for a bit. It makes me happy.

My Messed up Toof

Here are how my teeth usually look. Not perfect but not bad. Then a couple of weeks ago something was starting to come loose. Not the bolts in my head but my partially fake front tooth. I figured it would hold until my bi-annual dentist appointment that was this week but one night last week mindlessly flossing I popped it out.


Then I looked like the photo below. Big Daddy HATES it when it is out and lucky for him I can put my fake portion back in. I had my bi-annual cleaning dental appointment this week and I took it out so they could clean around it. She said she would need 40 minutes to fix it. Not bad. I head to the desk at the end of the appointment and they schedule my fix-it appointment for October 13th! So I get to hope that I don't inhale or swallow the partial in the next three weeks.

I probably could have made a stink to move it closer but I kind of like the idea of being able to take it out to mess with folks.

I also would love to run a day long behavioral science experiment with my kids. Pick a day where I would have my tooth out all day and we would run errands, go out to eat and do stuff where we came in contact with people and tally how many people mentioned my tooth and figure the percentages. Compare our results to our hypothesis. Test out the scientific method in real life.


(how this originally happened was that i was tripped on the playground in the fifth grade by a boy and i fell face first into the dirt but i am a tough cookie. apparently i needed to try something new since a few years earlier i kicked the habit of splitting my chin open to get stitches)

A Day of Other People Schooling My Kids

One thing that is brought up occasionally about homeschooling is "Shouldn't your kids get exposure to other people teaching them? For other opinions and experiences..... something outside those of the parents. To diversify their education." My answer - Absolutely!

Other than the fact that it happens all the time in unorganized ways here are just two examples of community homeschooling.


This is RM in her delightfully colorful home teaching science from Building Foundations of Scientific Understanding by Dr. Bernard Nebel. I get to teach the next session..whoohoo! Today they were playing around with the concept of liquid, solids and gases. This was more for the younger kids but Monkey thought he would join on the fun in too. It was all fun and games until after the lesson they started blowing up the balloons up and letting them fly all over the room and after awhile the balloon just became a vehicle for spraying spit all over the room.


Then it was off to Dungeons and Dragons at L's house. She leads this group and I am so thankful to her. She is wonderful! Monkey looks forward to D&D every week. It helps with math, history, geography, imagination, teamwork, and even writing poetry.

Off topic: I also wanted to share my off the hip review session while making lunch two days ago. I was whipping up some macaroni and cheese when Monkey and his friend walked in. I started asking about the continents that we had been learning and then I moved into the earth. On a whim I grabbed a chop stick and stabbed a nearby potato. The kids were a little shocked by my sudden movement. Then I grabbed a sharpie marker and drew line on it.


I proceeded to ask about the hemispheres, axis, equator, seasons and the tilt of the axis, rotation around axis, rotation around the earth - all this revolving around an IKEA kids cup.

(in the background you see writing on the wall. we have lived in our house for almost five years and the family has never been painted and half the wall paper is still on the wall. i have resigned to the fact that it will never get painted so i have started to write on it. in the background is a brief synopsis of the precambrian and cambrian period)

Grocery Day

Grocery day was yesterday. This time of year it is much more that just going to a grocery store.

We went to the wonderful Ann Arbor farmers market first. The kids bought $1 snow cones from a lovely woman Carol who just shined with pleasure at giving the kids this cold yummy treat. I made three trips to the car, having to drop off produce so I could go get more. Cabbage, Apples, carrots, radishes, leeks, raspberries, lettuce, two dozen eggs, cauliflower, cherry tomatoes, patty pans, onions, potatoes, melon and of course apple cider.

Then we went out to the garden. My intent was to just get more kale (to make kale chips of course!) but I found more tomatoes, melon, zucchini, green peppers and a few beets. I made sure I walked right past the ever producing jalapeno plants. I still have a whole big bowl in the garage fridge to process.

