Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Moms with ADD


Moms With ADD: A Self-Help Manual by Christine A. Adamee

I bought this book 5 years ago. I read about 25 pages and got distracted by something shiny.

Recently I have picked it up again in hopes to actually finish it. (and no I have not finished Birth Day, yet)

This book is like a hug and a voice saying "It's ok sugar, you are not a bad mom you are just a different kind of mom." Something I could really use right now.

I was diagnosed ADD when I was 18 after years of therapists and testing, trying to figure out why I did not quite function like others. Females being diagnosed as ADD is less common and being diagnosed at an older age was also unique. I was put on Ritalin and I could focus better but I felt like I was stuffed with a fog. It calmed me down and I could read easier but I had less ideas to distract me and I was not sure about that. After awhile I decided I did not like it much at all, it was like part of my personalty was cut out. Like phantom limb but phantom personality.

I did not like being labeled ADD so I looked at it as a personality type rather than a disorder. Or maybe a really weird super power. Depression was also something I struggled through in the time as a young adult out on my own. That time was more like swimming in chaos (as most do in their 20's). Three colleges (I kept dropping out when I would hit rock bottom) and 7 years for me to get a college degree. It probably would have been easier to be medicated during this time but it just did not feel right to me.

Even now I have professionals and friends recommend that I try medication. I have had times where I seriously considered it but after all the factors are taken into account it still is not for me.

So here I am reading a self-help book to find more tools to help me stay sane and keep all the amazing things about being ADD.

In the book there is a section on how to handle your children being in school and what works for everyone. She talks about public schools but also introduces charter schools and then I noticed that she lists homeschool as an option! I was instantly geeked to see a bit on homeschooling as an ADD mom.

The excitement was short lived as I flipped to page 135:

"This section is a very short section, because I could find nothing on homeschooling in regards to moms with ADD. In fact, it seems to me that homeschooling would be very difficult for a mother who has ADD herself. At one point my son asked me to homeschool him, and I nearly burst into laughter. I know teaching a child takes a certain regimine and structure, and I also knew it was beyond my capabilities. I told him that it was really not a good idea, because I didn't know how to teach children and didn't think I could learn it, especially 'on the job.'

It is possible that some might be able to handle homeschooling. One mother did tell me that she was homeschooling her children. I suspect, however, that for most of us, it's not a very good idea."

WOW! Talk about deflating. Luckily I like to defy the odds, I am stubborn and I believe in my kids ability to learn in non-traditional ways. The compliments I get on my kids are enough to tell me that I am not doing all that bad.

I am determined to read this entire book. It is full of great insight and tools... even if she is a gray cloud on my parade at times. I will get distracted and forget about the gray cloud by tomorrow anyway.

2 comments:

Kathi said...

Kate, keep in mind that she was talking about *her* approach to homeschooling and *her* children (they needed regimen, and/or she needed to provide it, lol). She' not even touching on unschooling...while I know you vacillate between unschooling and curriculum (or touch on different parts of the spectrum), I think you stay pretty in tune with your kids and their needs. It sounds like there are several reasons that school wouldn't be a nurturing environment for them...so, while you may not always provide "regimen" you *are* responsive and nurturing ;-) And that's something to be proud of, regardless of whether it fits that author's perspective of doing a good job as a homeschooling mom.

Jen said...

In fact Kate I'd even venture as far as to say that ADD could be an asset to unschooling, since it's all about the ability to shift gears so quickly and sporadically... since venturing further and further out into unschooling I've noticed that James' adhd tenancies almost seem to help him keep floating on to newer and more interesting things... with infinite freedom, it is almost impossible for up attention jumpers to get bored... which really is a huge plus!

is that something like a little rainbos behind the cloud... maybe?