Finally it was off to Trader Joe's for the rest - Milk, cheese, chips, salsa (the kind the kids will eat), and a few other things. Although we may sign up again for home Calder Dairy delivery... we miss Stan the delivery man and the great milk, sour cream, cottage cheese.....I am drooling just thinking about it. If you live in SE Michigan and you have not tried Calder products you are missing out on some Michigan greatness!

When I got home it took me almost two hours to put away and clean up all the food to be stored. It was lovely.

When I was done I felt so good and full and blessed. Good food makes me happy.

Tonight for dinner - sauteed patty pan with carrot, onion and garlic with a side of tomato mozzarella basil salad. Happy Happy Happy.


(and I whipped up two jars of raspberry jam- yummy!)

Autumn Begins

Pep Talk To Self & A Reminder

It is amazing how things break down so quickly. What I am saying is that we are unschoolers.

I am going to use the curriculum's that we have as sources every once in awhile but school at homers we are not.

I do ask myself why every year I seem to go through this - try to be regimented and scheduled in learning? Why is it so hard for me to let go?

I get tired of trying to answer the questions-
"What kind of testing is done to make sure your child is up to par?"
"Where does your child stand in comparison to kids in school?"
"What are their weaknesses and strengths in comparison to school kids?"
"Are you sure they are learning what they are supposed to?"
and so on.

My faith founders every September but by October we are back to our natural groove.

Today we were driving in the car and Monkey asks out of the blue "Mom, how do we know atoms exist?" My reply was that I didn't know but dad would be a great person to ask that question or we can look it up when we get home or sometime this week.

It is moments like these that smack me over the head that we are learning all the time. The most important thing is to ensure that they hold on to the curiosity to learn and the desire to ask questions. Not to make sure that every kid is learning the same thing at the same time. Life is not a race it is a journey with the only beginning and end being birth and death. I do not want my kids or myself to dread any part of their day. That does not mean that they don't have to do things that are difficult but if they are doing something difficult they should have a good reason for doing it. Dreading going to school or schooling at home does not help the learning process for us.

Then there is also the statement "children need structure."

Some structure in life is helpful. Dad goes to work M-F 7ish-5ish. Mom works M-W at night. Friday is homeschool group and we have pizza for dinner. Sunday is church. That is just enough structure for our house. Every day they ask what we are doing that day so they know. Sometimes they ask the night before. That is enough. When people are over structured is it possible that they lose the ability to be flexible, easy going, go with the flow? Could getting used to being over structured cause the anxiety of unstructured time? Are we as adults projecting our discomfort with unstructured time onto our kids? Is it that kids with unstructured time seem a bit adventurous, high energy, creative, uncontrolled and that is difficult for most adults to be around? I don't know but my kids seem to be doing fine.

I find myself going back to my original thoughts about school-
Who invented the standards that the kids are supposed to be meeting by X time in their development?
How is that the same for all kids?
Who decided what kids should know? What information is important?
How is school a good example of socialization?
How does school prepare them for life on the outside?

I am a non-conformist and that in itself goes to the root of unschooling - ASK QUESTIONS. I find it very hard to take anything at face value. I have a great need to ask why? Why is it that way? Why should I do what you say? (asked very politely of course) Why should I do that? Why does everyone do it? Why isn't anyone else asking why?

The path of non-conformity does make it more difficult and it is a choice I make and it is not for everyone but it is right for me. I choose to be accountable for my kid's education I can blame no one else if something goes not "wrong" because I cut this path. I cannot blame a bad teacher or the school system.

Accountability is not an easy package to carry and it can be even harder when one is swimming upstream. I am very lucky to have wonderful supportive families walking next to me on their path that they are cutting. And I like to picture us all tromping along singing Supertramps "The Logical Song".

Dar a Luz

I have recently been introduced to this organization by a woman who is training to be a Network Leader.

Dar a Luz

Check it out and pass it on.

Moms with ADD

Moms With ADD: A Self-Help Manual by Christine A. Adamee

I bought this book 5 years ago. I read about 25 pages and got distracted by something shiny.

Recently I have picked it up again in hopes to actually finish it. (and no I have not finished Birth Day, yet)

This book is like a hug and a voice saying "It's ok sugar, you are not a bad mom you are just a different kind of mom." Something I could really use right now.

I was diagnosed ADD when I was 18 after years of therapists and testing, trying to figure out why I did not quite function like others. Females being diagnosed as ADD is less common and being diagnosed at an older age was also unique. I was put on Ritalin and I could focus better but I felt like I was stuffed with a fog. It calmed me down and I could read easier but I had less ideas to distract me and I was not sure about that. After awhile I decided I did not like it much at all, it was like part of my personalty was cut out. Like phantom limb but phantom personality.

I did not like being labeled ADD so I looked at it as a personality type rather than a disorder. Or maybe a really weird super power. Depression was also something I struggled through in the time as a young adult out on my own. That time was more like swimming in chaos (as most do in their 20's). Three colleges (I kept dropping out when I would hit rock bottom) and 7 years for me to get a college degree. It probably would have been easier to be medicated during this time but it just did not feel right to me.

Even now I have professionals and friends recommend that I try medication. I have had times where I seriously considered it but after all the factors are taken into account it still is not for me.

So here I am reading a self-help book to find more tools to help me stay sane and keep all the amazing things about being ADD.

In the book there is a section on how to handle your children being in school and what works for everyone. She talks about public schools but also introduces charter schools and then I noticed that she lists homeschool as an option! I was instantly geeked to see a bit on homeschooling as an ADD mom.

The excitement was short lived as I flipped to page 135:

"This section is a very short section, because I could find nothing on homeschooling in regards to moms with ADD. In fact, it seems to me that homeschooling would be very difficult for a mother who has ADD herself. At one point my son asked me to homeschool him, and I nearly burst into laughter. I know teaching a child takes a certain regimine and structure, and I also knew it was beyond my capabilities. I told him that it was really not a good idea, because I didn't know how to teach children and didn't think I could learn it, especially 'on the job.'

It is possible that some might be able to handle homeschooling. One mother did tell me that she was homeschooling her children. I suspect, however, that for most of us, it's not a very good idea."

WOW! Talk about deflating. Luckily I like to defy the odds, I am stubborn and I believe in my kids ability to learn in non-traditional ways. The compliments I get on my kids are enough to tell me that I am not doing all that bad.

I am determined to read this entire book. It is full of great insight and tools... even if she is a gray cloud on my parade at times. I will get distracted and forget about the gray cloud by tomorrow anyway.

Work and Homeschool

Everyday I try to do the best I can with what I have and much of the time I feel I fall short but that is the curse of parenting for me. I just can't seem to shake it.

As a homeschooling and working parent there just doesn't seem to be enough time to catch up and figure out what the heck I am doing. Along with that is the guilt that any free time I may get I should be planning, cleaning, or working. Breath and let it go Kate.....
~~~
I cannot homeschool 5 days a week. Mondays are especially poopy since I leave for as early as 1pm depending on when my appointments are and I do not get home until 9:30pm. I am still working on reliable childcare for the kids on Monday, right now I am flying by the seat of my pants and gracious friends. Tuesday and Wednesday evening I also work and every other Thursday and some times on the weekends.

We are in a reassessment stage post the first week.

I must admit this happens every year and in the past we have degraded (or upgraded) to unschooling. This year I am trying to find a nice place in between.

This may be obvious to most of you but I took me a bit to figure out that just becasue I have a 5 day curriculum does not mean I have to homeschool 5 days a week. With this new information we are going to try 3 days a week and see how it goes. I am thinking of this as a unschool/homeschool hybrid. This also will offer us some flexibility in our week.

For example today I am watching a friends child starting at 9am to 1pm which is prime homeschool time. Today we are not going to homeschool but we will Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. While the Monkey is playing the bean and I will be busting out her sewing machine and whipping up......something.

Pantry Cooking: Black Bean Goodness

Pantry cooking is the art of being able to make something amazing out of random ingredients found in the pantry or refrigerator. As a habit I put off grocery shopping until we are really down to the bare bones. My family is not fond of this strategy but it keeps down the grocery bill.

Today's Pantry Fare is some Black Bean Goodness:
(I do not use measuring utensils when cooking so I will guestimate the best I can)

In a small sauce pan warm up a bit of (2Tbs. - ish) olive oil. Add more if you feel like it needs it. Take 2 small cooking onions and chop up. Toss in oil on medium low heat. Stir up occasionally. Cook until a wee bit brown. Add one can of drained and washed black beans. Add 4-6 Tbs chopped roasted red pepper. Add a dump of (1 Tbs.) cumin. Stir it up and serve this yummy goodness with a side of chicken, watermelon and two slices of bacon for desert.

Hula Hoops

At the Unitarian Universalist Congregation that we go to they have hula hooping after the service. I love this part of the day. The hoops are made of PVC pipes so they are bigger and heavier than regular hula hoops. Last year the Monkey could not do all that well and this year he was hula hooping two at a time and could even hula hoop around his neck. The Bean is still figuring it our. I think we need to get some PVC pipe....

Kale Chips

Kale Chips is what you do when you have kale here, kale there kale EVERYWHERE!

I have enough kale blanched and frozen to last us all winter. Although I may be the only one eating it - yummy yummy with a little Frank's Red Hot Sauce.

I thought I may have a better chance of my family embracing kale in chip form. Everyone in my house loves chips. Green chips, do you think they bought it? Um, no. But I am in love.

So being that I am not a recipe person most of the time here is how I did it.

1. Wash kale and check for bugs n' stuff. Spin or pat it dry.

2. Remove the leaves from the center stem.

3. Tear up into pieces about the size of a chip, like a tortilla chip not a Frito or chocolate chip.

4. Toss them in a big bowl with a enough olive oil to lightly cover (less than you think so be careful) and a dash of salt or garlic salt. You can get creative with cumin, or chili powder as you get used to making it.

5. Lay out one layer on a cookie sheet.


6. Place in a 350 degree preheated oven for about 10 minutes or so. Until the edges are just starting to turn brown. Be aware that if you pull it out too early it will be soggy and not chippy.

7. Remove from sheet onto paper towel to soak up some of the excess oil.

8. Present on a colorful complimentary plate and EAT UP!




Check out eatmorekale.com for your own kale t-shirt!

Killer Headaches

Last night after watching 2 episodes of season one of Chuck while massaging Big Daddy's aching back (multitasking at its finest) I snuggled into bed at a lovely 11:30pm. At 1:30pm I hear the Monkey come into our room, as he often does, to sleep on the floor next to my side of the bed. Shortly thereafter I start to hear the wee sniffles of him crying. Unfortunately I know all too well what this means - the Monkey has another one of his spike through the head headaches.

Last spring he started to get them once every three weeks or so in the middle of the night. I am starting to feel more confident in my theory of dehydration headaches combined with growing pains. He is sprouting like a weed and he did have wake in the middle of the night leg pains in his earlier years. He didn't have one all summer but yesterday was the first day of homeschool group. This means lots of running around and talking and excitement.

No matter what the source, they are super terrible for him and for us since we feel completely helpless to assist our poor suffering little fella. We have tried - drinking water, Tylenol, homeopathics, cranio sacral, massage, visualization, whoodoo voodoo, you name it we have tried it.

So 1:30am - crying, Tylenol at and a little massage. 2:30am - threw up from headache on white carpet at the foot of our bed. 3:30am - threw up again but made it to toilet. By this point I was weary of trying to sleep just to be woken up again but finally my body allowed me to drift into slumber until the alarm went off at 8am for my 9am meeting.

It was a teacher orientation for the UUAA from 9am to noon. I must admit that I have a very hard time sitting and being talked to for three hours even with breaks. Doing it sleep deprived was a true test. To make things even more challenging my full coffee cup dumped over on the floor of my car on the way to the meeting and all they had was tea when I got there.

Tea was not going to cut it for a three hour meeting so at break I snuck into the kitchen and dumped a couple of tablespoons of coffee into my cup and poured hot water over it. As the meeting reconvened I strained the coffee through a paper towel into another coffee cup to be transferred back to my original cup after I rinsed all the grounds out. That did the trick.

After much talking and "get to know you" activities (that I was so not in the mood for) the meeting ended and my husband walked in with a not so happy presence. He was dropping off the Money for choir orientation but the moment I saw him I remembered I was supposed to take his car that morning so he could take the van to pick up a generator from some friends of ours in Ann Arbor to take to our other friends in Ypsilanti who just closed on their house yesterday, but they have no electricity until Monday and there is no time to dilly dally since they are 38 weeks pregnant with their second child and the carpets needed to be cleaned before moving stuff in.

I then found out he tried to pick up the generator in the Buick and got stuck in traffic on the way to Ann Arbor since it is a football Saturday. En route his phone died and he got stung by a yellow jacket while driving. The generator did not fit. He drove to the UUAA to drop the Monkey off and swap cars to go back and pick up the generator just to find out the choir orientation was canceled. Whoops.

All of this before noon.

The day mellowed out after this but I am waiting for just one day or absolutely nothing. Someday a nothing day will come and I will not know what to do with myself.

Addendum: Later that day I was pulling out of the drive way and got half way down the street before I noticed that the BRAND NEW library book I am reading was on the roof of the car. I slowed to a stop but apparently not carefully enough because the book slid off the hood and I drove over it. I immediately jumped out and pulled it out from under the back wheel a little rumpled. It is a hard cover so it held up ok. I flattened out the pages and stuck it under my butt the rest of the drive to flatten it. Shhhhh.... don't tell. ;)

Book I am Reading:

Birth Day : A Pediatrician Explores the Science, the History, and the Wonder of Childbirth by Dr. Mark Sloan


"California pediatrician Sloan has helped deliver more than 3,000 babies, and he marvelously captures the precarious nature of childbirth—both its joys and its anxieties—while treating readers to an informal and captivating history of the medical practices surrounding birth in America. Sloan shares his first bumbled attempts at delivering babies as an intern, which leads him into reflect on why doctors persist in having women lie down to give birth when standing or squatting are better physical postures for it. Sloan ranges surely and splendidly over epidurals, cesarean births, premature birth and neonatal nurseries, as well as the state of an infant's five senses at birth. For example, he points out that the fetus not only smells the foods its mother eats, it remembers them after birth and tends to like what it remembers. Sloan counsels that women cannot prepare for labor, because events change rapidly during the process. He advises women to surround themselves with the people they love: unlike other labor pain relievers she may choose, their benefits will last the rest of her life."

Distracted By Food

This is why we did not do our daily routine this morning -

My son and husband tell me often that I cannot save all the food but I choose not to believe their naysay ways. I can and will make use of all these gift that the dirt has given us even if it means eating pesto and tomato jam all darn winter.

I was not planning on this bounty. Honestly I thought I was done harvesting food for the year but the small city plot we had was dying off and many of the tomatoes were rotted in saddness from my lack of visitation to them and my friend had an overflow of her yard garden to share.

So friday schooly activites are bumped to Sunady family time, which may upset the troops since that is MarioKart time if Big Daddy is around, but I cannot let a drop of this goodness go to waste.

My husband tells me that folks may be a bit disappointed to get tomato jam for the holiday but I poopoo the thought. What is better than a gift of food that was made with loving hands and an obsessive heart?

Here is a wee glimpse into what I did with my summer -

Book Suggestion:

The Big Book of Preserving the Harvest by Carol W. Costenbader

“Remember how grandmother’s cellar shelves were packed with jars of tomato sauce and stewed tomatoes, pickled beets and cauliflower, and pickles both sweet and dill? Learn how to save a summer day – in batches – from the classic primer, now updated and rejacketed. Use the latest inexpensive, time-saving techniques for drying, freezing, canning, and pickling. Anyone can capture the delicate flavors of fresh foods for year-round enjoyment and create a well-stocked pantry of fruits, vegetables, herbs, meats, flavored vinegars, and seasonings.”

Goldilocks and the Three Curriculums

I am a unschooler unfortunately my kids are not so much, they like structure and guidance. This year, with the Monkey being 8 and the Bean turning the big 0-5(!), was the year I knew I would have to pull up my boot straps and get on the ball.

In the past I have tried a couple of curriculum’s in an attempt to be a schooly homeschooler, which is what I thought I was supposed to be. Oak Meadow was our first try. It is a loosely structured Waldorf/Montessori, but was just too loose for my attention span. We made it through a few weeks before I bailed. At the time I tried it I was working nights while my husband worked days so prep time was limited. With this in mind I decided to try something much more structured.

My next curriculum was Sonlight. A heavily reading based and very structured curriculum. Instead of buying the package deal, with all the books used that year included, from the company I decided to do it economy. Which meant figuring out what books I could get from the library or inter-library loan, then see who had books I could borrow, finally I bought the remaining books online used at half.com. This was quite an undertaking but monetarily I think it worked out ok. We made it through maybe a week before I realized it was way too much for us. I was drowning in notebooks, post it notes, bookmarks, books, and to me it just seemed like chaos (mind you chaos that I was creating most likely from lack of organizational preparation time)

At this point I was pretty fed up with curriculums. I found the excuse of having a second child who was running head first into the depths of toddler-dom along with me working a lot to be sufficient enough for me to lay off the curriculums and truly unschool for a couple of years.

Unschooling has been a great experience and remarkably easy. One of the greatest accomplishments in this time was the Monkey teaching himself how to read. This truly taught me that kids do not need to be “taught”. I really believe that since we were so free the past couple of years he felt more comfortable and at ease with his relationship to reading. He was a reading with tears kind of kid early on in the days where I tried to “teach” him. Being able to see it as a relationship that is different for everyone and that grows at its own pace was a very important lesson for me to learn.

The unschooling years also allowed me to de-school myself a bit. To let go of my preconceived ideas of learning and get over the 12 years + of educational programming. I must be very honest here I am still struggling with this daily. I am also struggling with letting go of my ideas of “being a grown up” but that is another post.

This summer I was trying to figure out what we were going to do this year. I got a better handle on my work schedule. I found a great system for managing the house. All that was left was what to do about homeschooling. A friend introduced me to this great into to science book Building Foundations of Scientific Understanding by Dr. Bernard Nebel. searching on the internet for and about this book I came across this website Brining Up Learners. It is awesome! The best part is that they have a downloadable FREE curriculum. How exciting is that? Especially after I have spent hundreds of dollars in teaching materials in the past.

It is just enough to satisfy my kids desire for structure and introduction of new ideas. It is also structured but minimal to meet my unschooly style. As always things may change but for now it is all going grea. Everyday is a challenge but if it were not I would be concerned.

Book Suggestion:

Parenting a Free Child: An Unschooled Life by Rue Kream

"Parenting A Free Child: An Unschooled Life presents a radical approach to parenting and education in a way that seems logical, obvious and natural. I use the word “radical” because Kream’s approach is very different to mainstream parenting, even within the homeschooling community. It is built on an incredible and absolute trust in her two children and aims to give them control over all aspects of their life."

Searching For Enlightenment

My kids love to chat especially my older boy, the Monkey, age 8. Since his sister started to mumble her fist sprouts of chatter he would HAVE to interupt her budding communication. Her response to this was to just scream in lue of speaking actual words for the first few years. After lunch yesterday we sat down for a lovely bowl of Cookies and Cream / Napolean ice cream mix up and a mellow afternoon chat.

The Bean, age 5, was on the verge of speaking when the Monkey interrupted her by inquiring about going by Morgan & York in Ann Arbor in search of the perfect jawbreaker. He didn’t know the name of Morgan & York so it was a 10 minute conversation of “you know, that one place with the candy”, “that place with the chocolate stuff”, “that place we went to that one time” – you get the idea.

The Bean finally found a lull in the conversation to very sweetly say “excuse me mama”. I reply “yes, sweetie?” She continues ” well mama…… when we all get old we die? We die when we get old? Everybody gets old and dies and then the planet gets old and dies. So, what happens after the planet dies?” Since the topic of death and dying is not new to our house I give my usual answer of “I don’t know Bean”. Then a shock of hope lights through my body that maybe she is young enough that she has the answers to the source of all my anxiety attacks. I ask “What do you think happens?” Hope shimmered in my aura for the briefest moment then she replied “Dunno, mama. ” As she shoveled the next spoonful of ice cream in her mouth I start pondering the big ideas of our existence and the kids troddle off screaming “hey, wanna play adventurer?” “YA!”

I am left with empty ice cream bowls and deflated hope and simmering anxiety. Just another day at the office.

Suggested Book:

Little Big Minds by Marietta McCarty

“Little Big Minds is a guide for any adult to take a child into the world of wonder and awe that is at the heart of philosophy. Children are natural philosophers, and Marietta McCarty discovered through her philosophy program for kids from kindergarten through eighth grade just how eager they are to explore ideas and to use clear thinking to understand and to improve their lives.”

Thought of the Day

This is something I posted elsewhere when talking about my issue of tackling religious discourse with others of differing opinion, with my kids, and how to handle those who differ in opinion and call you stupid for your beliefs.

we teach violence is not allowed. we teach respect for others beliefs even if they disagree and conflict with our own. we teach agreeing to disagree. we teach empathy for others and that their need to share their opinion that our beliefs are stupid may come from a place of strong conviction to their own beliefs which our beliefs may threaten. We teach to have understanding that they may not have the right or more respectful words to convey that our beliefs make them uncomfortable. we teach open minded respectful discourse if that can be achieved by both parties. we teach to be open to ever changing thought and new ideas.
now i am aware that when getting into deeper topic of racism, the holocaust and other crimes against humanity things are more complicated but for now we keep it simple in our house.

Yes, this happened today in the neighborhood, and Sam being very into right and wrong and sound and just, needed to process. It didn't help that the other kid was unrelenting and then got a little physical. But in the end the boy went home and the day went on. Whew, the world is a tough place to figure out.

Mater's

Oh the year of the tomato.

I still have a fear of canning tomatoes so it has mostly been a lot of freezing and salsa and Tomato Glut (which is awesome ~ it is the perfect hamburger helper!)

This week though I came across the mother of all tomato recipe's thanks to one Monica P. It is the recipe for Tomato Jam. YUM!

It is as follows:
what i used:
• 1 pound tomatoes
• 1 cup sugar... Read More
• 1/2 cup apple cider vinegar
• 1/8 broken stick cinnamon
• 7 whole cloves
• 1/4 tsp whole allspice

what i'm doing:
• Wash, peel and cut tomatoes.
• Put them in a saucepan and add vinegar, cloves, allspice, sugar and cinnamon.
• Simmer, till thick, keep stirring.

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I made 4pound of tomatoes and it took quite awhile for it to boil down but patience is a virtue and damn worth it. Holy mother of Pete is all i have been able to say all day. I have one jar in the fridge and three in the freezer. I will be looking for more tomatoes soon because I want to be stocked all winter on this deliciousness!

Here is the best find of the day. 10 frozen bananas in my freezer which ended up being a triple batch of banana bread. Take the banana bread and goober on that lovely tomato jam, add a side of a wonderful medium sharp cheddar and you have found heaven in your mouth.

Culinary Genius!

Drinking the Kool-Aid

Tomorrow morning I will be drinking the Kool-Aid.

Tomorrow morning I will be joining the First Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Ann Arbor.

I, the usually non-joiner type, will be joining.

I have not even joined my local Ypsilanti Coop because it is just too much.

But tomorrow I join the UUAA.

This is a decision I have been mulling around for quite a bit. I started attending the AAUU three years ago. The first year I lurked. The second year I joined a chalice circle of women I already knew. The third year I went to the Women's Retreat and joined a book club of the same ladies I knew (it was kind of a morph from the chalice circle) and took the Introduction to UU class. The fourth year I am joining. Also in this fourth year I will be co-teaching the OWL class for either graders. The OWL is Our Whole Lives . This was the motivation for me to take that final step and sign the book. They want all teachers to have a commitment to the UU. So I drink the Kool-Aid.

I am a pretty roll wtih the flow kind of gal (with intense moments) and I didn't think much of my procrastination of this last step or the quick decision to take this last step until two days ago, a few days after I had made arrangments to sing the book this Sunday.

I am surprisingly excited and proud to be joining. I am really trying to allow myself to really appretiate it for the meaningful moment it is to me. Very regularly I will down play moments like this and others things like my graduations and wedding, not wanting too much of a fuss. So I am really trying to let go of that tendency and embrace it as something really neat-o.

So, over the lips and through the gums watch out tummy here it comes!

My 60 year old self

Tonight at the Doula Collective meeting Jenna told us about the best comforting exercise that she made up in college when she was having a hard time.

In times of stress or distress or sadness or whenever imagine your (she said 40 year old self but I find my 60 year old self more appropriate) 60 year old self giving your current self a hug. She, knowing that this time you are in will pass and she knows how it will work out, she is there to comfort you through this time. Because really no one knows us better than we know ourselves. How wonderful. What a great exercise for self love and respect.

I LOVE THIS.

Book Club

It has been a summer of reading for me. This is new since I have always seemed to struggle with reading, but it has been great!

I joined a book club - first meeting I went but did not read the book. Second meeting I went having read half the book. Third meeting I missed but didn't read the book. Fourth meeting I went and i skimmed the book. Fifth meeting I went and I read the book. Sixth meeting I will be going having read the book since I recommended it. Now this may not sound like a successful run in the book club but really for me it is. I must note though that I had been listening to all the Harry Potters in the car this year with Sam and Ella but I have been informed by my husband that if you listen to a book you are not reading it - I told him to keep that thought to himself.

So the book I recommended was Breakfast with Buddha by Roland Merullo. My mom recommended it and said she laughed out loud. Now very little makes me laugh out loud (although a podcast of The Moth yesterday did but I can talk about that later). I have not laughed out loud but it has hit a soft spot for me and has made me really reassess how I look at this crazy life I live.

I have read my share of Thich Nhat Hahn but this book takes all those teachings and puts it in a delightful story that my overloaded brain can handle. So I am trying to mindfully put down my calendar and play chess with my son when he asks. I try to stop processing the mountain of tomatoes from the harvest and sit and color with Ella. I try to be present when hanging out watching Psych with my darling husband. I try to make it a priority to make art again and stop being so damned "responsible".

I think I have really been over doing this grown up thing. Some can pull it off well but I am realizing me trying to be a grown up is like a blind gorilla trying to be a dentist. So I am going to go back to what I am good at, it will take some time, there are 10 years of de-programming to do. It will not be easy and I will stumble but the best journeys are along the stumbly path.